Many people know I've been a member of the SCA for 16 years. I started back in 1993, at a local event called Egil's, held in Eugene, Oregon, and I was hooked from that point on.

If you've never heard of the SCA, here's a quick primer: The group was started in Berkeley, when a few friends decided to get together for a theme wedding - they had so much fun with it, they decided to start having a group get-together every month... It grew, and eventually (after more than 20 years) became international, reaching Russia, Japan, Austrailia even... It's a non-profit organization, which means that membership is tax-deductable, and it centers on learning about life as it was from 700 A.D. (or, for you history students C.E.) to 1600 A.D. While the SCA centers upon life within the European culture, many members learn about life outside of that location, though they do try to keep within the timeline.

All the SCA asks is that you, as a participant, make an **attempt** at looking the part. They have "Gold Key" at most sanctioned events, where you can trade your ID for garb for the weekend, or put a deposit on garb. They also have groups in the area that can help you design your clothes, teach you how to sew them, and there's a plethora of websites and books available to use for patterning. They'd love to have you join and pay the yearly membership fee as well, but it's not mandatory.

So why, if it's this simple to start up and enjoy, have there been non-sanctioned events popping up like ever-increasing alien crop circles? Has the SCA *really* become that horrible, that people have felt the need to leave and make their own place elsewhere?

The answer, at least in my neck of the woods, is two-fold... Much of the non-sanctioned events that were created 10 years ago in our little area were because of the high level of drama that had been increasing within events like Egil's. Drama is never enjoyable, no matter where you are - but when you include the stress of running an event for 1000 people, and add in sharp, pointy objects and alcohol, it becomes even more fun - or not...

The drama, in this case, was a combination of people who were running the event being more interested in micro-managing than making sure that those who went to the event had a good, safe time, AND those who went to the event wanting to make it into their own stage and had "LOOK AT ME" signs everywhere - never mind that they never did anything as such to assist in the running of the event (they were much too busy making sure that their own internal households were doing what they needed to in order to "entertain" the populace).

Either way, it wasn't fun for the rest of us, who were there to enjoy themselves, take a few classes, volunteer a few hours to help the event run smoothly, and perhaps join in at a Bardic or two. Thus was born the non-sanctioned event (that is, an event dedicated to the same types of things that the SCA was, but without the backing or insurance of the SCA)...

Don't get me wrong - I was not in love with the non-sanctioned event, I can only say that I understand the reasons behind creating one.

This year marked the 10th anniversary of the first non-sanctioned event in the area. It also marked, for me, the end of non-sanctioned events that I would be going to. See, while the first and second one apparently were a lot of fun, and not much drama at all, after a few years it became clear to me that it had an increasing amount of drama, and not as much fun for me.

I normally stay out of drama. I tend to help out where I can (namely gate and constab, occasionally heralding announcements), and make sure that if there's more help to be needed, I get the word out to get more people up to volunteer. When it comes into, or at least crouches in front of, my gate, I have issues with it. It stops me from having a good time. And if it stops *me* from having a good time, chances are, it's stopping others from having a good time, too.

While I always understood that this event was for pirate personas (the SCA tends to frown on them as most people tend to portray the most hollywoodized versions of them, with a lot of post-1600 accessories added on for good measure), I got tired of it fairly quickly. Why? No one could actually give an accurate depiction of a pirate - over half of them couldn't even give a definition of nautical terms! It may all be pretend, but wasn't the non-sanctioned event supposed to at least have the ideals of the SCA? Apparently not... The reasons for going to a non-sanctioned event were ever-increasing alcohol and parties, and decreasing information about the era.

I remember going to classes at a non-sanctioned event... They had the same three classes every year - the only ones I remember were "The history of female pirates" Interesting, yes, but a fairly short class - because there were only a handful of them at all - and only 2 or 3 of them prior to 1600 (sorry to be a stickler, but I could go as far as 1640 and still not find another one), AND "The history of courtesans", a really fascinating subject for me - but a lot of it dwelt upon movie representations of it because that's what people could grasp easily. I'm sorry, but courtesans did NOT go out into public during the day dressed like THAT - they'd have gotten stoned. Plain and simple. How do I know? I did research because for a time, that was my persona... Simple, easy to care for clothing for daytime work. The "good" stuff didn't come out until you were at a party, or were entertaining a guest.

I only went to one event this year - it was a non-sanctioned one. I know now that I'd been simply getting more and more fed up each year with the general attitude and lack of anything to do that interested me during the day, when I compared it to a sanctioned event from last year. I was done with non-sanctioned. I didn't have anything to do at all, besides wander merchant's row and listen to raids happening outside my encampment... To put it in short, I was bored.

The return of Fred from the other non-sanctioned event, a blatent pirate event, spurred me to keep from ever wanting to return to it... Steampunk (or Deadwood, or Wild West, or whatever you want to call it) has invaded the merchants, as well as the attendees. Really? REALLY?!?! Are you SERIOUS?! I think not. I'm no stickler about a lot of things, and I certainly won't upbraid anyone about their garb, as long as they make a reasonable attempt at looking the part for the weekend... But STEAMPUNK!!?!?!?! Sorry, but if you want to play "Wild, Wild West", then do it elsewhere... You can join your buddies with the fake elf ears, pan horns, and fangs. They don't belong here! GAH!

On top of that, the local law enforcement apparently came down because of a robbery at a previous campout (non-sca type) and wanted to see whether this event had had similar issues... While there, they apparently smelled certain... GREEN substances in the air. Folks - if you have to have an escape from your escape, you are an addict and need help. Seriously. Not only that, but it's ILLEGAL!!! I don't care what it is, I don't care that you're doing it in your own tent (which, btw, does NOT keep it inside, but carries it across the whole $%#$% campground - some people are allergic, others are small children, and still others just don't want it!), and I don't care about how you feel about the law. These people completely disregarded the fact that, had they wanted to be total asshats, the local law enforcement agents could have closed down the ENTIRE site at that point and forced people to pack up and leave in the dark. Stupid. Just plain stupid, selfish, ADDICTS!

So, with that said, I will not be joining in with any more non-sanctioned events. I am looking forward to next camping season (we're too poor this year for any more), wherein I can once more feel like I'm getting something besides a weekend of stress.

~M

Unemployed...

So, the final upshot of everything at work was that I got fired... Well, that's not quite true - they gave me the option to resign prior to being fired. Either way, I wouldn't get unenjoyment, as the reasons behind the firing were, apparently, justified.

Now both Fred and I are unemployed. Boo is overjoyed at having us both to herself, but the money has quickly fled, and I'm searching for work, so that I can have an income once more. Fred's hoping that he can get his 401K cashed out so we can at least get the rent paid next month, and possibly the month after that, too.

The good news is that everyone around here is supposedly hiring... The bad news is that there are even more people out of work than there are jobs, and the companies that really ARE hiring are getting to be quite picky about who they hire. They can claim anything they want (pretty much) in the advert, but they don't have to hire you just because you fit their advert. There's a lot of other people out there who are just as qualified, or more so, than you...

The mediocre news is that if worst comes to worst, we can move to Port Townsend and live on my mom's property until we get our feet under us. At least then, we wouldn't have to pay for rent... But, it's 500 miles from our friends and current job connections... A real pain to try and uproot everything and head up there... Not to mention the idea of how long it would take for us to get back to Portland... meh...

It's all been very stressful. I'm cooking - a lot... And I seem to have found a previously undiscovered niche that I'm rather surprised about. I'm good at wedding planning. I never knew that I was, and certainly didn't think about doing it. I rather enjoy it, honestly, which is odd, too... With Silky and David getting married next week, Fred and I have been working on their outfits, and I've been helping Silky make sure that all the things she wants to have happen, happen. Turns out, I have been able to find a lot of stuff that she wasn't able to find, and remember a lot of things that she wouldn't have been able to remember. So, perhaps that is something that I should look into as a side venue... Perhaps...

Meanwhile, I'm applying for at least 3 jobs per day. I'm hoping that if I do that, I can be employed fairly soon...

Wish me luck.

~M

Desperately in Need!!!

So, we aren't sure what happened, but our dear cat, Nibbler, has managed to injure himself rather badly.

There's been a stray cat around the complex for a while. The local animal control refuses to come out to catch it, citing that there are too many pets currently in their shelter, so they'll just capture him, neuter him, and release him back out here... Which won't help things at all.

About 4 days ago, Nibbler and this cat got into a fight on our porch (2nd floor balcony - the damned stray climbed up the bush next to it and decided to invite himself in). We don't know what exactly happened, as we were asleep - a neighbor alerted us to the fight after it happened.

All we know now is that he started favoring his right front paw. Then it moved to his back right paw. Now he's favoring both front and back, though the right front is worse, and the pain seems to be moving toward his ribs, too.

We cannot find a hot spot, a puffy area, or any outward sign of infection. All we know is that he's very much in pain, and we cannot afford to take him to the vet at this point.

Fred is out of work currently, and I'm due to lose my job in a week. We desperately need any help possible to assist us in making our dear kitty better.

If anyone out there is able to spare anything at all, or has animal veterinary training and is able to look at him, please let us know asap. It breaks our hearts to watch him struggle to even walk.

Thank you for anything you can give.

~M

Introspection...

Sometimes it takes me a while to get my brain wrapped around how good I have things... Sure, I'm in debt up to my eyeballs (and most likely will never get out), and there are times I really wish I could just up and quit my job (who doesn't?)...

Still and yet, this weekend I learned (finally) that sometimes, things happen for the best - no matter how hurtful they were at the time...

Fred, Boo and I went to an SCA event this weekend, and we camped near my old household. Turns out, while the ex was not there, his new wife was (the one who was the catalyst for us divorcing). Also, turns out she's now pregnant...

Even though we'd separated over 5 years ago, there was still a lot of harbored resentment and anger toward the both of them by me. I had never actually confronted either of them over the repeated deceit that occurred - not to mention the fact that I was summarily pushed out of my household because of my inability to "play nice" with them after the separation and divorce. It cost me a number of friendships, only one of which is barely getting back to being acquaintence level now.

So, here I was, taken completely unawares by said acquaintence coming up and saying that she was there, AND was pregnant. The ex had never wanted to have a child with me, until after I kicked him out - at which point he tried to use a sudden "change-of-heart" to lure me back.

I was considering staying in camp the whole weekend to avoid having an uncomfortable confrontation. I didn't want the stress, and the chasm of unknown loomed before me, attempting to swallow me whole. I didn't like the feeling of being helpless, but at the same time, didn't want to deal with the situation, either.

Saturday dawned, and I decided, after hearing from another of my campmates that I looked pretty good, I would go to merchant's row and peruse the goods. I put on my best clothes, and make-up, and walked out with my friend - and summarily found myself at the booth the ex's new bride was working at.

I have to say, I was more than civil to her. She showed me the 2 carat platinum wedding band he'd purchased for her, and told me she was pregnant... We talked for a bit about how she was, and she told me how well things were going for her and the ex. She told me that she'd turned him around 180 degrees from where he was when he was with me, and how he was thrilled to be with her and that she was pregnant. And I took it all in and considered.

I could have been mean. I could have been snide. I could have burst her bubble completely if I'd wanted to... People only change if they want to change - they can't be changed by anyone else... You can't "MAKE" someone change... I know - I'd tried with him for years, and it had never worked. But I considered everything that I'd been through from the get-go with him, through to that day, and all the anger, bitterness, rage and emptiness that I'd felt throughout my relationship with him - and afterwards as well... I looked back at how "unworthy" I'd felt since, obviously he had chosen to do all of these things with her, and not with me...

And then I looked at my relationship with Fred... And I realized I have never had to lie (or felt the need to lie) about how our relationship was to anyone - certainly not to myself. I never felt like I was lacking, I never felt worthless, or unnecessary, or somehow less of a person than I should be. I never felt second, and never felt like I needed to change him - or our relationship.

I have a beautiful daughter with him, that he loves, worships and adores - as much as he loves, worships and adores me... I have an amazing girlfriend who loves Boo, and adores both Fred and me. And while I may not have a lot of money, or a house, I have what matters...

So, I was able to honestly tell her that I wished her and him the best of luck in their relationship, and that I hoped that she got everything she wanted from it. I hoped that things continued on well with the both of them, and I wished her a healthy pregnancy and birth.

And I was able to walk away feeling lighter, better, and more in control of myself, my feelings, and my general attitude than I had been in years.

I have to say, it was an amazingly cathartic experience, and the introspection did me (not to mention, I'm sure, my own relationships) a world of good.

~M

On schools, grades, and your precious little snowflake

So, unless you don't have school-aged children, or don't have friends who have school-aged children, you wouldn't know about the increasing terror in the public education system about... da-da-da-DUM!!!

Letter Grades!!!!

Oooohh! I know - so scary. And yet, apparently, according to more and more school districts, letter grades are a horrible thing for our children to have to deal with...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,518101,00.html

According to many school psychiatrists now, your precious little snowflake can't handle the pressures of school and the possibility of a failing grade, so they've change how they're handling things, to allow for all children to be able to do as little as possible and still get passed through.

How? Well, changing over from letter grades to P for "pass" or H for "held" (where basically, they get a do-over without being penalized for it) is apparently a start. "Administrators and teachers say the policies provide hope for underperforming students".

Oh puh-leeze!

Let's clear up a few things here about this whole grading process, shall we?

When I went to school (and no, I didn't have to walk both ways uphill, in the snow, barefooted), we were expected to do homework and turn it in on time. We were expected to study, to show up on time, to be respectful of both our fellow students and our teachers, and we took our exams. Even if we didn't PASS the exam, the overall work that we did in class, as well as our homework, showed whether we were competant with the material that was being doled out to us.

We may not have performed well on tests, but if we did everything else in class, we'd still pass the class with a C or better. And normally, the teacher would notice that we didn't do well on tests, and try to either work with us for different ways to try taking the test, or suggest ways to study better for them...

We were NOT told "Gee, it's too bad that you can't seem to pass the test, so we're going to simply put you on a hold for this class, and you'll get to open-book the test so you will pass it... And I'll even read you the answers so you'll get them right..."

We were NOT told "Oh, poor thing... I'm so sorry that you don't get enough time with your friends because you had to do your homework tonight - so we'll let it slide this semester, since we know that a letter grade doesn't reflect YOU as a person... Instead, you can write a short essay on how you feel now that you don't have any pressure placed on you."

And we CERTAINLY were NOT told "Oh! I'm so sorry that you feel like you're a failure because you've refused to do the work that was expected of you and you're falling behind... here - how about if I have the teacher fill out the answers for you, and you can sign your name at the top! Won't that make you feel better?!"


And we wonder why it is, we now have so many people who are disinterested in working, feel resentment at their bosses for expecting them to put in a full day's work for a full day's pay, and it's more and more difficult to get quality work out of new employees...

Hmmm... Maybe your precious little snowflake could have used a paddling...

~M

Whoops...

So, yeah... about that updating every day - or even once a week thing... Oops. Hey, what can I say - Life got the better of me.

What's been going on? Nothing of much import... Cleaning, sewing, working, being a mom... the generic stuff that drives people to do stupid stuff like spend too much money and then stress about where rent's going to come from. *rolls eyes*

Honestly, I've just been trying to make it from one day to the next lately. Had to take 3 days off work due to a particularly nasty headcold/sinus infection/migraine thing... Not sure what the heck is up with that, but apparently my daughter is the epidemic incubator of the world, determined to infect everyone around her with practically terminal virul infections. It's a good thing she's cute and we love her...

She's learning more words almost by the second, and is getting faster at zipping around the house, climbing up and down, and generally getting into EVERYTHING... I can only hope that we can manage to get most of the breakables into a room she has absolutely no access to until she's 15, or get them all attached to the ceiling - or else it's curtains for all the china and glassware... She's managed already to break two of the spines off the crystal hedgehog... I'll be putting that up higher now...

Anyway, other than that, nothing else is really happening... My life is pretty mundane lately, and I'm ok with that.

~M

Saving...

I've been trying lately to start saving money by clipping coupons and looking for good buys in the stores. So far, I'm not doing too badly, though I've just started.

So far, I'm waiting for some manufacturer coupons to come in the mail, and am going to start picking up the sunday paper for the coupons as well.

I'd like to ask that if any of my readers end up with manufacturer coupons that won't use them, please think about handing them over to me. I'll be glad to take them off your hands...

If you're looking to try and save a little cash, you might try clipping coupons and checking out this last Tuesday's Food Day in the Oregonian. There were some great tips in there about how to best use coupons.

Also, there's plenty of online, printable coupons out there. Keep in mind, though - WinCo does NOT take internet printed coupons, nor do they price-match or take competitors coupons. Only manufacturer coupons.

You may also try to grow a little something to help out your kitchen. Even herbs can help, and are easy to grow on a porch. I know, because I'm growing some myself. They're going to be so much easier to keep this way, won't get stuck in my fridge forever until they rot, and are less expensive to keep than $2/package of herbs...

So, there's my two cents worth for attempting to save some green. :-)

~M

Updated 11:45am 3-27-09

http://www.oregonlive.com/foodday/index.ssf/2009/03/cutting_costs_with_coupons.html

According to this lady, there are organic coupons available, if you search for them. So, if you have issues with purchasing foods that are pre-processed, there are still ways to cut costs.

And onto the next phase...

So, Friday the dental clinic finally called me back - at 5pm... They said they couldn't set up an appointment or make decisions regarding my care until they got my chart back from the other clinic where I had the urgent appointment on Wednesday...

I'm sorry, what? You don't have my chart back to the regular clinic, and it's been 48 hours? Why didn't they send it back that evening before closing - seeing as how it's only 2.5 miles away from you... Their answer? "I don't know..."

I see...

So, supposedly, I'm to hear from them today. I'm not going to wait - I'm calling at my first break, and then if I don't hear back, I'll call at my lunch, and lather, rinse, repeat until I get somewhere. This has to be some of the worst customer service and patient treatment I've ever had in my life, I swear to the good Goddess above.

This will make appointment # 5 that I've had to make to get ONE tooth fixed. OMG. This falls under the "That's just sad" category.

~M

Murphy... Paging Dr Murphy...

So, the whole thing with the tooth... Yeah... It's still going on. My Dr's name is apparently Murphy - as in "the laws of"...

It wouldn't be so bad but for the pain, and the ever-present worry that something worse is going to happen now that the top of the tooth has been removed and only a temporary cap has been placed on top... Like, oh, say, the whole tooth deciding that it's had enough and it's going to split in half... fun stuff.

Yesterday was an exersize in frustration trying to get the clinics to understand that I wasn't going to wait until April (yes, APRIL!!) for another appointment, nor was I going to go in and pay an extra $50 for an "emergency" appointment just to have them do something "temporary" on it to "get me through"... They can give me drugs and I'll be happy.

So, after spending over an hour arguing back and forth with them, it was determined that I'll go in next Wednesday morning and, barring even MORE complications, I'll have the root canal done then. Yay me.

I feel certain that my boss is loving me right now... I warm the cockles of her heart, I'm sure...

~M