Spiraling...

I think I'm heading into a depression state... I'm not sure, but I don't really want to eat (though I will say I perk up with Rainier Cherries), I don't want to sleep, I don't want to DO anything... I just want to sit and be left alone. *sigh*

I'm not sure what's going on, but I know it's gotta be hormonal. I was fine yesterday. I was actually really excited yesterday when I was speaking with one of the potential Doula's I met with. She's a great person who, it turns out, knows Fred from FireJam. I have one other Doula to meet, though if I don't hear back from her soon, I'm just going to go with Tia at Inner Serenity. She's a registered nurse as well as a Doula, and is very practical-minded when speaking about the whole process. She was very down-to-earth, and not what I was expecting at all - pleasantly so.

I've put together my schedule for the next 2.5 weeks so that I can have a 4-day weekend, two days of which will be at the beach with Fred, Vlad and Mish. I'm hoping that it will snap me out of whatever funk I seem to be dropping into, and things will be better. I haven't been to the beach in a few years, and I think I need to dabble my feet in the water and recharge. It's going to be the closest that Fred and I will be getting to for a "honeymoon". Separate rooms for us, so we don't keep anyone up (theoretically speaking) while we have wild, weasel sex. LOL.

I just don't like feeling this way at all... Kind of like I wanna cry, wanna curl up and disappear, and not deal with anything or anyone at all. Ugh. It's just all too dramatic, and I hate that. Save the dramatics for the silver screen.

~M

Name that movie...

There are lots and LOTS of movies out there that I've seen over the years... I thought it would be nifty to put down quotes from them and see how many people got them.

These are (mostly) more obscure quotes, too - so you have to *know* the movie to get it right. However, there are some of them that I just couldn't resist because they're some of my favorites.


"That be a damned shame, when somebody throws away a perfectly good white boy like that."


"Just one more question - will this be all together?"


"...I'd like to compliment you on your choice of footwear."


"I'm surrounded by assholes!"


"Somebody ought to sew his ass shut!"


"You can't have any, you're too young."


"You know what I want?! I want Ken Railings to come in here and say 'Pam shore's broken both her legs, and I wanna dance with you.'!"


"'ello, beastie..."


"That's not how the pigeons do it! You're s'posed to jump on her head and peck her!"


"You whine like a mule. You are still alive."


"This is a wild pig. THAT'S a wild bore."


"An owl hooting? It was singing you to sleep!"


"I must throw her a party, or else everyone will know how much I dislike her."


"Oh, I don't like a man with... too many muscles..."


"Home! Home is where you wear your hat!"


"...molesting the handicapped?"


"It's ok, little brother... There are more."


"Not live rounds! Oh! Poor Simon!"


"...Just because I belong to the hairy mole club?!"


"It's the car, right? Chicks dig the car."


"It's my brother's birthday, and he loves turkey..."


"It's a complete piece of... antiquated equipment, sir."


"I needed someone she wouldn't recognize. Someone exotic..."


"Welcome! Welcome to Gross Human Anatomy! Come in! Come in!"


"My father used to work for your father... Of course, the rates have gone up..."


"Jehovah! Jehovah!"


"You can't claim to be king just because some watery tart in a pond gets up and decides to hand you a sword!"


"On any other day, that might seem strange..."


"Is that normal?... Yeah, the twitching?... Can you make that stop?"


"Those are some chubby koi."

Good news, bad news...

Good news: Got the grocery shopping done for the next 2 weeks, and got 2 new outfits to wear to the beach (banking on the approval of the arranged trade I have in).

Bad news: Couldn't get anything done regarding my name change. Went to the DMV, and they no longer take the "pretty" certificate. You have to have the "offical" certificate issued by the county. Went to the county, and they don't have the paperwork showing that I'm married, so I couldn't get the certificate issued... I left them with the $7.75 to have it mailed to me once the paperwork is there... (hint, hint).

So, all in all, about 5 hours total on the bus travelling and/or waiting around, and an hour or two in the grocery store, and I got one out of 3 things done today. *sigh*

I'm exhausted.

~M

Isn't that Special...

The "special" people have invaded... I have had special people coming through my phone since I logged in today... For instance... The person who called in looking for someone:

Caller: Yeah, I'm looking for Joe Shmoe.
Me: Ok - are they a patient or an employee?
Caller: I don't know...
Me: Ok (looking through my database)...
Caller: I mean, they're in a room at the hospital...
Me: OK - so they're a patient?
Caller: I guess so...

There was the one who called in wanting to know if the ER was open, and if she could come in to be seen... Not kidding...

I've had a slew of them all day. Makes me happy today is my Friday. While tomorrow will be frought with it's own harrows (braving the DMV and the social security office, then to WinCo), I have a feeling I will do better... We'll see... Perhaps I will leave all sharp impliments at home just to make sure...

~M

Updates and things...

Got a crib today. I found it via Craig's List and jumped at the chance for a nice, barely-used portable crib with two bed settings and the mattress for only $45. The gal delivered it to us, and also handed over the crib set (bumper, etc), so I threw in an extra $5 since it was so super of her to deliver it and hand over the extra stuff.

I also went shopping yesterday with Fred for new shirts for me. I got 5, AND 2 bellydance dvd's for less than $60, so score another point (or five) for moi.

I apparently am lacking in protein, or energy, or both... Maybe it's just the whole "making of the baby" thing. Whatever it is, I was so tired today that, after the crib was delivered, I passed out on the couch for a good 2 hours and slept hard. Good for me, since I need to be up late, but I will say I felt like a total slug... There's stuff to be cleaned up still from the wedding that hasn't been done yet, and I should be going through the kitchen putting things away. *sigh* Instead, I sleep. LOL.

On the plus side, while I had to finally let out my pants two inches at the waist (no more muffin-top for me, thank you), my thighs have gotten a bit thinner. On the not-so-good side, my calves have gotten bigger... Go figure. I have yet to honestly figure out how the whole thing is going to end up looking at the end of the pregnancy, but I have visions of calves the size of thousand-year-old redwoods, and thighs the size of saplings. *chuckle*

I finally seem to be connecting with some of those on the mothering.com side. At least a few of them don't *seem* to be the crystal-gripping, granola-crunching hippies (as Fred puts it) that I had originally dealt with there. I may even be hosting a few sewing parties for making bottoms... I'm only a month or so away from needing to get into new pants, or making new pants, or completely forgoing pants altogether - which would be interesting, but not at all appropriate for work, as I also have no skirts to wear that will fit by then, either... LOL.

I have a busy two days off coming up. Monday I'm headed to the DMV early in the morning, and then over to the SS office to update everything... Then it's over to do the shopping at Winco. Tuesday I'm off again, this time over to the Fabric Depot outdoor sale for possible fabrics to use for pants and skirts, then home again, home again, jiggity jig.

I'm getting tired of running out of breath by the time I hit the top of a low-grade hill. Ugh.

~M

Irish Recipe...

Pottage

First of all, Pottage was (and still is) a main staple food for most of Ireland. It combines inexpensive ingredients with rib-sticking qualities necessary for workers. I have heard horror stories of people actually boiling sausages in with it, and serving it up. Mine is a little more simple, and a lot more appetizing. You can do the boiled sausages if you like, but I think it tastes better (and looks more appetizing) my way.

1 whole cabbage, shredded
4 medium baking potatoes, peeled and chopped
4 carrots, peeled and chopped
Enough water to cover everything by 1"

1/2 lb bacon, cooked and drained
Salt and pepper to taste

Combine first four ingredients in a large pot. Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and cook until everything is falling apart. Mash with a large masher. Add bacon, salt and pepper, and stir. Serve.

Like I said - it's achingly simple, and good to eat. Not lots of cream or butter (though you can add these things if you like to make it creamier). The bacon adds a great salty, smoky flavor to it, without it being overpowering. If you want to do the sausage in it, I recommend frying it ahead of time, and replacing the bacon with it.

~M

Happiness...

Yesterday, I ended up doing the one thing that I'd swore, after divorcing the ex, that I'd never do again. I said "I Do".

I have never felt so right in my life. It's wonderful. Mum came down for the wedding, and we had a small, intimate gathering of friends for the wedding. All in all, I think we had maybe twenty people there. But it was nice. I knew everyone (except for one person that was really odd, and I'll get into that at a later time), and we all had a great time.

The ceremony was beautiful, and both Fred and I just about lost it in tears while we were saying our vows. I'm pretty sure that Mum cried a little. Mishu and Anxiety were lovely in their dresses, and Speedboy and Vlad were quite handsome in their kilts and blue shirts.

We have photos coming from both Mana, who was wonderful enough to agree to photograph the whole thing, and from Steve, who got some great portrait shots of some of the guests as well as us. I can't wait to see them.

All in all, a great time, and a wonderful way to begin a new life together.

~M

A tribute...

I did not know him, but I know you - and through you I know that he was great; kind, generous and loving. He will always be with you, and will be forever remembered. He loved, and was loved by, his family. His star shines bright from this day forth by all who were touched by him.

Lo, do I see my father,
Lo, do I see my mother,
Lo, do I see my brothers and my sisters,
Lo, do I see the line of my people back to the beginning,
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me to take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla,
Where the brave may live forever.

Gods go with you.

~M

WTF!?

Sometimes, it's just best to leave well enough alone and quit digging the (obvious) grave you happen to be standing in. But apparently, some people just are gluttons for making the earth as rocky as possible under them.

Before slinging stones and arrows about whose parenting skills are better than others, keep in mind that your OWN parenting skills are going to be brought into question. If you children aren't with you due to the courts feeling that you aren't a fit parent, you'd best not be telling others that they aren't fit parents because of xyz that they're doing. If you don't even *know* where your child is because the courts (and your ex) have determined that you aren't a fit parent, don't suggest that someone else might not be. And, just because you've been a foster parent for a whole 6 months (if that), it doesn't make you a "fit" parent. It just means you were able to jump through the (relatively) easy hoops it takes to get extra money coming in from the state to support you instead of having to go to work like most other people in the world. Consider that the state STILL didn't allow you to have full custody of your own child.

And as far as honesty is concerned, you shouldn't be slinging THAT millstone around, either, if you can't say you've never done anyone wrong. Which you have. Several times. I'm not even talking the little group of people who are now banding together wanting to see your final downfall. I'm talking about the state, who was duped by you for several months after you no longer had the kids. Yet you were still claiming food stamps for them. I'm talking about the person whose money you stole when you forged a check. I'm talking serious, real-life crimes here. You aren't an honest person - you are someone who preys on the loopholes of society to get what you want instead of working honestly toward goals to get what you need.

You are a user, an abuser, and you have no remorse in hiding your own shameful acts behind the waving of red flags about other people's shortcomings. You will forever be surrounded by their percieved drama because you are unable and unwilling to face your own inadequacies.

When you reach the bottom of the hole, you will find nothing but air, and it will not sustain the weight of your crimes - and thus, you will fall far beyond anyone else's help or sight - and you will not be missed.

~M

Another thing done...

Lil's dress arrived today. I unpacked it and inspected it to make sure that everything looks good. I'm actually glad I got the larger size, as I had a suspicion that it would still be a titch small even based on measurements - and I think I am right (at least, on eyeballing it). She'll need to have it steamed to get the wrinkles out, but then it'll be all pretty and flowy and lovely. yay!

Fred is finishing up the kilts. We are having a bit of an issue with the kilt for Speedboy - apparently the waistband didn't want to cooperate. But, Fred's figured out a way to work with it in the meantime, so I'm not going to worry about it until after the wedding.

I still need to get the "emergency" kits together with all the stuff I am figuring I might need just in case... I will most likely do that on Monday, since I'm planning on sleeping in tomorrow and not doing anything. I realize it's father's day - honestly, Fred doesn't care much. We've compromised, by me not making a big deal about it, and him not having to cook (we're doing pizza, or somesuch). However, I need just a smidge more sleep currently, so will be taking advantage as much as possible of all my time off.

As of Monday, Fred will be in charge of pulling the house together and cleaning up, vacuuming and generally putting things in order. I'll be helping when and where I can, but he has the whole week off, and I only get from Thursday forward - so... He's going to be stuck with most of it - of course, there's the fact that Speedboy's off from school, so he'll most likely be roped into helping as well. Bwa ha ha ha.

According to What To Expect.Com, I'm now 8 weeks along and in full swing with the morning sickness. The bean is now about the size of a raspberry, and getting specific limbs, and little toes and fingers are separating out.

The odd thing is that the site says they don't really know what causes morning sickness. I know exactly what's causing mine...

See, according to the site, the body, in an attempt at getting the fetus as much nutrients as possible, is keeping hold of all food in the lower GI tract until it's pretty much soup. This, in turn, creates a high amount of gas which is pushed out on either side of the food, which causes farting on the one end, and puffs out the stomach on the other end.

The stomach, feeling all the lovely fullness, figures that it's full and increases the stomach bile to process what it thinks is food. Instead, it causes even MORE gas, and then the belching happens. The vomiting reaction is caused when anything is swallowed (even saliva) and the stomach eyeballs the offending item and refuses to deal with it.

And thus, you have morning sickness... Or at least, you have MY version of morning sickness... I've gotten the largest bottle of Tums on the planet without going to Costco... Lemme tell ya, I'm such the sexy one... *braaaaaaaaap*

~M

I has a sweet potato...

You must must MUST check out the following link for the story...

That is all.

~M

http://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html

Whoot! The best Evah!

So, last night was the engagement party. Neither a bachelor party nor a bachelorette party, in the traditional sense. Instead, it was a good deal of fun at the bar, having dinner, singing Karaoke, and having (for me) virgin Mai Tai's (dem's tasty!).

The day started out for me fairly early. I woke up around 8-ish in the morning, had some breakfast, and started sewing. I got both Fred and Speedboy's kilts pleated. Then had a nap, and it was about that time that Speedboy returned from school (Yup - took almost 6 hours to completely sew the things. OMG!).

I got the first text message regarding the engagement party around 4-ish, and then a call. The plans were fairly secret, and we were expected to arrive at the Mandarin Palace around 7:45 that evening.

So, as soon as Fred got home, I threw him into the shower. Meanwhile, I decided, since we were getting taken to dinner, I could make a nice dinner for Speedboy. So, I threw together baked chicken, noodles and green beans for him.

One of the more interesting stipulations of the party was that we had to bring all of our "toys" with us... Fred packed them all up in a large file box, and covered it with a towel, and we headed out the door.

We met Vlad outside at his car so we could keep the toys there since, as Fred said "I'm not walking into the bar with a box full of gently-used sex toys." We stored it in the trunk, then waited (as we were a bit early) until the all clear was given by Mishu to go in.

She'd gotten our favorite KJ to come join the party and spin for us all evening long, and had the front portion of the bar cornered with our stuff. Vlad kept me hydrated with virgin Mai Tai's all evening, and we sang lots of songs and generally had a great time.

The highlight of the evening was afterwards (at least, for me). We were escorted out of the bar and put into Vlad's car, where we drove to a nearby hotel, where they'd rented a room for us.

We were given the key and told where it was, and sent on our way with our box of sex toys to toddle down the walkway. When we opened the room, we were stunned.

Candles were everywhere, lit, as were rosepetals, strewn all over. There were hershey's kisses and 3 muskateer bites, and a vase of roses and baby's breath. On the table were two champagne flutes and a sand pail filled with cold water (I'm sure it had been ice at first), holding a bottle of Martinelli's sparkling cider.

Fred was absolutely stunned. I couldn't stop giggling. It was grand. We immediately stripped and revelled in the fact that we could run around naked and not worry about anyone walking in. Ah, privacy - we're getting it now while we can. LOL.

After about an hour or so, we ended up in bed (nice, cushy, pillow-top mattress), and I was thoroughly pounced. So much so that, apparently the neighbors took offense and called the front desk to complain. *chuckle* A half-hour after we were done, they phone rang and the complaint came through. We apologised and said we were done, then fell asleep.

We were picked up this morning by Mishu, and taken back home. Fred now has a great top hat to model his leather one after, and I still have my cute little princess crown with the veil on it.

We had a grand time, and I don't think I will ever forget it.

Common Sense?

I feel a disturbance in the force lately...

Since starting the new job, I've found a decided LACK of common sense regarding how to deal with situations which may prove fatal - or those that may NOT prove fatal...

It happens all the time: families are faced with potentially serious situations, and they need to know what to do.

Some things, however, one would think would be pretty straight-forward...

For instance (Disclaimer - these are real situations that have happened all over the world - they have not, necessarily, come through on my phone line - names have been removed and specific locations have been disguised for protection):

Parent calls to speak with the Advice Nurse. Why? Because his 14-day-old child has been throwing up for the last 4 days, and has a temperature of 103... And he wants to know what to do...

Husband calls in wanting to speak with the doctor. Why? Because they've returned home (out of state) from having a surgery, and 24 hours after they arrived she now has a fever of 104. They don't know if they should go to the ER, since her family practitioner doesn't know about the surgery...

Patient's family calls in to speak with the doctor. Why? Because one of the 4 pins in their body has fallen out, and they need to know if they've put it back in correctly...

These are just a few... It seems to me, in pretty much ALL those cases, you should be seeking medical help face-to-face - not over the phone... I'm not medically trained, mind you, and I couldn't assist in any kind of ER work - other than holding a hand while someone else is bandaging the patient. But, I do know fairly obvious "needs medical assistance now" situations... These would be them...

*shakes head*

Sometimes I just don't understand...

~M

Granola-crunchers!

After I found out I was carrying the bean, I signed up for a "mothering" discussion forum. Little did I know what I was in for... Much of what I've found so far is not necessarily something that I'm all about. However, there was one discussion called "Teens and Modesty" that I was curious about, so I decided to poke into the blurb and see what was up...

mothertoall posts the original question: "hi, I have to make this short as all the kiddos are up....but I need to ask.....

"I do NOT follow any modesty guidelines for dressing for religous reasons. I have since I have gotten older begun to dress and feel more appropriate in modest (or more modest) dress. I have a niece living with me and she is 12. I have over the last year or so become increasingly uncomfortable with the way she dresses (or maybe its the clothes others buy her....i think.) and I am looking for some input here... My niece is fighting me tooth and nail.....but for my own reasons.....I feel more comfortable if she were dressing more modestly. I have made several requests of her which she follows....but not happily."

Initial response: "Pre-teen girls start to push the edges of acceptable behavior and that's normal. And, so is you saying "no" to clothing that may put forth negative messages about self-respect and intentions... DH or I would be certain to look DD over before she left for school or went out with friends. We weren't obvious about it, but we watched and, if she went over the line, we pulled rank. Sure, there was complaining. But, so what?"

mothertoall response: "I think the sexualization of children in our culture is horrible. I feel like I am already starting the same thing with my 5 year old.....she sees stuff on tv and wants to walk, talk and dress that way. I am frustrated. But I am sticking to my guns. No bellies, no butts hanging out , no revealing blouses or tops, and nothing see thru, no panties hanging out....My niece doesn't really understand...and she gets irratated...but It is MY house."

And it's here we start having issues... Because she says "It is MY house.

First response from "UnschoolnMa": "It is your house, true enough. (Does she live with you? If so, is it her house too?) It is her body no doubt. I think you can guide without being really heavy handed."

My response to Momtoall: "Fairly new here, and am enjoying what I read. I'm due in late January and this is my first.

"I remember my mother raising me when it was "uncool" to nurse, to say yes to your child, and to allow the freedom of choice about things. Personally, I think she did a fine job of raising me to be the best person I could be, with a good head on my shoulders.

"A lot of what she did I'm taking with me and keeping. She nursed me until I was between 2 and 3, when I finally decided that I didn't want the boob anymore, and instead wanted "big people" food. She chose to say yes when I wanted to pick out my own clothes (within reason based on season), and gave me options on which one to pick if I couldn't decide. She gave me the ability to understand that I could try something on the dinner table, and didn't have to eat it all, just had to try a little bit. And she made me understand that it was Mom and Dad who made the rules in the house, and they were reasonable, but would be followed - unless I could sit down with reasonable, calm arguments about change.

"I will most likely have small assorted fruit thrown at me for saying this, but I have always felt that, while our children share our homes and our lives, they still need limits and lines - as my mother used to say, "This is not a democracy, it's a benevolant dictatorship". Parents make the home safe and secure by not only being there, but setting reasonable boundaries for children to learn from, and follow. They learn how to deal with the "outside" world by learning how to follow the rules at home.

"My parents rules were very simple for living in the house:
A. Do your best in school, and GO to school every day unless you're sick.
B. If you aren't going to school, then you need to have a job.
C. If you don't have a job, then you need to do extra chores around the house to help out.
D. If you aren't doing any of the above, you are not being a productive member of this small society we call home, and you can find someplace else to live.

"I don't believe that it was harsh at all, though my older sister and brother felt that it was (they were from a previous marriage of my mother's). After I moved out of my parent's home, I lived with other people and their children. While they felt differently about disciplining their children than my mother did, they still had the limits set in place - it's reasonable to do so.

"I guess I'm a product of the times, but I believe that setting clothing limits is the LEAST one could worry about for a teenager... It's something that can, at least, be controlled by what is being purchased... :-)"

Response from Ruth: "Thank you for saying this! I'm a strong believer in kids needing boundaries and parents being the boss while they pay the bills etc. Sometimes it seems that I'm the only parent not trying to be my kids' best friend!

"Your comments make me feel good about the way I parent, because you see the value of how you were raised before you have become a parent yourself. I'm not throwing fruit at you -- I'm offering you a bowl of delicious Oregon strawberries as a thank you!"

response from UnschoolnMa: "I think it's possible to be both a close friend type parent and a trusted, caretaking, rolemodel. Everyone has boundaries (parents included!) and we treat each other with an equal level of respect that isn't based on age."

Response from "Linda on the move": "I was raised with the whole "my house my rules" line and I thought it was complete nonsense. If it wasn't my home, then I was homeless. I left home when I was still a teen, so I guess being told over and over than it wasn't my home and I had no say eventually sunk in.

"It is possible to provide a child with loving guidance without laying down the law."

My response to the whole "be friends with your children" discussion: "I believe that parents are there first and foremost to be the leader and guide to the world. Being friends with your kids is great, but it takes a back seat to teaching them what is expected of them in society. As for others who have stated that they didn't agree with the "My house, My rules" situation at home, and ended up leaving the situation because they didn't agree with it - well, I can only say that I'm sorry you felt you had to get away from the situation rather than discuss it rationally with your parents. It didn't help either your parents OR you in the long run.

"I had a "My house, My rules" home to grow up in, and I feel I came out just fine. My sister didn't like the idea, and ended up running away and living on the streets, because she refused to come up with a rational argument to have change that would benefit everyone. To this day, my sister is one of the most spoiled humans on this planet, and uses our mother's guilt at "forcing" her daughter out into the streets as a way to get everything she wants from Mom.

"I'm not saying that you cannot be your child's friend. However, there has to be a line between being your child's parent and being your child's friend. You need to make the distinction based on the situation. Friends do not set boundaries and rules at home. Friends do not enforce consequences when said boundaries are broken. Most importantly, friends do not always set positive examples of how to survive in the world.

"On the other hand, a parent DOES do those things. In fact, that's really what a parent is THERE for.

"Being a friend to your child means that you also know when it's time to be a parent, and following through with it."

Then "OrangeFoot" pops up with this: "IME the majority of parents with the 'My house, My rules' attitude to parenting are not the type of parents to enter into respectful and rational discussion with a child.

"Personally I think that pulling the 'I pay the bills' thing is totally unfair to children who have absolutely no other choices about where they live as they have no earning power.

"If you use these arguments you are essentially telling your child that they have no power and that you have it all. The discussions on this thread around control and validation for that control make me uncomfortable. I do believe that being my children's critical friend is a much more heathy way to move forward together than any form of dictatorship; benign, benevolent or malevolent."

My response to "OrangeFoot": "I can't answer to any other situations other than my own and those I've witnessed while living with friends. My parents did have the "My house, My rules" situation - however, they always had time to listen to me if I was willing to come to them with a reasonable way to change the situation regarding most anything - curfews, allowance, clothing, bedtimes - whatever. My friends as well have the "My house, My rules" situation. Again, they make time to listen to their teens if they had valid and reasonable changes to suggest. Perhaps these are exceptions, but I am going to follow the same situation in my home as well. I came out fine, and my friends teens are doing very well - well-adjusted, and quite confident in themselves.

"First of all, the "I pay the bills" argument is one that, by the time a parent would feel the need to play, the child is normally old enough to have a paper route, and the argument is usually about whether they can have money to spend for [insert whatever stuff here]. If you are using this argument prior to the point where a child can understand the issue at hand, and the reason why such an argument may (or may not) be valid, then you need some counselling. Obviously, a 5 year old is NOT going to understand said argument.

"There is a thin line between "boundary" and "control" - some people feel that it is the same thing. It is not. A boundary is something which is fluid, which bends when needed, and moves when necessary - when the situation needs it to. Control is rigid, it is un-moving, un-wavering, and unrelentless. It does not see when a compromise needs to be made. Forms of dress should fall under the idea of boundary - make reasonable compromises based on what is acceptable for age, modesty, and location.
As I said, I have seen what has worked in my family, and what hasn't. Each child, as I said before, is different, and requires different things to raise them successfully. I will take what I have seen work, and temper it with my own learning knowledge of my child and its needs - and I will go from there."

UnschoolnMa then comes up with this one: "We aren't really a consequences enforcing type of family so I can't really speak to that end of things. Positive and negative examples are everywhere including often in the home. I surely hope to be a mostly positive example to my kids, but I know there's some negative in there too. It seems that with the "my house, my rules" approach I would be saying "I get to make the rules because my voice matters more than yours." and that's just not all that positive IMO."

The final straw apparently came from another person who said finally, regarding the original issue (clothing - remember that?) that ultimately, the parent holds the credit card. At that point, "OrangeFoot" decided that she was out of the discussion because it was all about the control again, and we shouldn't have any control over our children at all.

Apparently, according to most of the posters on this forum, we are all supposed to be close-knit friends with our children, not set rules or boundaries for our kids, and let them do whatever they want and they will apparently, supposedly, grow up to be fully responsible adults, willing and able to handle the stresses of everyday life.

Uh huh... And if we all hold hands and hum Kum Bay Ya, the world will stop waging war, we will solve the world hunger and global warming issues, and rainbows will suddenly come out our ass to boot.

So, apparently I'm not going to be a good mother - at least not according to them. Whatever. I don't feel that having an "open bed" policy with your children allows them to grow into their own space and comfort. I don't feel that "on-demand" nursing is an ok situation after the child turns about 2 1/2 years old. I don't feel that refusing to place rules into effect, and not following through with reasonable consequences will make my child happier or more well-adjusted in the long run. And I don't feel that being a friend instead of a parent is a good choice to make. Perhaps it's just me, and how I was raised, but there it is.

~M

Missing...

It's 8:30pm, and I'm not going to get to go home until (hopefully) tomorrow night at 11:15. Though, as one of my co-workers has injured herself most foully this evening and won't be able to be in, I have a feeling I'll be working tomorrow night's grave as well... *sigh*

I miss Fred. I hate having to sleep on the couch here due to a stupid meeting in the morning that, most likely, will be stuff they could get us to read in an email and go over it with us should we have questions. I understand the whole "camraderie" thing, but since at least 3 people will have to be on the phones anyway, it's not as though everyone will be able to actually pay attention.

On the one hand, it's only once every 3 months. On the other hand, it's 13 days before the wedding and I am stressed - and I want to sleep next to my honey. *stomps foot*

After the stupid meeting tomorrow I get to go to a brunch with friends for my wedding shower. Yay me. I'll be tired, but it'll be nice to hang out with them.

I'm already rambling... I feel so tired, and I don't get to go to sleep for another 4 hours or so... Urgh. Wanna wanna wanna sweetie!

~M

Worries and Stresses...

There's 14 days left until the wedding... I *technically* have 53 hours total to sew the remaining portion of Fred's kilt, ALL of Josh's kilt, and hem up all 3 of the dresses...

On top of this, I am working, I have OT for 2 more of the days that I could have sewing time in the morning, and somehow, I also am going to "get" to work from Wednesday the 13th through Wednesday the 20th, so I can have the 21st through the 26th off...

I'm getting discombobulated... It's official.

On top of which, I'm worried about money (as usual), I'm worried about the bean (new), and I'm worried about my health (new-er, but not THAT new)...

I have now had 2 "official" days of morning sickness. I think I could completely pass through this entire portion of pregnancy with NO complaints at all from me... I don't care what the "au natural" mothers are prattling about - I don't enjoy barfing. Nor do I enjoy stomach pains... I may want a water birth, but I'm doing it for several reasons other than it being "natural" - it will be more comfortable (according to studies), and the clean-up should be easier (yay for easy clean-up of bloody messes). I am prepared for a c-section, however, as my mother had to have all but her first as a c-, and my sister ended up with both of hers as c-'s.

I need to find someone to be my Doula. It's something that I think I'm going to need toward the end, as I've never done this before, Mom's going to be 500 miles away (that's a different bunch of drama that I'll go into later), and Fred will be... well... I love him, but I don't kid myself that come the day I go into labor, he's going to be fairly useless trying to help, and then trying to keep out of the way. *chuckle*

I'm currently worried also about my mother's reaction over my email to her regarding the above-mentioned drama... See, for those who don't know, Mom (who is 67), gets to spend her week in one portion of WA, with my sister's two children (15 and 3), while my sister goes to work 5 days a week. She cooks, cleans, and generally nanny's both of the kids during that time. Friday, she gets the house ready for her departure, and then travels two and a half hours to her OWN home, where she has rental property she needs to take care of, and spends the weekend up there, trying to pick up the messes that were left behind the last weekend she was there...

The original issues started 3 years ago, when Sister had to move in with Mum due to financial issues. She had the baby, and all three of them lived with Mum for 3 years, paying minimal rent, while she had Mum take care of both kids and she went to work. The "new" situation started in December, when Sister had foot surgery (they had to break and re-pin everything together to fix what was wrong). Just after this, Sister decides she HAS to have a place of her own, and moves across the water 2.5 hours away from Mum. However, she continues to have to have Mum take care of her because she can't put her foot down for long periods of time (due to edema issues), and the 14 year old can't be bothered to help out around the house... SO - Mum packs up her stuff and spends about 85-90% of her time with Sister at the new place, having to neglect her own house and responsibilities because Sister can't find anyone else to spare Mum some time off.

Speed up to now, where Mum is still heading back and forth across the water, and Sister is STILL fighting to have her food fully heal - according to Sister, it's her boss's fault, because her boss is being punative and putting her into positions where she has to spend high amounts of time with her foot down, and can't make it to physical therapy like she should... According to Mum, Sister feels that her boss is totally doing this on purpose, and won't do anything to alleviate the situation. Mum said she most likely won't be able to make it down to the Bachelorette party OR the wedding shower, since Sister will need her help so much, due to the children being unwilling (15 year old) and unable (2 year old) to help out around the house.

My response to her? If you want to take the time off, then you should tell Sister that she needs to get someone to spare you for the time you'd like to have off... You aren't a slave, and there's a neat little invention that happened recently - it's called a Nanny. Have her get one. As far as the work situation goes, if Sister thinks that her boss is doing this on purpose, she has two choices: A. take it to the labor board along with her medical paperwork stating what she needs to do to recover properly, and own his ass AND the company, or B. suck it up and shut up, and quit complaining about how unfair he is.

Honestly, when my father died, her spine was completely taken away from her, and Sister takes full advantage of it. I've told Mum how I feel, but it doesn't seem to get through to her how upsetting it is to me to watch her being taken advantage of so much. She won't confront my sister, and won't change what's going on. I hate it. I hate the fact that I can't count on having my mother there with me for the really big stuff, because Sister can't get someone to help out and give Mum some necessary space. Ugh.

OK - I wasn't meaning to put all of that into a rant here, but I guess I sort of needed it... And now I'm a little better...

~M

And so it continues...

The sewing "death march" continues on. LOL. Poor Fred couldn't calmly deal with the kilts, so we've traded chores. He's cleaning the house in preparation of relatives invading, and I'm going to make the kilts. Frankly, I think I got the better end of the deal, because I've already made one kilt for him in the past - and I hate cleaning bathrooms. *chuckle*

I went to Costco with Lil yesterday, ordered the cake and got a good idea on an easy, inexpensive way to do the meat dish for the reception: pre-smoked whole salmon side for cheaper than fresh (which was what I was going to do and cure it myself)... Go figure.

I'll also pick up fruit as well, and that way have a little more in the way of summer munchies covered.

I'm hoping to have enough to set up for a massage for both me and Mom on the 22nd, the day before the wedding. It would be nice, as I'm starting to feel a little bit of stress on my right shoulder blade and lower back...

I'm not looking forward to this upcoming weekend - it will mean sleeping away from Fred Saturday night in order to get even 4 hours of sleep... I work Saturday night until 11:15, then have to be back to the office as of 7am for a "mandatory meeting". Then Sunday is the brunch at the Marriott, and then I go back to work at 2:45pm for another 8 hours of fun... Hopefully no one will call out on that graveyard shift, either, because I'm also on call Sunday night... Yay me.

While I'm gone, however, I'll have Fred do the rest of the cleaning that's needed, so there will only be little bits of tidying needed the week of the wedding. I figure if we do most of it now, there won't be quite so much to do later. At least, that's my theory. We'll see how it actually works out.

I have decided that the 17th will be my last day working OT for a while. I'm getting sort of burned out, and I don't need that when I'm carrying a baby and getting married. So, I'll look and see what happens after, and how I feel.

I have about 30 patterns I've found that I'm going to want to get, once Fabric Depot has their pattern sale again... LOL. Some of them are maternity clothes, a few are accessories, and the rest of the lot are baby clothes. I gotta say, there are some CUTE outfits that I'm dying to get sewing on...

So, other than that, not much else going on. I'm just hoping to have the sewing done in another week...

~M

Amazing...

Sometimes, I wonder about people. For instance, there was someone with whom I had been friends for 12 years... After a nasty breakup with the Ex-H, and the ensuing friction therein with the SCA household I'd been a part of (and honestly, helped build), I was summarily dumped out of said household - and out of the friendship as well.

Apparently said friendship wasn't as close as I had thought (I know, duh). It was, however firmly hammered in with the comment she made at the event Fred went to, when we found out we were pregnant... "Huh. I thought she never wanted to have children." Now, anyone who actually *knew* me, who paid attention, would have known that, while I started out at a young age not wanting children, as I got older I found that I did want them. I was no longer afraid of the responsibility and looked forward to the ability to pass along my knowledge to...

It's funny how sometimes, even after 12 years, apparently you just can't know a person if you don't want to try...

~M

Minor Update...

It's 22 days left, and I am heading out at some point in the next week to find better shoes. The ones I purchased simply weren't wide enough for me. However, they WERE wide enough, and fit perfectly, for Lil. SO - she's inheriting them from me, and I will find something that is more cushy to my toes.

Tomorrow *bright and early*, Lil will be picking me up and we'll head to Costco to do some shopping. I need to remember my list so I don't forget anything... I'm finding that I'm getting more and more done with the lists I make, so am starting to stick with them, as they seem to be working. LOL

I think we've picked out a name for the bean, though it's a tossup for the girls' names, since there are two that I like (though I'm leaning toward the first one):

Girl
Lauren Elizabeth Wilcox
Sharon Elizabeth Wilcox

Boy
Robert Alexander Wilcox

I figured we may as well have a boy's name picked out, just in case for the first time in world history Lil (and my personal feeling) is wrong. *chuckle* I tend to be cautious, what can I say?

Fred has finished doing the cuffs on the shirts. We started working on the kilt, but the instructions are just bass-ackwards, so we're going to do it the "old-fashioned" way, I think, and measure it out from mid-back out, and pleat from there.

We got a beautiful card from Fred's grandparents, which included a small gift that was quite nice of them. I need to remember to send them a thank you card for it, as we weren't expecting anything other than the card.

I also need to figure out what's going to happen from the 9th to the 10th, as I'm working swing, then expected to be back here at 7 am for a meeting, then go to Brunch, then do swing again, and then am on call for grave... I'm thinking that, even though it may suck, I may simply bring blankets and sleep on the couch in the copy room for the night to avoid several things, not the least of which is paying for a cab, and not getting even 5 hours of sleep. I may not get much sleep here, but at least I won't be late to the meeting. If I do, though, I'm definitely bringing my blankie and a pillow.

In any case, not much else to tell... I'm working on getting everything ready for OHP, but there's a butt-ton of paperwork to fill out. It boggles the mind.

~M

Interesting Side Effects...

So far, I haven't had too much trouble with the bean. Granted, I'm only about 3-4 weeks along. My estimated due date is just in time for Fred's birthday in late Jan/early Feb.

Still, there are a few things that I've already noticed. My pants are fitting weird. Not so much as to LOOK weird, just that they feel weird. The thighs are actually getting a little loose, while the waist and hips are tightening just a little bit - not much, like I said - just enough to notice... It's like the water weight gain prior to a period. Not really anything major, just vaguely wrong.

Chocolate seems to not like me much. In fact, I'm not really into much in the way of sweet solids lately. If I want sweet, I want it in liquid form... Much more interested in the salty/spicy snacks.

Speaking of food, I'm not really interested in it. I'm trying to eat breakfast and lunch, but I think I've only consumed about 1300 calories today so far... Granted, no dinner, but it was breakfast, lunch, and snacks... I normally have about 2000 calories, sometimes a bit more.

I am eating, I'm just not that interested. So, I eat until I feel full - normally about a 1/2 cup to a cup of whatever, then put the rest away for later. Sometimes I'll eat more later, sometimes I won't. I'm finding that I'm feeling better if I do the little itty bitty meals - otherwise I feel sick to my stomach.

The downside of all of this is, in order to comply with the doctor's request, I've had to cut out my caffeine consumption. I haven't had any in over 36 hours, which most likely explains the headache I haven't been able to shake for the last 8 hours. I took two excedrin (I know, it has caffeine in it, but hardly enough to worry about), and my head seems to be better.

The only big thing I'm really worried about at this point is the weather vs. my clothing... I don't have much to wear that's summer-y, that will work for "maternity" stuff... The only place that sells maternity wear in my sizes are Lane Bryant (lack of choices there), and JC Penny (nice stuff, need to get money to purchase it).

So - if any of my dear readers are in the local area, and have either light-weight fabric or maternity stuff in a 2x to 3x size, please let me know. I will arrange a time to pick it up and take it off your hands. :-)

~M

A thousand words...

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words... That is quite possibly true. I've been feeling rather berift of words, lately. Perhaps it's because of what I found out this weekend.

You see, I began to feel just... well... not quite right. It wasn't anything in specific, but I knew that something was going on.

I figured, on a lark, to take a home pregnancy test, to see what I could see... Knowing full well in my heart that it was most likely in my head, and as soon as I did it, I would see that I wasn't, and everything would be back to normal.

I got up early in the morning Saturday, after Fred had left to the event, and took one...



I wasn't sure what I was seeing, so I had to look at it from a different angle. My brain, such as it was after only a few hours of sleep (and bad sleep, at that) wasn't allowing me to compute what I saw.



Indeed, I did finally have a brain s'plody and it all made sense at that point... I sent picture messages to everyone that I knew of what I had seen, just to make sure that I wasn't reading anything incorrectly.

Of course, reading the information on my work website about pregnancy told me I should take another test a few days later, just to make sure nothing is malfunctioning. So, this morning I took another one.



That one looked about the same as the first, and I again had to look at it from another angle, just to make sure I was actually seeing what I thought I saw.



So, yes. The answer is, we are having a bean in about 8.5 months. I am calling the doc in the morning (as today is a holiday), and finding out all that I need to.

In the meanwhile, I'm taking pre-natals, children's chewable vitamins, and drinking lots of O.J. I don't seem to be sick, per se, but I will say that chocolate, as of last night, does NOT taste good... I hope it comes back. I love my chocolate.

~M

Interesting new development...

So, I have an interesting new development... I'm not going to say much here, at least not right now. However, I can tell you that I'd better get to Walgreens soon to get what I need...

~M

Buh Bye!

Fred is off this weekend to the first SCA event of our normal tourney season. The downside, I will not be able to tourney with him at all. This sucks total large green donkey dicks, and I'm not happy about it. However, I am dealing with it, if nothing else. Got really good and pounced last night, so that helps.

I get Speedboy for the weekend while Fred's away, as we had to spend cash on replacing a window that he broke - so we didn't have enough to take him with. This will be interesting, as I work late weekends.

Work is progressing along. I was taken aside yesterday and told by my trainer that some people have complained about me at the call center, saying that I wasn't receptive to their suggestions. I have NO idea what she's talking about, and the trainer was confused as well. The only people I can think of that HAVE given me advice or suggestions I've given a full thank you on - other than one person, who drives me batshit. She is also the one that ended up getting me pissed yesterday - first for having a really condescending tone in her voice when she told me something, and then for coming up and bumping me out of OT (union shop, people with more time in can do that). This is the same woman who, when asked for the last month to do ANY OT, she said no, because she didn't want to do it... Now she decides to do it, and it's ONLY on days that I signed up for, and ONLY for those times... Things that make you go hmmmmmm.

In any case, I like my trainer - so I told her that I would be more aware of my actions over the next week and see what was going on. We'll see whether things get better or not... If not, it won't be me, I can assure you.

One other thing about work - we have a resident pidgeon. I'm serious. He/she/it perched on the window outside my desk, and was there all day, from 7 am til I left... It will be interesting to see if it's still there tomorrow...

~M

A Meme? Wow...

Lil did this, and I thought it would be fun to go through it myself... I *did* add one or two authors, because I didn't "enjoy" a lot of what my 11th grade English teacher would have called "The Classics" (she is, I am sure, having heart palpitations as I type - the horror!).

Using the list below the cut, bold all the titles that you’ve read. If you’ve read other titles by the same author, add them under that author.

Delete nothing! Play along, and leave a comment to let me know you did so I can check out your list.

My list:


The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
Angels and Demons

Emma (Jane Austen)
Pride and Prejudice
Sense and Sensibility

To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)

Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (J. R. R. Tolkien)
LOTR: The Two Towers
LOTR: The Return of the King
The Hobbit
The Silmarillion
The Book Of Lost Tales Vols. 1 & 2
Unfinished Tales

Anne of Green Gables (L. M. Montgomery)
Anne of Avonlea
Anne of the Island

Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
Dragonfly in Amber
Voyager
Drums of Autumn
The Fiery Cross
A Breath of Snow and Ashes
Lord John and the Private Matter

A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (J. K. Rowling)
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
The World According To Garp
The Hotel New Hampshire

Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)

Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)

The Stand (Stephen King)
Salem’s Lot
Night Shift
The Dead Zone
Firestarter
Cujo
Different Seasons
Christine
Skeleton Crew
The Green Mile
Hearts in Atlantis
Dreamcatcher
From a Buick 8
Misery
Desperation
Insomnia
Pet Sematary
The Tommyknockers
Gerald’s Game
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon
The Langoliers
Needful Things
Thinner
The Dark Half

Jane Eyre (Charlotte Brontë)

The Catcher in the Rye (J. D. Salinger)

Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
Little Men

The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)

The Life of Pi (Yann Martel)

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Life, the Universe and Everything
So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish
Mostly Harmless
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency
The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë)

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
Prince Caspian
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
The Silver Chair
The Horse and His Boy
The Magician’s Nephew
The Last Battle
Out of the Silent Planet
Perelandra
That Hideous Strength
The Screwtape Letters

East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
Of Mice And Men
The Grapes of Wrath
The Red Pony
Tortilla Flat
The Pearl
Cannery Row

Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Dune (Frank Herbert)
Dune Messiah
Children of Dune
God Emperor of Dune
Heretics of Dune
Chapterhouse: Dune
The Dragon in the Sea
The Santaroga Barrier
The Dosadi Experiment
The Jesus Incident
The White Plague
The Lazarus Effect

The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)

Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
The Fountainhead
We the Living
Anthem

1984 (George Orwell)
Animal Farm

The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
Lady of Avalon
Priestess of Avalon
The Forest House
Falcons of Narabedla
The Door Through Space
The Colors Of Space
Survey Ship
Warrior Woman
The Planet Savers
The Sword of Aldones
The Bloody Sun
Star of Danger
Winds of Darkover
World Wreckers
Darkover Landfall
The Spell Sword
The Heritage of Hastur
The Shattered Chain
The Forbidden Tower
Stormqueen!
Two To Conquer
Sharra’s Exile
Hawkmistress!
Thendara House
City of Sorcery
The Heirs of Hammerfell
Rediscovery
Exile’s Song
The Shadow Matrix
Traitor’s Sun
The Fall of Neskaya
Glenraven


The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
Eye of the Needle
The Key to Rebecca
On Wings of Eagles
Lie Down with Lions
Night Over Water

The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)

I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
She’s Come Undone

The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)

The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)

The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
The Valley of Horses
The Mammoth Hunters
The Plains of Passage
The Shelters of Stone

The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)

Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)

The Bible
The Koran
The Torah
The Book of Latter Day Saints

Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)
War and Peace

The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
The Three Musketeers
Twenty Years After
The Vicomte of Bragelonne aka The Man In The Iron Mask

Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)

The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)

A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens)
Great Expectations
Oliver Twist
Nicholas Nickleby
A Christmas Carol
David Copperfield

Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
Speaker for the Dead
Xenocide
Children of the Mind
Ender’s Shadow
Shadow of the Hegemon
First Meetings
Empire
Red Prophet
Alvin Journeyman
A Planet Called Treason
Lost Boys

The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)

The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
Tim

The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)

The Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)

Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)

Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
The Vampire Lestat
The Queen of the Damned
The Tale of the Body Thief
Memnoch the Devil
The Vampire Armand
The Witching Hour
Lasher
The Mummy, or Ramses the Damned
Servant of the Bones
Exit to Eden

Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)

Love in the Time of Cholera (Gabriel Garcia Márquez)

One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares)
The Second Summer of the Sisterhood
Girls in Pants: The Third Summer of the Sisterhood

Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)

Les Miserables (Victor Hugo)

The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)

Bridget Jones’s Diary (Helen Fielding)

Shogun (James Clavell)
King Rat
Tai-Pan
Noble House
Whirlwind
Gai-Jin

The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
In The Skin Of A Lion

The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
A Little Princess
Sara Crewe

The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)

The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)

Charlotte’s Web (E. B. White)
Stuart Little
The Elements of Style

Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)

Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)

Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)

Good Omens (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman)
Thud (Terry Pratchett)
A Hat Full of Sky
The Wee Free Men
Going Postal
Where's My Cow
The Last Continent
Monstrous Regiment
Jingo
Maskerade
Feet of Clay
Interesting Times
Hogfather
Night Watch
Men At Arms
Soul Music
Lords and Ladies
Small Gods
Reaper Man
Witches Abroad
Thief of Time
Eric
Moving Pictures
The Truth
Guards! Guards!
Pyramids
The Fifth Elephant
Mort
Sourcery
Wyrd Sisters
Carpe Jugulum
Equal Rites
The Color of Magic
The Light Fantastic
Johnny and the Bomb
The Art of Discworld
Wintersmith
Only You Can Save Mankind
Johnny and the Dead
The Bromeliad Trilogy
The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
The Last Hero

Swan Song (Robert McCammon)

Watership Down (Richard Adams)

Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)

The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)

Blindness (Jose Saramago)

Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)

Lord of the Flies (William Golding)

The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)

The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)

The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
The Matarese Countdown
The Road to Omaha
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Bourne Supremacy
The Aquitaine Progression
The Parsifal Mosaic
The Matarese Circle
The Holcroft Covenant
The Chancellor Manuscript
The Gemini Contenders
The Road to Gandolfo
The Rhinemann Exchange
The Matlock Paper
The Osterman Weekend
The Scarlatti Inheritance

The Outsiders (S. E. Hinton)
That Was Then, This Is Now
Rumble Fish
Tex

White Oleander (Janet Fitch)

A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)

The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)

Ulysses (James Joyce)

The Past Through Tomorrow (Robert A. Heinlein)
Expanded Universe
Requiem
Grumbles from the Grave
For Us, the Living
Sixth Column
Beyond This Horizon
The Puppet Masters
The Rolling Stones
The Star Beast
Citizen of the Galaxy
Starship Troopers
Stranger in a Strange Land
Podkayne of Mars
Glory Road
Farnham’s Freehold
The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
Time Enough for Love
Friday
Job: A Comedy of Justice
The Cat Who Walks Through Walls
To Sail Beyond the Sunset

The Girl Who Heard Dragons (Anne McCaffrey)
The Ship who Sang
Partnership
The ship who Searched
The Ship who Won
Crystal Singer
Killashandra
Crystal Line
The Chronicles of Pern: First Fall
Dragonsdawn
The Renegades of Pern
The Masterharper of Pern
The Skies of Pern
Dragon's Kin
Dragonflight
The White Dragon
Dragonquest
Dragonson
Dragonsinger
Dragondrums
Dragonriders of Pern
On Dragonwings

~M

1 month and counting...

One more month and I will be getting the final prep done for the wedding... I am starting to freak out at this point because of financial issues. Things are just not *quite* gelling together as I would like them to.

I still need to get trim, elastic and tape - that will be tomorrow... along with heading to PetSmart, Owajimaya and WinCo for other shopping...

I just ordered my shoes, but I have no idea if the girls have ordered theirs. I am having to get the marriage license as of June 1, since I can't seem to get enough money at this point to pick it up sooner... Fred's finances are still not cleared up at work, so we are still a little short. *sigh*

Work, on the other hand, seems to be going fairly well. We had an upset in the staff earlier in the week. The pocket boss (tm) is gone, so we are really short-handed on the phones still and now our boss is also short-handed. I'm going to do as much OT between now and the wedding as I can, so that I can have extra cash, not to mention helping out on the phones.

I'm getting better with everything there, but it's slow going. It's not a job that you can learn in 6 weeks and then be fully comfortable with. I am going to be learning more and more each day I come in, and I was told by one of the gals who has been here 20 years that she's STILL learning stuff... Things change, so you can't get used to how they "were".

Anyway, time for me to sign on and get to work. Thank heavens tomorrow and Tuesday I have off. Time to recover and do stuff at home I'm supposed to be.

~M

Alone...

So, this is the first week that I'm technically without my umbilical cord hooked up at work. I am on my own, with a mentor by me, and am doing pretty well with everything so far. Of course, I'm sure, now that I've said this, todays calls will be the most bizarre, odd calls known to the call center. Yay me.

I saw Lil yesterday. She's in her first week of training here, so we aren't working at the same time. Most of us don't work the same time, since there's so few of us, but the call center is open 24/7. I gave her the necklaces that I made for her and Jordan for the wedding. They're in a gold setting, which I know isn't her favorite, but it's going to look fabu with the dresses, so there's that...

In other news... speaking of dresses - I have most of the sewing done on all the dresses now. I need hems done, lacings done, and trim sewn on, and then I'll be completely done. My plan is for everything to be complete by the end of May. Yay me. Though, I'm going to need help with my dress, because pinning things onto the dress while I'm in the dress (specifically on the BACK of the dress) is not my forte. I just can't bend that way.

I still need to shop for shoes, which I'll probably do at the beginning of June. I'm still begging people at work to take my Friday off. I found a taker for Thursday, but not Friday - so, I'm asking the part-timer if it would be cool. He's been muttering that he needs more hours, so perhaps it'll be a bonus for him...

Anyway, it's about that time, so...

Ta!

~M

Brown-bagging it...

Every so often, I end up having my brain heading one way, and the conversation another. I won't even notice until after I've piped up with whatever my brain wanted me to say - often to the chagrin of both myself and the amusement of others.

For instance, the other night, I wanted to make something to use up the rest of the black beans I had made a few nights earlier. I settled on a spicy stewed pork cassarole, with beans and rice. Quite tasty, especially over fresh-made tortilla chips.

Fred had mentioned afterwards that he was going to have to brown-bag his lunches until his next paycheck. We were sitting discussing lunches, dinners, and the success of yet another of my meals, relaxing in front of the telly.

Suddenly, Fred lets one loose - and I mean, it's a loud one. I am used to it by now, and don't think anything of it. However, apparently my brain is still stuck on him brown-bagging his lunches, and I somehow think that he might want to take the rest of dinner with him to work the next day. Without warning, I pipe up with...

"So, you wanna brown bag that and take it with you for lunch tomorrow?"

Fred pauses, then busts out laughing. I suddenly realize what it was that I said, and in what context it was taken...

I can't breath. Tears are leaking out of my eyes, and my face is red. My stomach and sides hurt. I am slumped over on the couch, and unable to do anything.

Fred is faring any better, since he's reacting to my laughing fits. Then I start responding to his... The cycle continues on for about 10 minutes, with the two of us ending up still getting the giggles for several hours later.

I still hurt... and it's still funny.

~M

Reflections...

I just finished watching most of "Living With Cancer", Ted Koppel's journey with his friend, a high-profile journalist who was diagnosed in 2005 with a brain tumor, lung cancer, and spinal tumors. As of March 13th, 2007, after more than a year of chemo, and then radiation when that didn't work, he found himself without any of the tumors because of a new therapy treatment that actually inscinerates the tumors where they are. They'd gotten rid of the brain tumor, and the spine tumor - but the lung tumors were more aggressive, and eventually grew despite the treatments given. So, he went to John Hopkins university where they treated him with this new form of surgery.

Because of where the tumors were placed, and how the treatment worked, it was relatively non-invasive, and he was awake through the whole procedure. He is not, however, cancer-free. It was interesting to hear all of this, and the other different stories of cancer survivors - both those with current cases and those in remission.

For those who may not know, who may be new to this blog, I live in fear of being diagnosed with cancer. It runs on both sides of my family, my grandmother dying from terminal cancer after a double radical mastectomy, and my father dying from complications of terminal cancer after removal procedures failed to successfully erase the traces of colon cancer he had.

I never really knew my grandmother. I remember meeting her once, when I was 10. My mother was adopted, and it took most of the 10 years I was first around to find her. When we did, it was really too late to forge a strong bond between all of us. She was diagnosed with cancer at 41, and by 62, when we met her, she was wheelchair-bound, and on a constant morphine drip for the pain. The tumors had spread even after the surgery, and had entangled in through her spinal cord, making further surgical removals too dangerous to attempt. She didn't have the money for chemotherapy, which at the time, was not covered by many insurance companies due to the risks involved. It was 1984, and the first time cancer touched my life. I didn't understand it. I can honestly say I still don't.

It was 1991 when cancer struck my family again. This time, it didn't seem too bad. My father, who never went to the doctor unless my mother drove him - not even to yearly exams - went in to find out why he had a scaly patch on his arm. It was karatosis - a skin melanoma, easily treated by simply removing the skin from the area and making sure that in the future, sunscreen was used properly. He used to joke that he'd eaten too many carrots, which was why he'd gotten it.

I graduated, went to college, and did the normal things that most teens do when they leave the nest - I didn't go back to visit as often as I might have. I had a car, I had no real excuse... I just could never find the time. Something else was always happening. I spent the first two months going back and forth between my dorm and my parents' home, a five-hour drive one way. But eventually the homesickness went away, and the phone calls sufficed. I started dating, and it was in January of 1993 that I found out Dad had been diagnosed with colon cancer and was in the hospital for a removal procedure of the polyps.

We were told that they'd gotten it all. We were told that the prognosis was good, and that he was on his way to recovery - at least, that was the information that Mom passed on to me. I was upset, scared, but I didn't go see him. I don't know why, I just didn't. I suppose I thought that he was still invincible, just like he had been when I was a kid.

They came down in May, to drop off a tent for me and say hello. I remember seeing him and yet not seeing him. He seemed out of focus, and in my mind, I don't remember hugging him at all, or even holding his hand, or kissing his cheek. I remember he was a little tired, and had lost a bit of weight, but I thought it was just the drive.

I spent the summer in the town I was going to school in, renting a house and working. I look back now and wonder if I shouldn't have gone up and spent the time with my father instead. I met a boy, fell in lust, spent the summer hazy with it, and was wrapped up with my own life so much that I didn't realize what was going on until Thanksgiving when I brought the boy up with me to visit the family and meet my parents.

I remember being very upset because the person who sat at the end of the table couldn't have been my father. He'd lost a good 60 pounds, and looked almost gaunt. My mother admitted she hadn't told me that his t-cell count had gone back up, and they'd had to put him on chemo. His most recent treatment had been 3 days before Thanksgiving, so he wasn't feeling well. He went to bed early, and I honestly don't remember seeing him after that, not even when we said goodbye and headed back down south to school.

It was to be the last time I saw him. I was in touch with Mom every week from that point on, calling or writing to find out what was going on. Mom was very optimistic, but I think it was mostly because she couldn't bear to deal with the idea that he would die. I remember three weeks before our birthday, I called and found out that Dad's t-cell count had skyrocketed. Mom was completely hysterical because she couldn't reach my brother. I asked how long the doc had given him, and she said anywhere from three weeks to three months. I promised I would call my brother, and I'd be up after mid-terms in two weeks.

I called my brother, and by some stroke of fate or luck, managed to reach him the first try. I told him what was going on and said he'd better just pack up the kids and go that day if possible to say goodbye. I knew, even then, that it was the end. Even so, I thought I would have time to deal with the things I needed to, so that I could get up there to say goodbye.

I called my mother the next week, and it was then that I found that my father had passed away. Not from the cancer, after all, but instead from pneumonia. He'd been in the doctor's office the week before and there'd been a bunch of people in for it. Because the chemo and radiation had weakened his immune system, he'd caught it and it went rampaging through him. He never stood a chance.

I don't remember much of the 48 hours after that. I remember images of driving up to my boyfriend's house, and then of him driving me to my parents. I remember my mother, worn, crying constantly, the house smelling funny... I remember staying in the apartment above his workshop and smelling sawdust and "Old Spice" - what my dad always smelled of. I remember not crying at all while I was with my mother, but breaking down when I was alone.

I went to therapy about this a few years ago, and have managed to get to a point where I've forgiven myself for not making it before my father passed away. I have a feeling he didn't want me to remember him emaciated or tired, or weary. He wanted me to remember him as he had been all my life - strong and steady.

I can't say that I'm a cancer survivor - I'm not. But I can say that cancer has touched my life. I live in fear of having an annual exam and finding something "not quite right" with the exam. I recently spoke with my doctor, who has told me I should have a colonoscopy by age 40, since my father had colon cancer. My first thought was "but that's for MEN". It's not - neither is breast cancer detection "just" for women. Cancer is cancer, and it doesn't care who you are, how much money you have, whether you're pregnant or finished having children. It doesn't care if you're gay, black, pink with purple polka-dots. It just cares that it has a host. And that's the scary part...

~M

Slightly ill...

I'm feeling slightly ill today. I've had an on-again, off-again sinus issue of late, and today it was just too much for me. Had a temp of 99.5, and was feeling vomitous, so I called in. I didn't want to, and I have to say I'm kicking myself for doing it. But, there it is. My first day absent. Suckage. I can only hope that with copious amounts of water, hot tea, sinus medication, and sleep, I will feel better and it will go away so I won't have to miss any MORE work from it. I hate chronic sinusitis.

I'm still having the BBQ today, regardless. I can have Fred down at the grill and actually working. Most of what I have to do today is very minimal, and involves pointing while my two guys "tote that barge and haul that sail" type thing. LOL. I adore them. When I'm sick, they pamper me to the ends of the earth. A girl could get used to it.

~M

Announcing the Cinco De Mayo BBQ event!

I'm holding a Cinco de Mayo BBQ at my house. It is, fairly obviously, going to be on May 5th, at 6:30 pm. Everyone invited, BYOB.

I'm contributing Carne Asado steak, marinated for 24 hours, and then slapped on the grill. I'm also going to make home-made re-fried beans and a bunch of rice.

If you'd like to contribute, please do so. Chicken and side dishes are welcome, and they don't have to be tex-mex to join in the fun.

This is also the LAST time I will have the ability to have a BBQ on the weekend. SO - if you want to hang out, and you'd like really good tex-mex cooking for cheap, come on over!

~M

Falling out!

My eyeballs, that is. They feel dry, gritty, and altogether yucky after the last 48 hours. Ugh. even after putting eye drops in them last night and again this morning, I feel like they're about ready to pack up and leave - and I doubt that I'd miss them that much for all the trouble they're giving me.

The photo shoot went well. 3 hours of figuring out lighting, positions, clothing, and fighting with the sun, for probably about 100 pics tops. I'm glad they came, though. I saw the photos and they were really nice. I ended up taking a quick 1.5 hour nap before they arrived, and then putting on make-up (I had enough baggage under my eyes for a trip to Havana for a month!). Changed clothing once during the shoot, and didn't do anything special with my hair at all (which turned out to be fine, as it showed how healthy and shiny it was in the photos - for once).

Afterwards, I did 2 loads of laundry, and lounged the rest of the day as I was still exhausted from being up all night for graveyard. I didn't dare go to sleep for anything more than what I already had, however, since I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep once nightfall came if I did.

I *did* end up getting another hour nap later, though. I blame it soley on the cat... She decided to curl up on my shoulder and purr at me all afternoon - so, I ended up scootching down into the couch and eventually sleeping with my head propped up on her back. I got a pic just before I fell completely asleep...



This morning I had to finally nip Speeboy's bathing habits in the butt. He spends 15 minutes in the shower, and then another half hour in the bathroom, doing gods knows what (and I don't wanna know, believe me). However, this means that, as he's barricaded himself into the bathroom, Shady can't get to her box. She ended up peeing on Fred's clothing this morning when she couldn't get in... So - that necessitated pointing out to him (yet again) that he simply needs to get in, get clean, and get OUT. I don't think he'll do it again this week, but I'm pretty sure that this will change in a few days, once he's not reminded of it again.

Other than that, nothing new in my life. Plenty new in other people's lives. Lil has gotten a job at my office, so in 2 weeks, we'll be back working together. Bwa ha ha ha! Actually, the job is pretty well tailored for people like her and me - it involves a lot of intuitive thinking and following through from point A to point D, utilizing common sense to get through points B and C rather than simply skipping over them. It also helps people without getting majorly technical, which I like.

I am starting on the cutting of my dress. I'm starting with the under-dress first, and then heading from there to the over-dress. I'm sort of nervous, as the pattern only has enlargement instructions for going up and down, not for expanding around, but I think I have a plan on how to deal with it that will not make it look too terrible.

Next paycheck I should be able to pick up the fabric for the kilts (hoping that I find said fabric somewhere in town), and the paycheck after that will be for the trim for the shirts and the dresses. I'm back behind schedule, but it shouldn't be too terribly difficult to bring myself back up to speed, since next week I'll have 2 days off in a row.

I'm thinking of having a get-together on Memorial Day, as I won't be working, but won't be able to be at the event that weekend, either. I have a pasta maker, and I'm not afraid to use it, darn it! So - if you're interested in having fresh, home-made pasta, and have a hankering for bringing your favorite pasta sauce with you, let me know and we'll plan to have it on that day at my apartment - besides, it'll give me an excuse for cleaning the house. LOL.

~M

So glad it's over...

I only have 3 hours and 15 minutes left of grave, and I'll be rid of it until I'm up for the on-call. I'm glad of it, too. At the risk of oversharing, my gut is *oh-so-not-happy* with me. That's all I will say on the issue, besides ugh.

I have a photographer coming by in the morning to the house to take pictures of me for the BusinessWeek article. I have to remember to bug Ben about when it'll be published, so I can pick up a copy. I'm none-too-pleased with the time, but it's not something I can really change, as the other times he's available, I'm at work. So, it's this morning or nothing. I *might* take a nap after he leaves - not sure. If I do, I'm going to have to remember to only take a 2 hour one, so I can sleep tonight.

Fred is equally glad for me to be off graveyard. He worries about me being downtown at night without weaponry (or him... but I repeat myself. LOL), and neither of us like sleeping alone. As he puts it, he keeps rolling around the bed looking for his speed bump. *chuckle*

I have to remember to do laundry tomorrow as well. Figure, since I'm up, and since I need it, I may as well take advantage of the fact that I'm up, and I need laundry done. Yippee.

My life is so exciting.

~M

On the Night Shift...

So, tonight and tomorrow night I get to work the night shift at my job. This inof itself wouldn't be so bad, but for the fact that neither Fred nor I are used to sleeping alone. He was a zombie all day today after tossing and turning all night. I ended up moving to the couch through the day because the bed was too big. Urgh.

The good news is that I will be meeting up with Mishu for breakfast in the morning, and then head home for a day's sleep. Then Wednesday I'll have the day off to try and swap everything back around, and then back to swing again on Thursday.

I'm so hoping I never have to do the grave shift... I just don't do well swapping around my sleep schedules like this. My tummy doesn't like it, and neither does my cat. LOL.

~M

TYCTW Day...

It's "Take Your Child To Work" Day on Friday for many of the Public Schools in our area (Not Speedboy's - but then, it's difficult to get them to look outside the window, much less the school grounds).

Anxiety will be joining me on Friday for a "day in the life of", which isn't really, but there you go. I work with a lot of sensitive materials which are covered by law to NOT be exposed to anyone other than those of us in the call center. So - my boss is currently working on a plan for me to do things that are not necessarily work-related from 10:30 until noon, when we head up the hill to the rest of the Hospital area. At that point, we will do a scavenger hunt for things and places up on the hill. Should be interesting, as it's pretty well a town all on its own up there. Then, at 2:30 or 3, we'll come back down, and at 4pm, Anxiety will be whisked away once more by her mum, Lil.

I'm actually looking forward to spending the day with Anxiety. She's a neat kid, and SO smart it scares me at times. I think she's smarter than I am, a lot of the time. LOL. I'm also going to take advantage of the fact that she's here, and I'm going to bring the top half of the dress pattern for her and fit it to her prior to work. Bwa ha ha ha - she won't be able to escape this time!

Anyway, it's about time to think about work.

~M

Pubi- er, I mean, Public Transporation Woes...

One of the great things about my job is getting a RADICALLY reduced all-zone yearly pass. One of the bad things about my bus route is that it only has ONE freakin' bus that runs anywhere NEAR my house.

The local bus system somehow figured it would be a grand idea to run one bus next to my house, once per hour after 9 am on weekdays and Saturdays, and not even START running the bus until 7:30 am on Sundays. Why? We have no clue - neither does the bus system - it just *is*.

In addition, we have the few, the proud, the nincompoops who have, for one reason or another, a phobia about pulling near the curb to allow access to the bus. And I don't mean a foot - I'm talking stopping the bus no less than 5 feet away from the sidewalk, and having you walk across the bike lane (that has been unoccupied through the 10 minutes it's taken for the driver to get there and stop), then get into a bus that has the first step over 1.5 feet up from the ground. Yeah - cuz those of us card-carrying members of the lard-butt clan can really get up there without struggling. And what if someone had a wheelchair, or cane, or crutches? Would they simply have to wait for the next bus? Gah.

The good news is that most days I can avoid the one driver who stops so far from the curb - I get into work a good hour early, but it does allow me to relax, read emails, and do updates in a quiet room here - and not worry about missing my last chance to get to work on time. The bad news is that on Sundays, if I have to be here at 7:30 in the morning, I'd better be prepared to get a cab to my apartment by no later than 6am so I can catch the MAX downtown and make it into work on time. *sigh*

So far, there's only been a small downside for me, which is the Sunday thing and the hourly run thing. I'd love for them to run more of my bus down my road. I don't see the issue most days, as it goes from downtown (a fairly populated place even at night), over to Washington Square (also a fairly populated place, even at night). Why not help out a bit, eh? I hate having to wait practically an hour in the evenings for a bus to get to my stop so I can go home. I'm not scared, just annoyed and, lately, cold.

On the upshot, I'm working, so that means that as we get further into summer, there will be more and more money coming in. This is a Good Thing. So, can't complain too much. Oh, and I like my job, too - which is also a Good Thing.

Thankfully, it's looking like today we actually HAVE people on the phones, which means that we will actually be doing some real training, rather than doing confirmation calls all day. Yay us! Tomorrow we do some sort of scavenger hunt up on the hill - should be interesting. Need to remember to bring my backpack so I can take my lunch with me, as I have a whole whopping $0.39 in the bank.

I'm glad that Friday we get paid.

~M

New schedule - at least for this week.

One of the good things about my job this week is that I get to sleep in a bit. The bad part is that I won't be home until around 9pm, which means that I won't get a lot of time this week with either of my boys. *sigh*

However, I did do my best yesterday to make sure that they weren't completely left to their own devices, and would have stuffs to eat. I made lasagne bake for tonight, and chicken enchiladas for Wednesday night (possibly Thursday, we're not sure). Either way, it means that Fred only has to worry about cooking once or twice this week, and the rest of the time there will be food a-plenty to go for. I even put instructions on the pan as to how to cook it, so he can just throw it from fridge to oven. Yay me!

Got to spend Saturday with Lil and Lyse this weekend. Fred and I headed over to Lil's place Saturday morning and we then went from there to Fabric Depot to pick up the remaining portion of the fabric needed for the dresses. Didn't find the tartan that Fred needs to make the kilts, so I'll be looking for that and picking it up on my paycheck - either this one or the next one at the beginning of May.

Then we went back to Lil's house, ended up picking up Lyse, and we all trooped over to WinCo and went shopping. Fred purchased beef short ribs for me, and I made braised beef ribs in ragout sauce - delish! Then we all trooped over to our apartment, I got a copy of the ceremony for Lil to look over, and Lil and Lyse went home.

It's about as exciting a weekend as I can handle, at this point. LOL. Though, this upcoming weekend should be equally exciting, as we are taking Speedboy out for his birthday dinner, and then possibly to WunderLand arcade.

Wheee!

~M

Update...

OK - so - update on my life...

The job: It's really cool. I'm sure I will find aspects of it that I won't like, but for now, I honestly can say that it doesn't suck. This is a Good Thing, as I've been through my share of sucktacular jobs in my life, and am tired of working *only* for the bennies.

The Wedding: Sort of on schedule. There are a few things I *really* need to work on RIGHT NO, so will be doing that this weekend. The rest of the fabric is being picked up this weekend, and Fred has graciously agreed to make the kilts for himself and speedboy, which will make things easier for me. We still have a few people we need to get invites to, and quite a number of RSVP's that haven't come back - not sure what's going on, there.

The Money: It's getting better. Between Vlad and Ana, we got groceries in the house and will be able to have breathing room until my first check arrives. Yay!

Other Points: I'm being interviewed by "Business Weekly" for the Sallie Mae issues. I'll be going into that more in-depth at the other blog this weekend.

Other than that, it's about the same. We've gotten the school to test for Autism in Speedboy - they didn't think it was necessary, but then - they don't feel it's necessary to hold him back, either. Bleh.

~M

Quick Update!

Just a *really* quick update at this point. NO time at all to do it this week, or you'd hear of my adventures through the 2nd week of work.

The food situation has resolved itself, with the welcome assistance of Vlad, who paid for a shirt I made for him for the wedding, and Speedboy's mom, who sent us the monthly support check early. Both contributions helped IMMENSELY, and we now have food in the house.

I swear, there is more, I just don't have time.

~M

Hoping...

So, I made a rather stupid mistake, and because of it, we are not going to be able to afford food for 3 weeks... If it were just me, I'd suck it up and deal, sell my books, get enough to pick up top ramen, beans and rice, and that would be that.

But it's not just me. I now have a family, and because I wasn't thinking beyond myself and my selfishness, I have managed to mess them up as well. So, while I am going to be looking through my collection of books for saleable items, I have no doubt that it will not be enough to get enough food to last through the 20th.

So - with that in mind (not to mention with a lot of personal pride being swallowed), I'm asking for any help at all from anyone locally. If you have non-perishables, or a few bucks for perishables, it would be greatly appreciated. My first check from my new job will be on the 20th, and I will be able to get everything back together at that point.

~M

New day, new job...

So, today is the first day of my new job. I get to have a mere 20 minute commute instead of the hour-long hell each morning. I also get to have a different type of contact with the public than I'm used to - like 20 seconds for each call, tops. Brainless? Maybe - but on the other hand, I'm getting them to where they need to go, and/or reminding them of the appointments they have. Both of which are important for their health. So, still doing something to help people.

I spend today in 2 different orientations, then tomorrow through Friday doing outbound reminder calls. Then next week, my training begins. I'm excited.

Wish me luck!

~M