LOTS of things going on right now... I've managed to get a Wedding Scheduler booklet for both Mishu and myself... Her's is a notebook, as she is my Best Bitch and needs a place to jot down info for her regardless of the date.
Mine is a datebook with the entire year up through Dec set out, and everything pretty much set almost to the minute from tomorrow through June 23rd... LOL.
On the up-shot, when I found it, I also found Happy Bunny stickers, so I put one on the front. It says "It's all about me - deal with it!"
I'm writing down pretty much everything that I need to do, and days that I need to do it by. It has an additional Notes/To Do list every other page, which is nice - allows me to jot down stuff that I need to remember to do that week, or that may or may not be pertinant depending... Also has a place for "priority" items, and a check-list. NICE! I'm organized! At least, in one aspect of my life. LOL.
I learned with the last wedding that one cannot be TOO organized, and I'm figuring out this time around that it's easier with input from my S.O. as well. I cornered Fred last night and got some ideas nailed down about the cake flavors.
I'm figuring that the dream catchers, once shaped, shouldn't take that long - as long as we have a few hands to help out. I have 3 days set aside for creating them - the 11th, 12th and 16th of Feb. Again, if anyone is willing to help me do this, I'd be REALLY thankful...
I'm also attempting to get a fabric search together on either Feb 18th or on the 23rd (when I get paid) so I can pick up the fabric and the pattern for Fred's Jacket. From that point forward, every day that I have off until April is going to be devoted to the dresses that I'm making for Mishu and I - and Fred's Jacket as well.
Sometime in Mid-March, Fred and I will be getting together with Lil to work on vows and a general overview of the ceremony. Fred and I are still working on what we want to do as far as a ceremony is concerned. Fred isn't really all that religious, and I'm not "devout", but have a strong affinity toward a higher power - so it's not going to be something that has major religious overtones. But we both want something that will reflect both how we feel about one another, and our promises toward one another...
Sometime in May, I will want to have the entire wedding group out to look at the site and walk through a preliminary set-up of how the whole thing will be set up.
Then I'll also be getting the marriage license...
Apparently, according to Mishu, I'm also going to be having a Hen party during May... not sure when exactly, but it should be interesting.
The week of June 17th, according to Mishu, I'm to have my bachelorette party - which will give me a week to recover prior to the wedding. Thank heavens.
I'm also ordering the cakes that week from Costco.
We've decided to rent a car/wagon for the wedding weekend. I think it's only practical, since we're going to need to travel around and get places within decent periods of time, and it's not going to work quite so well if we're constantly having people wait on us. The night before the wedding we're going to have a dinner rehersal - which is just a formal way of saying "get-together" with all the pertinant members of the wedding and close family. I'm looking forward to meeting Fred's side of the family - though every time I say that, he looks at me like I'm nuts. LOL.
So, that's about everything that I have currently listed in my schedule, other than the "normal" stuff like SCA events and Speedboy's birthday... I'm hoping that it will make things easier for me to track, as well as give a sort of history that I can look back on and remember when I'm older...
~M
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Gamer Geek!
I am a gamer geek. I've come to this conclusion after this last weekend when I played D&D 2nd ed. Fred's decided to GM a serious power-game, and it's got a great twist: We're evil characters (or at least, we're morally challenged), and it's a custard pie campaign! Yay me!
My character is a Ranger elf, who is randomly color-blind, has no sense of direction, and has an anger-management problem.
Windsong's character is a Wizard, who has a 50% chance of narcalepsy if he casts a spell, and a 50% chance of narcalepsy if he gets touched by feathers... Oh, and he has a thing for cross-dressing.
We're wanting to add more characters onto this, so if you're interested in a Saturday night game starting around 8:30pm, at our house, and you have a distinct lack of propriety, come on by!
We've already managed to hurt Fred's head several times - and he had to take a few puffs of his inhaler (the first time in WEEKS) because he was laughing so hard.
~M
My character is a Ranger elf, who is randomly color-blind, has no sense of direction, and has an anger-management problem.
Windsong's character is a Wizard, who has a 50% chance of narcalepsy if he casts a spell, and a 50% chance of narcalepsy if he gets touched by feathers... Oh, and he has a thing for cross-dressing.
We're wanting to add more characters onto this, so if you're interested in a Saturday night game starting around 8:30pm, at our house, and you have a distinct lack of propriety, come on by!
We've already managed to hurt Fred's head several times - and he had to take a few puffs of his inhaler (the first time in WEEKS) because he was laughing so hard.
~M
Wedding Update...
**I need your mailing addresses! If you're known to me, and you are wanting to come to the wedding, I need to have your mailing address. Please send it to me in a private email (that way I don't have to monitor my comments and quickly delete information after I've copied and pasted it - LOL) by no later than Feb 20, since I'll be (hopefully) mailing out the invites soon afterwards.
**The rings arrived! They're beautiful, and fit great. I'm so happy with them, and Fred is, too!
**Mishu, my Best Bitch, has received phone numbers from me of those people in my circle that I'd like to have come to a Hen Party, and then my Bachelorette Party. If you get an odd phone call, it's most likely her. She's harmless - mostly. Think of her as a younger me, without the tact button. You'll LOVE her! I promise!
**I've gotten the vine cut, I have the beads, and I have the embroidery floss. This means, of course, that there's a dreamcatcher party coming on February 11th at my house. If you're interested in helping me create my wedding favors, please come by. I'll have munchies, soda, and tea, and directions on how to make them, as well as movies playing in the background. All of the vines will be pre-shaped into the teardrop that they need to be, so it's just a matter of lacing through and creating the actual dreamcatcher web inside of it.
**The potluck idea is still on for the reception. Fred and I will be providing a fish and a roast for everyone to munch on - everything else is up to them to get.
**I'm having issues finding fabric for my dress - apparently, I'm pickier this time than I was last time around, and the blues that I want in my palatte aren't as popular this time around... If there's a point where I can pick up a ride from someone either on a Friday, Sunday or Monday, and head to different fabric stores, please let me know. I've been to Fabric Depot, and wasn't impressed at this point - but there are two more that I need to get to - Fabrics for Less and Jo-Ann Fabrics - to see what they have.
**If you would like to donate time, energy, or even money to the cause of our wedding, please contact me. :-) I'm trying to do this without asking my family for help this time. Since the last wedding was rather expensive, and Mum fronted the bill, I want to be able to take care of it all this time - or as much as possible.
So, that's about all I have at the moment regarding the wedding updates.
**The rings arrived! They're beautiful, and fit great. I'm so happy with them, and Fred is, too!
**Mishu, my Best Bitch, has received phone numbers from me of those people in my circle that I'd like to have come to a Hen Party, and then my Bachelorette Party. If you get an odd phone call, it's most likely her. She's harmless - mostly. Think of her as a younger me, without the tact button. You'll LOVE her! I promise!
**I've gotten the vine cut, I have the beads, and I have the embroidery floss. This means, of course, that there's a dreamcatcher party coming on February 11th at my house. If you're interested in helping me create my wedding favors, please come by. I'll have munchies, soda, and tea, and directions on how to make them, as well as movies playing in the background. All of the vines will be pre-shaped into the teardrop that they need to be, so it's just a matter of lacing through and creating the actual dreamcatcher web inside of it.
**The potluck idea is still on for the reception. Fred and I will be providing a fish and a roast for everyone to munch on - everything else is up to them to get.
**I'm having issues finding fabric for my dress - apparently, I'm pickier this time than I was last time around, and the blues that I want in my palatte aren't as popular this time around... If there's a point where I can pick up a ride from someone either on a Friday, Sunday or Monday, and head to different fabric stores, please let me know. I've been to Fabric Depot, and wasn't impressed at this point - but there are two more that I need to get to - Fabrics for Less and Jo-Ann Fabrics - to see what they have.
**If you would like to donate time, energy, or even money to the cause of our wedding, please contact me. :-) I'm trying to do this without asking my family for help this time. Since the last wedding was rather expensive, and Mum fronted the bill, I want to be able to take care of it all this time - or as much as possible.
So, that's about all I have at the moment regarding the wedding updates.
So much to read about!
So... I've decided to separate them out into different posts, so I can label them all - for those who'd like all their news in one chunk, sorry - my sudden Piscean OCD has kicked in and I must separate the information into the componants that they need to be in. LOL.
First up - In the past 40 days, I've gotten some pretty good books that I think others would like... At least, if they're history freaks like I am. *chuckle* See, I adore history. I specifically love world history, and the times that literally shook the world into a new era - like the Tudor era in England. Amazing stuff, that.
I had been realizing that while I've been blowing through books lately, they've been of the brain-fluff kind. And while that's enjoyable to blow through while riding for an hour on the bus to and from work, it's not conducive to any sort of brain function. And I was spending WAAAAY too much money on brain-fluff that wasn't lasting NEARLY as long as I'd like for it to. SO - what I have currently to go through are the following 4:
The Six Wives of Henry VIII - Alison Weir: Three Katherines, Two Anns and a Jane - If you're interested in the Tudor age at all, or why Elizabeth was SO amazing, this is a good book for you to look through. Alison Weir, known to be one of the foremost writers on the Tudor era, looks at each of Henry's six wives in turn, as well as the changes being made within the political, social, and religious forum of the day due to Henry's ever-changing appetites. It goes into immense detail of their daily lives, their interactions with Henry and the other courtiers, and includes pictures as well. The book also contains a really good time-line of occurances, from the Tudor takeover from the Plantaganets up through the ascension of Elizabeth to the throne. It's a fascinating look at how each of the women were both treated by Henry, and helped him shape their own "known world" with their actions. I've only gotten through most of Katherine of Aragon, Henry's first wife - but it's exceptional reading.
The Honest Courtesan - Margaret F Rosenthal: This is a more "realistic" view of Veronica Franco's life than that of "Dangerous Beauty". The back states that it goes through Franco's cultural, social, and economic world, and combines the resources of biography, history, literary theory, and cultural criticism to present her life. I have not yet read it, but I am looking forward to it. Veronica Franco is one of my heros (thus the name of my blog, here), and while I thought that "Dangerous Beauty" was lovely, I knew there was SO much more - and so much different - about her life than what Hollywood chose to create. I can't wait to chew through this one.
Unsolved Mysteries of History - An Eye-opening investigation into the most baffling events of all time - Paul Aron: I've been browsing through this book as I feel the need. It's a great factual account of 25 different mysteries witihn history, from ancient to contemporary times. It includes factual information, questions previous suggestions made by others who sought to "solve" the mystery, and leaves it open in the end to draw your own conclusions. Quite well written, and recommended as a fun "bathroom" or "coffee-table" book.
What Are The Seven Wonders Of The World? And 100 Other Great Cultural Lists - Fully Explicated - Peter D'Epiro and Mary Desmond Pinkowish: I am always looking for new and (most likely) useless trivia information. If you're one too, you'll like this book. It's separated by the number of the answers you'll be looking at within the subject, and then breaks down each of the individual answers and gives detailed information regarding them... For instance: The children of Adam and Eve were? (The Chapter of 3's, question 1) Cain, Abel, Seth... It then gives detailed information regarding each one based on biblical accounts from the Old Testament, with comments from each of the authors regarding why (and why not) the information had been included in the bible. There's a great forward that is also worth reading, as it explains why they chose the format of the book in the way they did. I have been going through this book since I picked it up just before Christmas. It reminds me of something my father would have LOVED to have had, if only to spring random trivia on people.
So, there you have it - those books which I am currently reading... There are more that I'd like to get, but they're on my Amazon wish list, so they'll have to wait.
~M
First up - In the past 40 days, I've gotten some pretty good books that I think others would like... At least, if they're history freaks like I am. *chuckle* See, I adore history. I specifically love world history, and the times that literally shook the world into a new era - like the Tudor era in England. Amazing stuff, that.
I had been realizing that while I've been blowing through books lately, they've been of the brain-fluff kind. And while that's enjoyable to blow through while riding for an hour on the bus to and from work, it's not conducive to any sort of brain function. And I was spending WAAAAY too much money on brain-fluff that wasn't lasting NEARLY as long as I'd like for it to. SO - what I have currently to go through are the following 4:
The Six Wives of Henry VIII - Alison Weir: Three Katherines, Two Anns and a Jane - If you're interested in the Tudor age at all, or why Elizabeth was SO amazing, this is a good book for you to look through. Alison Weir, known to be one of the foremost writers on the Tudor era, looks at each of Henry's six wives in turn, as well as the changes being made within the political, social, and religious forum of the day due to Henry's ever-changing appetites. It goes into immense detail of their daily lives, their interactions with Henry and the other courtiers, and includes pictures as well. The book also contains a really good time-line of occurances, from the Tudor takeover from the Plantaganets up through the ascension of Elizabeth to the throne. It's a fascinating look at how each of the women were both treated by Henry, and helped him shape their own "known world" with their actions. I've only gotten through most of Katherine of Aragon, Henry's first wife - but it's exceptional reading.
The Honest Courtesan - Margaret F Rosenthal: This is a more "realistic" view of Veronica Franco's life than that of "Dangerous Beauty". The back states that it goes through Franco's cultural, social, and economic world, and combines the resources of biography, history, literary theory, and cultural criticism to present her life. I have not yet read it, but I am looking forward to it. Veronica Franco is one of my heros (thus the name of my blog, here), and while I thought that "Dangerous Beauty" was lovely, I knew there was SO much more - and so much different - about her life than what Hollywood chose to create. I can't wait to chew through this one.
Unsolved Mysteries of History - An Eye-opening investigation into the most baffling events of all time - Paul Aron: I've been browsing through this book as I feel the need. It's a great factual account of 25 different mysteries witihn history, from ancient to contemporary times. It includes factual information, questions previous suggestions made by others who sought to "solve" the mystery, and leaves it open in the end to draw your own conclusions. Quite well written, and recommended as a fun "bathroom" or "coffee-table" book.
What Are The Seven Wonders Of The World? And 100 Other Great Cultural Lists - Fully Explicated - Peter D'Epiro and Mary Desmond Pinkowish: I am always looking for new and (most likely) useless trivia information. If you're one too, you'll like this book. It's separated by the number of the answers you'll be looking at within the subject, and then breaks down each of the individual answers and gives detailed information regarding them... For instance: The children of Adam and Eve were? (The Chapter of 3's, question 1) Cain, Abel, Seth... It then gives detailed information regarding each one based on biblical accounts from the Old Testament, with comments from each of the authors regarding why (and why not) the information had been included in the bible. There's a great forward that is also worth reading, as it explains why they chose the format of the book in the way they did. I have been going through this book since I picked it up just before Christmas. It reminds me of something my father would have LOVED to have had, if only to spring random trivia on people.
So, there you have it - those books which I am currently reading... There are more that I'd like to get, but they're on my Amazon wish list, so they'll have to wait.
~M
Saturday, January 27, 2007
WW
1. Do you wear any religious symbol jewelry/clothing? If so do you wear it openly in public?
Not normally - I had a necklace at one point, but it broke. I don't tend to do well with jewelry, as my skin is very acidic and tends to eat metal. But I do occasionally wear long pendants if it matches what I'm wearing, normally of semi-precious stone. I don't actually own any religious symbol jewelry, but I do have a t-shirt that I go grocery shopping in - it's black with gold printed people dancing in a circle, with the title "Wild Witches Don't Get The Blues".
2. How do you feel about the issue of wearing religious symbols in schools and how some young teens are forced to remove their religious fashions?
If it's ok for a "mainstream" religon to wear their symbols, then it should be ok for a non-mainstream one to do so. As long as the symbols or images aren't violent, then there shouldn't be an issue with it.
3. Have you ever experienced a confrontation about wearing your jewelry in public? How did you handle the situation if so?
Yes, I did... It was rather amusing, actually. I was wearing the one piece I designed and wore for a while - a pentacle in brass, on a choker necklace of tiger's eye and black jet.
I wore it to work when I first started working in a call center. I had 3 cubemates, and one of them was a Jehovah's Witness. Unfortunately, she was quite distressed at the symbol, and said that I needed to remove my "devil's symbol". I asked her what she was talking about, and she pointed, horrified, at my necklace.
I had to sit her down and explain about the actual background behind the symbol, and how the christian faith had deliberately manipulated it to be a negative symbol in order to convert people out of fear. It was all very traumatic for her, as she was such a devout believer in the anglo-saxon version of the bible. It was almost frightening to me that she was SO closed-minded.
I wore it a few times after that, and it wasn't an issue, but then the necklace broke, and I never re-created one.
~M
Not normally - I had a necklace at one point, but it broke. I don't tend to do well with jewelry, as my skin is very acidic and tends to eat metal. But I do occasionally wear long pendants if it matches what I'm wearing, normally of semi-precious stone. I don't actually own any religious symbol jewelry, but I do have a t-shirt that I go grocery shopping in - it's black with gold printed people dancing in a circle, with the title "Wild Witches Don't Get The Blues".
2. How do you feel about the issue of wearing religious symbols in schools and how some young teens are forced to remove their religious fashions?
If it's ok for a "mainstream" religon to wear their symbols, then it should be ok for a non-mainstream one to do so. As long as the symbols or images aren't violent, then there shouldn't be an issue with it.
3. Have you ever experienced a confrontation about wearing your jewelry in public? How did you handle the situation if so?
Yes, I did... It was rather amusing, actually. I was wearing the one piece I designed and wore for a while - a pentacle in brass, on a choker necklace of tiger's eye and black jet.
I wore it to work when I first started working in a call center. I had 3 cubemates, and one of them was a Jehovah's Witness. Unfortunately, she was quite distressed at the symbol, and said that I needed to remove my "devil's symbol". I asked her what she was talking about, and she pointed, horrified, at my necklace.
I had to sit her down and explain about the actual background behind the symbol, and how the christian faith had deliberately manipulated it to be a negative symbol in order to convert people out of fear. It was all very traumatic for her, as she was such a devout believer in the anglo-saxon version of the bible. It was almost frightening to me that she was SO closed-minded.
I wore it a few times after that, and it wasn't an issue, but then the necklace broke, and I never re-created one.
~M
Relationships...
As seen at Smart At Love
What do you think of two-home, un-co-habitating, Living Apart Together (LAT) relationships?
---
And.......what are the best things, in your opinion, about Living Together Together (LTT) relationships?
Here: have a can of worms and a grenade... oy.
OK - so, before you read my answers, I'd suggest that you read the post by Dr. Annie, who asked the questions above afterwards...
First, my opinion on the article:
It's interesting, well thought out, and doesn't make me believe that she's either for or against it - a refreshing change when looking at a lot of articles on relationships and sex. Many of them start out two-sided, but by the end, it's clear that the person has a defining opinion (not bad, mind you, just not optimal for writing a non-personal article) on the subject and is wanting to sway the reader toward it.
Second, let's answer these questions...
So-called "LAT" relationships, to me, are fine for the beginning of any relationship. It's nice to be able to have your own space and, if need be, have that space to yourself when you need it. However, as the relationship moves forward, it seems to me that it would be more natural to move together as a couple, rather than stay apart.
It's something which I'm loathe to define as a herding instinct, or a "mating" instinct - perhaps it can be thought of more as a team creation. A team doesn't *need* to have something bonding them together physically (children) - they have mutual goals and thoughts which, with the two of them working toward said goals, can reach them more easily, with support from one another.
It's not so easy to have that support if you're not living together. It's a different situation than simply having a roommate - there is a deeper connection with a couple - if not, then it's probably not time for you to move in together, unless it's as roommates, with separate rooms, etc.
Yes, the excitement of being "picked up" for a date can still be there - and it is nice to have your own space at times when you need it. But the considerate significant other will take you out on dates and allow you your own space when you need it - and communication is key to both of those happening. If you're not happy with how things are going in the relationship, you shouldn't wait and let it fester. Let them know how you feel, and why - and most important, let them address your feelings and have them tell their side of the situation.
Personally, I think that if you aren't willing to communicate and negotiate, it means you don't seriously want a commitment. Part of being in any relationship is working through tempers, bad days, personal discomforts and general nit-picky issues.
I've had 2 LTT relationships so far. The first one, not so great, the current one really good. The reason it wasn't so great with the first on was, I believe, both of us started relationships *really* young, and neither understood how to communicate or negotiate. While one of us learned, the other one didn't, and after 10 years, I no longer wanted to be in it because of the growth that had happened - which while positive on my part, pushed the two of us further away from one another because he wasn't willing/able to grow as well. Too much time, not enough communication, not enough negotiation, and not enough willingness to learn from one another.
The current one is a complete 180 from my first one. We both had rocky relationships in the past, and having learned from them, started as friends before becoming involved. We have found that we can talk with one another about issues without feeling afraid of how the other person will respond because we now know how to approach a discussion - not as an attack, but showing a desire to understand and possibly correct. We share similar tastes (but not identical) in many things, but we are each interested in enough other things to make talking about them interesting.
My favorite parts? Waking up to having him next to me each morning, and going to bed with him each night. I enjoy having meals with him (my personal "intimate" thing), I like playing "devil's advocate" with him and sparring mentally, we enjoy a FABU sex life, and we snuggle.
Are there times when we disagree? Yes. But, it's not crucial that we agree 100% of the time. It's understood that we will not always agree with things, but that we will try to understand where the other one is coming from. It's also one of these "pick your battles" situation. Sometimes, it's just not worth arguing about, because it's not going to necessarily affect your relationship if you don't agree.
Are there times when we need time alone? Again, yes. But again, we communicate with one another - we take time to destress with what we enjoy doing - for him, it's computer time. For me, it's either a good book, cooking, or sometimes watching a movie. And that's ok, too. It's understood that it's a little time for us to re-group, to think about things (or not), and not allow our stress and petty work crap roll off onto one another, but instead out the door and away from us.
We've had a few disagreements, but we've gotten through them fairly well, I think. We don't yell, we don't throw things, and we don't simply not talk about what's going on. We choose to approach each thing as an adult, and with an open mind for understanding where the other person is coming from.
So - all in all? I think that an "LAT" relationship is ok for the beginning of a relationship, but if after a 6-8 months the relationship is still at that stage, you might want to either re-think the relationship, or take a hard look at yourselves and what you're willing to commit to. Fuck-buddies are fine, and are a great thing to have - but they aren't relationships.
~M
What do you think of two-home, un-co-habitating, Living Apart Together (LAT) relationships?
---
And.......what are the best things, in your opinion, about Living Together Together (LTT) relationships?
Here: have a can of worms and a grenade... oy.
OK - so, before you read my answers, I'd suggest that you read the post by Dr. Annie, who asked the questions above afterwards...
First, my opinion on the article:
It's interesting, well thought out, and doesn't make me believe that she's either for or against it - a refreshing change when looking at a lot of articles on relationships and sex. Many of them start out two-sided, but by the end, it's clear that the person has a defining opinion (not bad, mind you, just not optimal for writing a non-personal article) on the subject and is wanting to sway the reader toward it.
Second, let's answer these questions...
So-called "LAT" relationships, to me, are fine for the beginning of any relationship. It's nice to be able to have your own space and, if need be, have that space to yourself when you need it. However, as the relationship moves forward, it seems to me that it would be more natural to move together as a couple, rather than stay apart.
It's something which I'm loathe to define as a herding instinct, or a "mating" instinct - perhaps it can be thought of more as a team creation. A team doesn't *need* to have something bonding them together physically (children) - they have mutual goals and thoughts which, with the two of them working toward said goals, can reach them more easily, with support from one another.
It's not so easy to have that support if you're not living together. It's a different situation than simply having a roommate - there is a deeper connection with a couple - if not, then it's probably not time for you to move in together, unless it's as roommates, with separate rooms, etc.
Yes, the excitement of being "picked up" for a date can still be there - and it is nice to have your own space at times when you need it. But the considerate significant other will take you out on dates and allow you your own space when you need it - and communication is key to both of those happening. If you're not happy with how things are going in the relationship, you shouldn't wait and let it fester. Let them know how you feel, and why - and most important, let them address your feelings and have them tell their side of the situation.
Personally, I think that if you aren't willing to communicate and negotiate, it means you don't seriously want a commitment. Part of being in any relationship is working through tempers, bad days, personal discomforts and general nit-picky issues.
I've had 2 LTT relationships so far. The first one, not so great, the current one really good. The reason it wasn't so great with the first on was, I believe, both of us started relationships *really* young, and neither understood how to communicate or negotiate. While one of us learned, the other one didn't, and after 10 years, I no longer wanted to be in it because of the growth that had happened - which while positive on my part, pushed the two of us further away from one another because he wasn't willing/able to grow as well. Too much time, not enough communication, not enough negotiation, and not enough willingness to learn from one another.
The current one is a complete 180 from my first one. We both had rocky relationships in the past, and having learned from them, started as friends before becoming involved. We have found that we can talk with one another about issues without feeling afraid of how the other person will respond because we now know how to approach a discussion - not as an attack, but showing a desire to understand and possibly correct. We share similar tastes (but not identical) in many things, but we are each interested in enough other things to make talking about them interesting.
My favorite parts? Waking up to having him next to me each morning, and going to bed with him each night. I enjoy having meals with him (my personal "intimate" thing), I like playing "devil's advocate" with him and sparring mentally, we enjoy a FABU sex life, and we snuggle.
Are there times when we disagree? Yes. But, it's not crucial that we agree 100% of the time. It's understood that we will not always agree with things, but that we will try to understand where the other one is coming from. It's also one of these "pick your battles" situation. Sometimes, it's just not worth arguing about, because it's not going to necessarily affect your relationship if you don't agree.
Are there times when we need time alone? Again, yes. But again, we communicate with one another - we take time to destress with what we enjoy doing - for him, it's computer time. For me, it's either a good book, cooking, or sometimes watching a movie. And that's ok, too. It's understood that it's a little time for us to re-group, to think about things (or not), and not allow our stress and petty work crap roll off onto one another, but instead out the door and away from us.
We've had a few disagreements, but we've gotten through them fairly well, I think. We don't yell, we don't throw things, and we don't simply not talk about what's going on. We choose to approach each thing as an adult, and with an open mind for understanding where the other person is coming from.
So - all in all? I think that an "LAT" relationship is ok for the beginning of a relationship, but if after a 6-8 months the relationship is still at that stage, you might want to either re-think the relationship, or take a hard look at yourselves and what you're willing to commit to. Fuck-buddies are fine, and are a great thing to have - but they aren't relationships.
~M
Witches Weekly
Does science play a role in your spiritual beliefs? Does it compliment or contradict, and in what ways?
Well, hmmm... That's a tough one. The practical side of me says that, since I attempt to be spiritual in everything I do no matter what, then I have to say it does - or at least, it touches my spiritual beliefs.
There's something to be said about attempting to separate church and state - but church and science is a different thing altogether. I don't think that anyone can *truly* remove science from their lives, not anymore... I think you'd have to move two generations to simply get away from the fact that we all get immunized from the get-go anymore - and most of the population ends up in a hospital just being born.
But, does it play a role in my spiritual beliefs? I suppose - I don't believe that the world was created in a ridiculously small amount of time. I don't believe that the sun is swallowed each night and given birth to the next morning... As humans, we have proven what happens, why there is a day and night, and that the earth is, indeed, round.
It's a difficult thing to answer, honestly - I don't think that it either compliments or contradicts it - it's just there. My personal beliefs simply don't reflect it, because I accept it not as a spiritual thing, but a physical aspect of my reality. It's there, I have it, I have the ability and (luckily) the luxury of utilizing what science has learned, and I accept that as we go further along, there will be new advances in both science and technology.
I believe...
that my actions have consequences, and that those consequences are created directly from my own choices.
that it's not how much you have in life, but what you do with it.
that it's up to each individual person to create the life which is good for them that doesn't hurt others.
that each person has the ability to help one another when they see someone in need.
that it is each person's responsibility to better themselves, and in so doing, they better the world.
that it is better to give than receive.
that there is a force inside of each person, and it is the reflection of whatever higher power you happen to recognize.
that I have the ultimate control over myself and my action.
that I do not have to harm others in order to make myself feel better about me.
that I need to honor those who came before me, accept that I too will pass, and try to leave the world better than it was before.
that I need to honor all things which give their life for both my physical and mental comfort.
that my spiritual comfort is directly proportional to the actions that I take in my life.
that the rituals that I do are for me to focus on what I need to do, in order to take action for myself.
that praying is good, but doing is better.
that no one else has to believe anything that I do.
that no one has the right to tell me how to believe.
I don't know that this is really an answerable question. I may not be understanding the question - then again, it could be that I'm making this much more difficult than it really is...
~M
Well, hmmm... That's a tough one. The practical side of me says that, since I attempt to be spiritual in everything I do no matter what, then I have to say it does - or at least, it touches my spiritual beliefs.
There's something to be said about attempting to separate church and state - but church and science is a different thing altogether. I don't think that anyone can *truly* remove science from their lives, not anymore... I think you'd have to move two generations to simply get away from the fact that we all get immunized from the get-go anymore - and most of the population ends up in a hospital just being born.
But, does it play a role in my spiritual beliefs? I suppose - I don't believe that the world was created in a ridiculously small amount of time. I don't believe that the sun is swallowed each night and given birth to the next morning... As humans, we have proven what happens, why there is a day and night, and that the earth is, indeed, round.
It's a difficult thing to answer, honestly - I don't think that it either compliments or contradicts it - it's just there. My personal beliefs simply don't reflect it, because I accept it not as a spiritual thing, but a physical aspect of my reality. It's there, I have it, I have the ability and (luckily) the luxury of utilizing what science has learned, and I accept that as we go further along, there will be new advances in both science and technology.
I believe...
that my actions have consequences, and that those consequences are created directly from my own choices.
that it's not how much you have in life, but what you do with it.
that it's up to each individual person to create the life which is good for them that doesn't hurt others.
that each person has the ability to help one another when they see someone in need.
that it is each person's responsibility to better themselves, and in so doing, they better the world.
that it is better to give than receive.
that there is a force inside of each person, and it is the reflection of whatever higher power you happen to recognize.
that I have the ultimate control over myself and my action.
that I do not have to harm others in order to make myself feel better about me.
that I need to honor those who came before me, accept that I too will pass, and try to leave the world better than it was before.
that I need to honor all things which give their life for both my physical and mental comfort.
that my spiritual comfort is directly proportional to the actions that I take in my life.
that the rituals that I do are for me to focus on what I need to do, in order to take action for myself.
that praying is good, but doing is better.
that no one else has to believe anything that I do.
that no one has the right to tell me how to believe.
I don't know that this is really an answerable question. I may not be understanding the question - then again, it could be that I'm making this much more difficult than it really is...
~M
Friday, January 26, 2007
For those who wish to know...
My birthday is coming up in the next 30 days - and no, I'm not telling how old - just that it's not older than dirt; yet... If you so choose to, please feel free to be generous and send me something nice... :-)
Also, if you haven't already gone there, here's the direct link to our wedding registry at Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wedding/1C8L2CGXBU35
So - there you are... You now have absolutely no excuse to not get me something - unless you're as poor as I am, at which point, I'm right there with ya!
Also, if you haven't already gone there, here's the direct link to our wedding registry at Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wedding/1C8L2CGXBU35
So - there you are... You now have absolutely no excuse to not get me something - unless you're as poor as I am, at which point, I'm right there with ya!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Me? Nah... well... ok, you may have something there.
You are The Star
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised
The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Slamming my head against a wall...
Why? Because it feels SO good when I stop!
Seriously, there are times when I honestly feel like that's what I'm doing. Speedboy came home with his progress report for the 2nd trimester...
Now, remember - back at the end of the trimester, end of November, we got his grades, and found that he'd flunked all 3 of his core classes. We told him at that point he needed to buckle down and start turning in stuff, quit futzing around, or he wouldn't be tourneying with is this summer.
His mid-term progress report is worse than his original trimester grades! It's as though he's deliberately flunking his way through school! As of yesterday, everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING) that can be remotely used as a toy has been taken away from him. All games have been pulled from his computer, and he's restricted to his room until he knocks this crap off.
According to him, his math teacher specifically has it out for him (grudgingly said that it happened to other students as well), and has lost his paperwork that he's turned in, causing him to fail his class... This would be a heck of a lot more believable if he were passing his other classes - which he's not - or turned in all of his work for said other classes - which he hasn't. So - on top of his normal homework (which honestly isn't more than an hour's worth most evenings), we're also assigning him all the chapter study guide questions in the book for each of his classes, and for math he'll be going back and doing ALL the math problems, not just selected ones, for each chapter assigned to him in class.
Overboard? Maybe - but honestly, we don't know what else to do. It's against the law to follow through with corporal punishment (much as both Fred and I feel sometimes it could be worth it), and obviously simply talking to him hasn't gotten anything. I'm going to be writing a letter to all of his teachers letting them know what's to be expected of Josh should he finish his work prior to class being over (no reading "fun" books, he's to do class-related work), and also during homework club should he finish with his normal homework.
I'm also going to be suggesting that he, his math teacher, and his counselor all sit down and try to figure out why he feels that his math teacher is "ganging" up on him constantly, and hopefully get to the root of the issue of why he feels he doesn't have to turn in his homework.
Bah!
~M
Seriously, there are times when I honestly feel like that's what I'm doing. Speedboy came home with his progress report for the 2nd trimester...
Now, remember - back at the end of the trimester, end of November, we got his grades, and found that he'd flunked all 3 of his core classes. We told him at that point he needed to buckle down and start turning in stuff, quit futzing around, or he wouldn't be tourneying with is this summer.
His mid-term progress report is worse than his original trimester grades! It's as though he's deliberately flunking his way through school! As of yesterday, everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING) that can be remotely used as a toy has been taken away from him. All games have been pulled from his computer, and he's restricted to his room until he knocks this crap off.
According to him, his math teacher specifically has it out for him (grudgingly said that it happened to other students as well), and has lost his paperwork that he's turned in, causing him to fail his class... This would be a heck of a lot more believable if he were passing his other classes - which he's not - or turned in all of his work for said other classes - which he hasn't. So - on top of his normal homework (which honestly isn't more than an hour's worth most evenings), we're also assigning him all the chapter study guide questions in the book for each of his classes, and for math he'll be going back and doing ALL the math problems, not just selected ones, for each chapter assigned to him in class.
Overboard? Maybe - but honestly, we don't know what else to do. It's against the law to follow through with corporal punishment (much as both Fred and I feel sometimes it could be worth it), and obviously simply talking to him hasn't gotten anything. I'm going to be writing a letter to all of his teachers letting them know what's to be expected of Josh should he finish his work prior to class being over (no reading "fun" books, he's to do class-related work), and also during homework club should he finish with his normal homework.
I'm also going to be suggesting that he, his math teacher, and his counselor all sit down and try to figure out why he feels that his math teacher is "ganging" up on him constantly, and hopefully get to the root of the issue of why he feels he doesn't have to turn in his homework.
Bah!
~M
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Almost back...
After a week being sick, I'm almost back to being somewhat normal... I had sinusitis (sinus infection) and tracheitis (inflamation of the trachea). So, I got dosed up on antibiotics and some oxycodone cough suppressent. Yay me.
The bad news: my new insurance has a $1250 deductable that I have to meet before they'll cover ANY of my prescriptions - including the ones I have to take on a normal, daily basis. SO - I either have to get off my anti-crazy meds, or pay out the ass for them... It's sad when I realize that I have to find another job that has better bennies, so that I can keep from killing people. LOL.
Interestingly enough, I have not yet heard back from my mother about the addresses I asked her to get me for the family. I think she's rather upset that I'm not going to invite my sister... Then again, she could just be totally overwhelmed with taking care of both my sister and her two children to even have TIME to check email - or anything else. Gah! I swear, the woman is FAR too nice to my sister sometimes.
I'm going to keep this short, however - I get to go take a typing test tomorrow, and then check in on another prescription that I'm still waiting on (it needed dr approval for it to be filled).
~M
The bad news: my new insurance has a $1250 deductable that I have to meet before they'll cover ANY of my prescriptions - including the ones I have to take on a normal, daily basis. SO - I either have to get off my anti-crazy meds, or pay out the ass for them... It's sad when I realize that I have to find another job that has better bennies, so that I can keep from killing people. LOL.
Interestingly enough, I have not yet heard back from my mother about the addresses I asked her to get me for the family. I think she's rather upset that I'm not going to invite my sister... Then again, she could just be totally overwhelmed with taking care of both my sister and her two children to even have TIME to check email - or anything else. Gah! I swear, the woman is FAR too nice to my sister sometimes.
I'm going to keep this short, however - I get to go take a typing test tomorrow, and then check in on another prescription that I'm still waiting on (it needed dr approval for it to be filled).
~M
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
If it feels like I'm dying, and it sounds like I'm dying...
Am I dying? The jury is still out on that one - but I do feel and sound like I'm dying. I've come down with the same bloody sinus infection/cold that I had two weeks ago - that I had two weeks prior to that, and that everyone around me is insisting on giving BACK to me. Bloody hell.
This last weekend probably didn't help. Instead of being warm and taking care of myself, I spent the weekend at Silver Falls Campground, at Courtesan Carnival. I'm not saying it's cold, but my GRANDMOTHER was warmer in a December freeze-over than the cabin was that first night. Yee gods!
The event itself wasn't actually all that bad. I had a good time catching up with people, reading, and generally simply hanging out. It had snowed prior to us being up there, but we managed to make it up there and back with very little trouble. Thank heavens for front-wheel drive vehicles!
Saturday night was better. They'd had the fire going since Thursday night, and it was only Saturday that everything got warm enough for us to be able to fall asleep comfortably. I suggested that next year, they need to winterize the windows as soon as they arrive on Thursday, and then start the fire - that way, everything can be warmer, FASTER. They agreed - apparently it hadn't occurred to them. *rolls eyes*
Monday we turned the car in, and Fred stayed home to take care of me as I felt like crap. All I wanted to do was sleep - all he wanted to do was dig up the magic wand and make me feel better. LOL. I was hovered over, and the cat was quite upset with me being sick, so she hovered as well.
Tuesday found both Fred and I rather upset at the fact that it was snowing - and had been snowing - since around 5:30 am... Neither of us had asked for it, and Fred was rather perturbed at the idea, as he was stuck on a bike. I called into work as I STILL wasn't feeling well... Interestingly enough, at 7 am, Beaverton School Districts had not closed the school - but by the time poor Speedboy had trudged his way to school, they'd closed them, so he was back by 9 am. Fred's boss closed the company at 10:15, and it took Fred until 3pm to get home because Tri-Met had shut down all busses going into and out of Milwaukie transit center, where he normally picks up the first of 3 busses to get home. He sat there for an hour before someone from Tri-Met actually came over and told him.
This morning pretty much everything is still shut down - While supposedly the 56 (the only bus which runs up and down our street) is running, it's so erratic I wouldn't have been able to make it in even remotely on time. Since I am STILL feeling shitty, I called in again - this time leaving a message for someone else, as the phone extensions weren't working, AND sending an email in as well. I'm not sure if anyone is even there, at the moment.
While I know that those of you from the Mid-West and East coast may sneer at the paltry 2" of snow we got, we have a lot of hills, and a prediliction for ice under the snow - and on top of it - which leads to a lot of accidents. Since most people here don't know how to drive in snow at all (and freak out when rain falls for the first time in 3 months), it's normally simply safer to stay at home. Two 56 busses got into accidents with civilian drivers, and seven school busses also had accidents - three of them with trees.
I'm currently listening to Benny Hill on the BBC in one ear, and my cat yelling in the other... She's had some issues with her tummy lately, and is in need of stool softeners, poor thing. I'm loathe to take her to the vet, so am going to be looking online for something over the counter that can work for her in the meantime. She's 20, so unless its absolutely necessary, I don't want to deal with her on two or three busses heading over to the vet and back. It's traumatic enough for her, and even more so for those within hearing range - she has a mouth on her that rival's a longshoreman's.
~M
This last weekend probably didn't help. Instead of being warm and taking care of myself, I spent the weekend at Silver Falls Campground, at Courtesan Carnival. I'm not saying it's cold, but my GRANDMOTHER was warmer in a December freeze-over than the cabin was that first night. Yee gods!
The event itself wasn't actually all that bad. I had a good time catching up with people, reading, and generally simply hanging out. It had snowed prior to us being up there, but we managed to make it up there and back with very little trouble. Thank heavens for front-wheel drive vehicles!
Saturday night was better. They'd had the fire going since Thursday night, and it was only Saturday that everything got warm enough for us to be able to fall asleep comfortably. I suggested that next year, they need to winterize the windows as soon as they arrive on Thursday, and then start the fire - that way, everything can be warmer, FASTER. They agreed - apparently it hadn't occurred to them. *rolls eyes*
Monday we turned the car in, and Fred stayed home to take care of me as I felt like crap. All I wanted to do was sleep - all he wanted to do was dig up the magic wand and make me feel better. LOL. I was hovered over, and the cat was quite upset with me being sick, so she hovered as well.
Tuesday found both Fred and I rather upset at the fact that it was snowing - and had been snowing - since around 5:30 am... Neither of us had asked for it, and Fred was rather perturbed at the idea, as he was stuck on a bike. I called into work as I STILL wasn't feeling well... Interestingly enough, at 7 am, Beaverton School Districts had not closed the school - but by the time poor Speedboy had trudged his way to school, they'd closed them, so he was back by 9 am. Fred's boss closed the company at 10:15, and it took Fred until 3pm to get home because Tri-Met had shut down all busses going into and out of Milwaukie transit center, where he normally picks up the first of 3 busses to get home. He sat there for an hour before someone from Tri-Met actually came over and told him.
This morning pretty much everything is still shut down - While supposedly the 56 (the only bus which runs up and down our street) is running, it's so erratic I wouldn't have been able to make it in even remotely on time. Since I am STILL feeling shitty, I called in again - this time leaving a message for someone else, as the phone extensions weren't working, AND sending an email in as well. I'm not sure if anyone is even there, at the moment.
While I know that those of you from the Mid-West and East coast may sneer at the paltry 2" of snow we got, we have a lot of hills, and a prediliction for ice under the snow - and on top of it - which leads to a lot of accidents. Since most people here don't know how to drive in snow at all (and freak out when rain falls for the first time in 3 months), it's normally simply safer to stay at home. Two 56 busses got into accidents with civilian drivers, and seven school busses also had accidents - three of them with trees.
I'm currently listening to Benny Hill on the BBC in one ear, and my cat yelling in the other... She's had some issues with her tummy lately, and is in need of stool softeners, poor thing. I'm loathe to take her to the vet, so am going to be looking online for something over the counter that can work for her in the meantime. She's 20, so unless its absolutely necessary, I don't want to deal with her on two or three busses heading over to the vet and back. It's traumatic enough for her, and even more so for those within hearing range - she has a mouth on her that rival's a longshoreman's.
~M
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Another Witches Weekly...
I know - it's 2 in a week - but I had to catch up. ;-)
What method do you use to plan through rituals or spellwork? (such as a ritual outline, etc) Give a brief rundown of how a particular ritual for you goes.
I have a ritual outline? uhhh ok... No, seriously, I don't do "pre-planned" rituals - not even for High Holy days or anything. I don't believe that it's there for anything but show, and since I'm a solitary practitioner, I don't have anyone to play to but my inner God/dess.
My rundown is normally to decide to do a ritual outside my normal meditation, and then meditate in front of my alter, concentrating on what I want to achieve, and seeing the goal being completed positively. I will light a few candles, and possibly burn some incense if I feel the need... Most times I look on such things as extras that I don't *need* - candles and incense provide a focal point to get me meditating on what I want to accomplish with the ritual - just as a pre-planned version does. I look on it this way: If you don't already know exactly what it is that you are wanting to accomplish with the ritual, you'd best not be doing it in the first place - it'll almost always go wrong, and you'll find yourself asking the wrong questions - or worse, asking the right question for the wrong reason. Nothing like asking to live til you're 200 and waking up the next morning as a Galapagos Tortoise.
The other thing about rituals is that it's too easy to become the local "authority" in how to do [insert ritual name here]. There is, honestly speaking, no *wrong* way to do a ritual, as long as the tenats and precepts are followed that the ritual was created for. For instance - as long as it is understood that Midsummer (a.k.a. Litha) is the marking of the Summer Solstice, it is understood that it is the celebration of fertility and merrymaking prior to the harvest, and when the goddess, and the land, shows the first major signs of growth.
It's when those who feel that they are an "authority" on the subject of rituals end up making a hodge-podge of the different festivals that I end up getting really touchy. I'm not normally a picky person when it comes to how you want to do your ritual - but it still boils down to the whole "Be careful what you wish for - and HOW you wish for it". If you're simply mashing up different ideas and festival precepts because it's easier than opening a book and reading about it, then it follows that your ritual results will be equally as mashed up and indecisive. Not at all good for a quality result...
~M
What method do you use to plan through rituals or spellwork? (such as a ritual outline, etc) Give a brief rundown of how a particular ritual for you goes.
I have a ritual outline? uhhh ok... No, seriously, I don't do "pre-planned" rituals - not even for High Holy days or anything. I don't believe that it's there for anything but show, and since I'm a solitary practitioner, I don't have anyone to play to but my inner God/dess.
My rundown is normally to decide to do a ritual outside my normal meditation, and then meditate in front of my alter, concentrating on what I want to achieve, and seeing the goal being completed positively. I will light a few candles, and possibly burn some incense if I feel the need... Most times I look on such things as extras that I don't *need* - candles and incense provide a focal point to get me meditating on what I want to accomplish with the ritual - just as a pre-planned version does. I look on it this way: If you don't already know exactly what it is that you are wanting to accomplish with the ritual, you'd best not be doing it in the first place - it'll almost always go wrong, and you'll find yourself asking the wrong questions - or worse, asking the right question for the wrong reason. Nothing like asking to live til you're 200 and waking up the next morning as a Galapagos Tortoise.
The other thing about rituals is that it's too easy to become the local "authority" in how to do [insert ritual name here]. There is, honestly speaking, no *wrong* way to do a ritual, as long as the tenats and precepts are followed that the ritual was created for. For instance - as long as it is understood that Midsummer (a.k.a. Litha) is the marking of the Summer Solstice, it is understood that it is the celebration of fertility and merrymaking prior to the harvest, and when the goddess, and the land, shows the first major signs of growth.
It's when those who feel that they are an "authority" on the subject of rituals end up making a hodge-podge of the different festivals that I end up getting really touchy. I'm not normally a picky person when it comes to how you want to do your ritual - but it still boils down to the whole "Be careful what you wish for - and HOW you wish for it". If you're simply mashing up different ideas and festival precepts because it's easier than opening a book and reading about it, then it follows that your ritual results will be equally as mashed up and indecisive. Not at all good for a quality result...
~M
Go and visit!
So, it's not the BEST thing in the world, but if you have no chance of actually meeting my dear sweet lump of fuzz, you can come and visit her here:
She's an old softie, really - as long as you keep her happy...
This morning found me listening to her as she cried plaintively at the door after I'd left the apartment - It's a wonder the neighbors don't complain about her noise. *chuckle*
She's an old softie, really - as long as you keep her happy...
This morning found me listening to her as she cried plaintively at the door after I'd left the apartment - It's a wonder the neighbors don't complain about her noise. *chuckle*
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Feeling a bit crispy around the edges...
I have this odd feeling that if things don't change soon, I'm going to be completely burned out on this job very soon.
It's not that the company is bad to work for - They're actually pretty accomodating in comparison to most companies. The issues are both the training (or lack thereof) and the fact that I've been on the phones now for the last 8 years. I'm tired - and unfortunately I don't seem to have the "mad skilz" necessary to move from the phones - for several reasons:
1. There's only one open position at the office currently that's off the phones, and they're insisting on a working knowledge of computer software that I have NO clue how to use - and a Bachelor's Degree in the field as well.
2. No one is willing to listen to the fact that this company *really* needs to have a training manual and at least two people strictly for training purposes, in order to have procedures written down, updated, agreed upon with legal, and disceminated throughout the entire staff, from the customer facing level and upwards.
3. No one is interested enough in actually creating a training manual because "things keep changing too much, so it's easier to just do emails" and "there are too many different ways to fix things in the system" and "eventually the software will work the way we want it to, and the manual will be obsolete".
While I know that I can do nothing about a Bachelor's Degree in the field, I do know that I have direct experience in creating training manuals and writing up "official" procedures. I also am MORE than intelligent enough to create and update procedures and policies as they are needed, and have worked with legal departments in the past regarding proper wording on procedures and policies.
I suppose that it's sort of "pollyanna-ish" to think that by getting better training materials, the calls would be miraculously easier... However, I do know that with the proper training, and proper documentation, specific calls would be MUCH easier to handle on a day to day basis.
Honestly, I worked in a call center where they thought policy changes were "easier to do by email" - it wasn't. It was difficult to remember what was going on, and hard to remember which policy changes affected your department or not... As far as there being "too many different ways to fix things in the system" - this would solve it - there would be an "official" way to do things, and only after you'd tried the "official" way would there be further options available to try. MUCH easier than a hodge-podge of different answers, given by different people each time you asked.
A great "for instance" is the following:
Apparently, there is a new set of adjustment guidelines which haven't "officially" been approved yet - BUT - one of my two supervisors has apparently been giving out the information and letting people who ASK go by the new guidelines, and the other hasn't. *NO ONE* has actually been emailed on said guidelines, and today was the first that I'd heard of it...
How about some consistancy, people?! GAH! I'm so tired of the two supervisors, it's not even funny. Mine can't stand the other one (which, honestly, neither can most of the people on the floor because of her demeanor toward us all), so decisions are predominately made based up on a combination of what's acceptable, and whether the other person would say yes or no on the decision.
Rule number ONE in a call center (this is, btw, the same rule number one when dealing with children): Present a united front - it promotes confidence, understanding, and acceptance in general policies and procedures.
Duh.
The list goes on, but honestly, I have a headache and can't seem to think straight at the moment. All I know is that the call center I work in now is, while lenient in areas that are important, lacksidaisical in others when dealing with the public and our outside offices.
~M
It's not that the company is bad to work for - They're actually pretty accomodating in comparison to most companies. The issues are both the training (or lack thereof) and the fact that I've been on the phones now for the last 8 years. I'm tired - and unfortunately I don't seem to have the "mad skilz" necessary to move from the phones - for several reasons:
1. There's only one open position at the office currently that's off the phones, and they're insisting on a working knowledge of computer software that I have NO clue how to use - and a Bachelor's Degree in the field as well.
2. No one is willing to listen to the fact that this company *really* needs to have a training manual and at least two people strictly for training purposes, in order to have procedures written down, updated, agreed upon with legal, and disceminated throughout the entire staff, from the customer facing level and upwards.
3. No one is interested enough in actually creating a training manual because "things keep changing too much, so it's easier to just do emails" and "there are too many different ways to fix things in the system" and "eventually the software will work the way we want it to, and the manual will be obsolete".
While I know that I can do nothing about a Bachelor's Degree in the field, I do know that I have direct experience in creating training manuals and writing up "official" procedures. I also am MORE than intelligent enough to create and update procedures and policies as they are needed, and have worked with legal departments in the past regarding proper wording on procedures and policies.
I suppose that it's sort of "pollyanna-ish" to think that by getting better training materials, the calls would be miraculously easier... However, I do know that with the proper training, and proper documentation, specific calls would be MUCH easier to handle on a day to day basis.
Honestly, I worked in a call center where they thought policy changes were "easier to do by email" - it wasn't. It was difficult to remember what was going on, and hard to remember which policy changes affected your department or not... As far as there being "too many different ways to fix things in the system" - this would solve it - there would be an "official" way to do things, and only after you'd tried the "official" way would there be further options available to try. MUCH easier than a hodge-podge of different answers, given by different people each time you asked.
A great "for instance" is the following:
Apparently, there is a new set of adjustment guidelines which haven't "officially" been approved yet - BUT - one of my two supervisors has apparently been giving out the information and letting people who ASK go by the new guidelines, and the other hasn't. *NO ONE* has actually been emailed on said guidelines, and today was the first that I'd heard of it...
How about some consistancy, people?! GAH! I'm so tired of the two supervisors, it's not even funny. Mine can't stand the other one (which, honestly, neither can most of the people on the floor because of her demeanor toward us all), so decisions are predominately made based up on a combination of what's acceptable, and whether the other person would say yes or no on the decision.
Rule number ONE in a call center (this is, btw, the same rule number one when dealing with children): Present a united front - it promotes confidence, understanding, and acceptance in general policies and procedures.
Duh.
The list goes on, but honestly, I have a headache and can't seem to think straight at the moment. All I know is that the call center I work in now is, while lenient in areas that are important, lacksidaisical in others when dealing with the public and our outside offices.
~M
Witches Weekly!
Hey, look! A new one! After an apparent hiatus from it, the authors of Witches Weekly got some new questions up - so I'm gonna answer them!
What musical album would you define as the one that gets you most spiritually motivated?
Oddly enough, Peter Gabrial's "The Last Temptation of Christ" soundtrack. I find it soul-searching and uplifting all at the same time... I can feel the energy that went into creating such an amazing work, and it literally boils with emotions.
There are other pieces of music that make me feel happy and bubbly, but that's not the same as spiritually motivated or uplifted. LToC has NO lyrics that are discernable, though it does have the nifty addition of a wonderful boy's choir in the midst of it. I don't know how else to define it, honestly... It's Middle East meets Middle Ages Europe meets contemporary rock - and the combination is simply phenomenal. Only Peter Gabrial could have pulled it off, too.
So - if you haven't heard it, I highly recommend it. If you happen across an extra copy of it, I've gone through (literally) 3 of them - people keep taking off with my copies and never giving them back... My birthday is in February, so keep it in mind.
~M
What musical album would you define as the one that gets you most spiritually motivated?
Oddly enough, Peter Gabrial's "The Last Temptation of Christ" soundtrack. I find it soul-searching and uplifting all at the same time... I can feel the energy that went into creating such an amazing work, and it literally boils with emotions.
There are other pieces of music that make me feel happy and bubbly, but that's not the same as spiritually motivated or uplifted. LToC has NO lyrics that are discernable, though it does have the nifty addition of a wonderful boy's choir in the midst of it. I don't know how else to define it, honestly... It's Middle East meets Middle Ages Europe meets contemporary rock - and the combination is simply phenomenal. Only Peter Gabrial could have pulled it off, too.
So - if you haven't heard it, I highly recommend it. If you happen across an extra copy of it, I've gone through (literally) 3 of them - people keep taking off with my copies and never giving them back... My birthday is in February, so keep it in mind.
~M
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I feel the need - the need for merripan!
This is all Lil and Shrike's fault... See HERE for your own...
1 Houston, we have a merripan.
2 Frankly, my dear, I don't give a merripan.
3 Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a merripan!
4 I'm a goddamn marvel of modern merripan.
5 I am big! It's the merripan that got small.
6 They're here already! You're merripan! You're merripan!
7 If you are a minority of one, the merripan is the merripan.
8 One merripan's too many, and a hundred's not enough.
9 I love the smell of merripan in the morning.
10 When there's no more room in hell, the merripan will walk the earth.
11 Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was merripan killed the beast.
12 I'm looking for the Army of the Twelve Merripan.
13 I bet you can squeal like a merripan.
14 I have always depended on the kindness of merripan.
15 Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his merripan.
1 Houston, we have a merripan.
2 Frankly, my dear, I don't give a merripan.
3 Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a merripan!
4 I'm a goddamn marvel of modern merripan.
5 I am big! It's the merripan that got small.
6 They're here already! You're merripan! You're merripan!
7 If you are a minority of one, the merripan is the merripan.
8 One merripan's too many, and a hundred's not enough.
9 I love the smell of merripan in the morning.
10 When there's no more room in hell, the merripan will walk the earth.
11 Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was merripan killed the beast.
12 I'm looking for the Army of the Twelve Merripan.
13 I bet you can squeal like a merripan.
14 I have always depended on the kindness of merripan.
15 Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his merripan.
Pulling together as we go...
Well, I've gotten the patterns I need for the wedding, the vines that I'll need for the dreamcatchers, I've reserved the park for the 23rd of June, and I have the embroidery floss on order for the dreamcatchers. Thankfully, due to the fact that I'll need so much, I got it at 60% off at Fabric Depot. I'll have a few skeins left over, but I have no issues with that - better to be over than under.
I need to meet with Mishu, my "Best Bitch" (I adore that term - so much more fitting for her than a "maid of honor"), for ideas on her dress, and then get started sewing. First things first, however, on the 28th I have to go and copy off all the invites and get painting. SO - there will be a painting party one weekend in February, and a dreamcatcher party probably in March. I'm hoping to get friends over for munchies and to work on them so that I don't have to do everything myself, and so we can hang out... Besides, we can kvetch, which is always fun, and munch on things, which is also always fun.
I ended up being sick from the 2nd of Jan through yesterday. First it was an unknown thing, then they called and said I had a high level of white blood cells, which were most likely an infection of some sort. They call in a script for me, and it makes me sicker than before due to side effects... I've NEVER had *all* the side effects at once, but I don't recommend it, I can tell you that much. Ugh. I finally got released back to work today and am feeling much better.
We're heading out to Courtesan Carnival this weekend, though I'm not sure how that will go. Speedboy has done nothing to really up our confidence regarding his actions both in and out of school, and with how the invites were sent out this year (they sent out invites only to selected people from their list, and no one new got the opportunity to go) Fred and I are reserving our feelings until after the event is over... BUT - if it goes similarly to how it was last year, then we will not be going to another one... FAR too clickish, and there were too many drama issues last year.
There have been other issues going on in our lives of late... Such drama, however, I am not going to post about here - there has been enough of it elsewhere, and to such a degree that I am honestly tired of the entire situation and wish for deafness upon hearing any further remarks about it. Let us simply say that all parties involved really need to drop it at this point and behave, or no fun will be had at all at any of the events - and no one will want to associate with ANY of the parties for fear of the subject coming up and ruining the evening.
All in all, I'm just concentrating on getting my butt into work on time, getting the wedding stuff done, and not going crazy in the process. LOL. At least this time I have people I can ask for help who will actually *be* there for me and won't flake out... Of course, I do need to remember to actually ASK people. LOL.
I need to meet with Mishu, my "Best Bitch" (I adore that term - so much more fitting for her than a "maid of honor"), for ideas on her dress, and then get started sewing. First things first, however, on the 28th I have to go and copy off all the invites and get painting. SO - there will be a painting party one weekend in February, and a dreamcatcher party probably in March. I'm hoping to get friends over for munchies and to work on them so that I don't have to do everything myself, and so we can hang out... Besides, we can kvetch, which is always fun, and munch on things, which is also always fun.
I ended up being sick from the 2nd of Jan through yesterday. First it was an unknown thing, then they called and said I had a high level of white blood cells, which were most likely an infection of some sort. They call in a script for me, and it makes me sicker than before due to side effects... I've NEVER had *all* the side effects at once, but I don't recommend it, I can tell you that much. Ugh. I finally got released back to work today and am feeling much better.
We're heading out to Courtesan Carnival this weekend, though I'm not sure how that will go. Speedboy has done nothing to really up our confidence regarding his actions both in and out of school, and with how the invites were sent out this year (they sent out invites only to selected people from their list, and no one new got the opportunity to go) Fred and I are reserving our feelings until after the event is over... BUT - if it goes similarly to how it was last year, then we will not be going to another one... FAR too clickish, and there were too many drama issues last year.
There have been other issues going on in our lives of late... Such drama, however, I am not going to post about here - there has been enough of it elsewhere, and to such a degree that I am honestly tired of the entire situation and wish for deafness upon hearing any further remarks about it. Let us simply say that all parties involved really need to drop it at this point and behave, or no fun will be had at all at any of the events - and no one will want to associate with ANY of the parties for fear of the subject coming up and ruining the evening.
All in all, I'm just concentrating on getting my butt into work on time, getting the wedding stuff done, and not going crazy in the process. LOL. At least this time I have people I can ask for help who will actually *be* there for me and won't flake out... Of course, I do need to remember to actually ASK people. LOL.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Starting out the New Year in style...
You know - sick. *chuckle* I have no idea what I have, but I'm achy all over and my head hurts.
I sent text messages today saying Happy New Year to people. My brother, K, called me back and we chatted for a good two hours. K and I have never been what you would call close, but we have similar outlooks on life, and tend to leave well enough alone as long as the people in our lives are happy and healthy.
The last email I'd gotten from Mum was rather unflattering regarding him, saying that both Mum and our sister M had pretty much written him off since he'd "refused" to come up and help M move out and settle into the new apartment she'd gotten south of where Mum lives. Turns, out this was yet another case of both miscommunication and sibling bickering.
M had to have her foot pretty well re-created after she'd busted it several months before. She was in hospital for a good week, and then was told not to be on it at all for 10 weeks - a tall order for even the most patient of people. She was doing a sort of "princess and the pea" thing with Mum, causing M to be rushed to emergency care at one point just after being released - because her foot "felt weird". Turns out, nothing at all was wrong with it, other than a lack of attention. *sigh*
So, she decides she's going to move in the midst of her recovery, and calls up K to help her - she's wanting him to come up Christmas Eve and spend the whole weekend there. He's just gotten a new job, and has 3 dogs to take care of on a daily basis (two get medications daily to maintain healthy weight - it's a thyroid thing). He lets her know that he can help, but it would be limited because of said new job, and also the dogs. Her response? "Well, why don't you just put the dogs down, if you can't trust anyone else to take care of them?" He then lets her know that his new girlfriend had invited him down for Christmas Eve dinner at her parents house, so he'd already made plans for that evening - but offers to come up late that evening and spend the night, or just come up early Christmas morning.
His offer is brushed aside with rant from her about how he *always* demands help from them whenever he needs it, but this *one* time, he can't help her out, and goes on further with other stuff that supposedly he's done but hasn't - or that he hasn't done but really has. She finally says that she doesn't really even want to deal with him anymore. His response is natural, and he says "So, what, you want me to drop everything and let my dogs die and lose a job for you? Go screw", and hangs up the phone.
She then turns around in a petty fit of pique and tells Mum that K is going to show up on Christmas Eve. K, meanwhile, ends up heading down to visit his new girlfriend's parents for the evening. Neither M nor Mum call him when he doesn't show up that day, and when he does call to let them know that he's on his way up, both are really snotty with him... Basically ends up telling him that he can do whatever he wants, since obviously he doesn't care about the seriousness of the situation and how much M needs help.
K calls them up the next morning and wishes them a Merry Christmas, and that has been the last that he's really heard from them at all. He basically feels as though the family has pretty much disowned him because of M and her petty bullshit.
People wonder why I have an abandonment issue... This would be why. M has pretty well cornered Mum to a point wherein her entire life is surrounded by M. Mum, feeling guilty about all the things that went on in M's life - that were NOT Mum's fault, nor anything Mum could have ever controlled - allows the guilt to control her and ends up cutting her off from the rest of her children because she's so focused on what M "wants" and what M "needs"...
While talking with K, I found out what happened to my car - the one that M asked to have so that she and the kids could have a fairly decent "tootle-around-town" car that was fairly inexpensive. I handed it over to her, not knowing what else was going on there, since K and I hadn't talked about anything.
Turns out, my car is rusting next to two vehicles that K gave her - a Toyota 4-runner she'd jacked up, and a Cabriolet that ran fairly well, though it was older. M, I'm sure I mentioned this in an earlier rant, after all 3 of those cars were handed to her *free of charge* talked Mum into purchasing a brand new 2006 Kia Sedona minivan, and is "paying her off, when she can". Then, since Mum was using the minivan so often (her own vehicle having had some issues), and the dualie she's been pretty well permanently borrowing from Mum apparently wasn't good enough anymore, she talked her father into purchasing a brand new Nissan Pathfinder for her as well - because, of course, she needs the 4-wheel drive to get her on and off worksites...
Of course, if I should ask for help paying off the student loans, Mum will undoubtedly say she doesn't have the ability to do so. Why? Because she has so much tied up right now already in helping out M and all of the things that have been demanded.
I got off the phone with K and just sat there for a few moments, too stunned to really think straight for a few minutes. Then I couldn't help it - I ranted at Fred for a good hour or so, and burst out crying because I realize now that I really, honestly HATE my sister. I don't just despise her actions anymore - I hate her, and I hate what she's turning Mum into as well, with her constant brainwashing and conditioning of what is and is not the truth...
I feel as though I've lost my mother pretty well completely at this point, as I can't talk with her anymore without M being a party to the conversation - unless I email her. I haven't seen Mum since she came down in September - not for lack of anything but money and time (new jobs tend to take a lot of both at first) - and the visit was quite stilted now that I think back on it.
It's not that I think she doesn't love me anymore, or that she loves me less than she did - I think she's just gotten to a point where she's forgotten that she has anyone else in the family at all...
I hate my sister.
~M
I sent text messages today saying Happy New Year to people. My brother, K, called me back and we chatted for a good two hours. K and I have never been what you would call close, but we have similar outlooks on life, and tend to leave well enough alone as long as the people in our lives are happy and healthy.
The last email I'd gotten from Mum was rather unflattering regarding him, saying that both Mum and our sister M had pretty much written him off since he'd "refused" to come up and help M move out and settle into the new apartment she'd gotten south of where Mum lives. Turns, out this was yet another case of both miscommunication and sibling bickering.
M had to have her foot pretty well re-created after she'd busted it several months before. She was in hospital for a good week, and then was told not to be on it at all for 10 weeks - a tall order for even the most patient of people. She was doing a sort of "princess and the pea" thing with Mum, causing M to be rushed to emergency care at one point just after being released - because her foot "felt weird". Turns out, nothing at all was wrong with it, other than a lack of attention. *sigh*
So, she decides she's going to move in the midst of her recovery, and calls up K to help her - she's wanting him to come up Christmas Eve and spend the whole weekend there. He's just gotten a new job, and has 3 dogs to take care of on a daily basis (two get medications daily to maintain healthy weight - it's a thyroid thing). He lets her know that he can help, but it would be limited because of said new job, and also the dogs. Her response? "Well, why don't you just put the dogs down, if you can't trust anyone else to take care of them?" He then lets her know that his new girlfriend had invited him down for Christmas Eve dinner at her parents house, so he'd already made plans for that evening - but offers to come up late that evening and spend the night, or just come up early Christmas morning.
His offer is brushed aside with rant from her about how he *always* demands help from them whenever he needs it, but this *one* time, he can't help her out, and goes on further with other stuff that supposedly he's done but hasn't - or that he hasn't done but really has. She finally says that she doesn't really even want to deal with him anymore. His response is natural, and he says "So, what, you want me to drop everything and let my dogs die and lose a job for you? Go screw", and hangs up the phone.
She then turns around in a petty fit of pique and tells Mum that K is going to show up on Christmas Eve. K, meanwhile, ends up heading down to visit his new girlfriend's parents for the evening. Neither M nor Mum call him when he doesn't show up that day, and when he does call to let them know that he's on his way up, both are really snotty with him... Basically ends up telling him that he can do whatever he wants, since obviously he doesn't care about the seriousness of the situation and how much M needs help.
K calls them up the next morning and wishes them a Merry Christmas, and that has been the last that he's really heard from them at all. He basically feels as though the family has pretty much disowned him because of M and her petty bullshit.
People wonder why I have an abandonment issue... This would be why. M has pretty well cornered Mum to a point wherein her entire life is surrounded by M. Mum, feeling guilty about all the things that went on in M's life - that were NOT Mum's fault, nor anything Mum could have ever controlled - allows the guilt to control her and ends up cutting her off from the rest of her children because she's so focused on what M "wants" and what M "needs"...
While talking with K, I found out what happened to my car - the one that M asked to have so that she and the kids could have a fairly decent "tootle-around-town" car that was fairly inexpensive. I handed it over to her, not knowing what else was going on there, since K and I hadn't talked about anything.
Turns out, my car is rusting next to two vehicles that K gave her - a Toyota 4-runner she'd jacked up, and a Cabriolet that ran fairly well, though it was older. M, I'm sure I mentioned this in an earlier rant, after all 3 of those cars were handed to her *free of charge* talked Mum into purchasing a brand new 2006 Kia Sedona minivan, and is "paying her off, when she can". Then, since Mum was using the minivan so often (her own vehicle having had some issues), and the dualie she's been pretty well permanently borrowing from Mum apparently wasn't good enough anymore, she talked her father into purchasing a brand new Nissan Pathfinder for her as well - because, of course, she needs the 4-wheel drive to get her on and off worksites...
Of course, if I should ask for help paying off the student loans, Mum will undoubtedly say she doesn't have the ability to do so. Why? Because she has so much tied up right now already in helping out M and all of the things that have been demanded.
I got off the phone with K and just sat there for a few moments, too stunned to really think straight for a few minutes. Then I couldn't help it - I ranted at Fred for a good hour or so, and burst out crying because I realize now that I really, honestly HATE my sister. I don't just despise her actions anymore - I hate her, and I hate what she's turning Mum into as well, with her constant brainwashing and conditioning of what is and is not the truth...
I feel as though I've lost my mother pretty well completely at this point, as I can't talk with her anymore without M being a party to the conversation - unless I email her. I haven't seen Mum since she came down in September - not for lack of anything but money and time (new jobs tend to take a lot of both at first) - and the visit was quite stilted now that I think back on it.
It's not that I think she doesn't love me anymore, or that she loves me less than she did - I think she's just gotten to a point where she's forgotten that she has anyone else in the family at all...
I hate my sister.
~M
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