Spiraling...

I think I'm heading into a depression state... I'm not sure, but I don't really want to eat (though I will say I perk up with Rainier Cherries), I don't want to sleep, I don't want to DO anything... I just want to sit and be left alone. *sigh*

I'm not sure what's going on, but I know it's gotta be hormonal. I was fine yesterday. I was actually really excited yesterday when I was speaking with one of the potential Doula's I met with. She's a great person who, it turns out, knows Fred from FireJam. I have one other Doula to meet, though if I don't hear back from her soon, I'm just going to go with Tia at Inner Serenity. She's a registered nurse as well as a Doula, and is very practical-minded when speaking about the whole process. She was very down-to-earth, and not what I was expecting at all - pleasantly so.

I've put together my schedule for the next 2.5 weeks so that I can have a 4-day weekend, two days of which will be at the beach with Fred, Vlad and Mish. I'm hoping that it will snap me out of whatever funk I seem to be dropping into, and things will be better. I haven't been to the beach in a few years, and I think I need to dabble my feet in the water and recharge. It's going to be the closest that Fred and I will be getting to for a "honeymoon". Separate rooms for us, so we don't keep anyone up (theoretically speaking) while we have wild, weasel sex. LOL.

I just don't like feeling this way at all... Kind of like I wanna cry, wanna curl up and disappear, and not deal with anything or anyone at all. Ugh. It's just all too dramatic, and I hate that. Save the dramatics for the silver screen.

~M