Starting out the New Year in style...

You know - sick. *chuckle* I have no idea what I have, but I'm achy all over and my head hurts.

I sent text messages today saying Happy New Year to people. My brother, K, called me back and we chatted for a good two hours. K and I have never been what you would call close, but we have similar outlooks on life, and tend to leave well enough alone as long as the people in our lives are happy and healthy.

The last email I'd gotten from Mum was rather unflattering regarding him, saying that both Mum and our sister M had pretty much written him off since he'd "refused" to come up and help M move out and settle into the new apartment she'd gotten south of where Mum lives. Turns, out this was yet another case of both miscommunication and sibling bickering.

M had to have her foot pretty well re-created after she'd busted it several months before. She was in hospital for a good week, and then was told not to be on it at all for 10 weeks - a tall order for even the most patient of people. She was doing a sort of "princess and the pea" thing with Mum, causing M to be rushed to emergency care at one point just after being released - because her foot "felt weird". Turns out, nothing at all was wrong with it, other than a lack of attention. *sigh*

So, she decides she's going to move in the midst of her recovery, and calls up K to help her - she's wanting him to come up Christmas Eve and spend the whole weekend there. He's just gotten a new job, and has 3 dogs to take care of on a daily basis (two get medications daily to maintain healthy weight - it's a thyroid thing). He lets her know that he can help, but it would be limited because of said new job, and also the dogs. Her response? "Well, why don't you just put the dogs down, if you can't trust anyone else to take care of them?" He then lets her know that his new girlfriend had invited him down for Christmas Eve dinner at her parents house, so he'd already made plans for that evening - but offers to come up late that evening and spend the night, or just come up early Christmas morning.

His offer is brushed aside with rant from her about how he *always* demands help from them whenever he needs it, but this *one* time, he can't help her out, and goes on further with other stuff that supposedly he's done but hasn't - or that he hasn't done but really has. She finally says that she doesn't really even want to deal with him anymore. His response is natural, and he says "So, what, you want me to drop everything and let my dogs die and lose a job for you? Go screw", and hangs up the phone.

She then turns around in a petty fit of pique and tells Mum that K is going to show up on Christmas Eve. K, meanwhile, ends up heading down to visit his new girlfriend's parents for the evening. Neither M nor Mum call him when he doesn't show up that day, and when he does call to let them know that he's on his way up, both are really snotty with him... Basically ends up telling him that he can do whatever he wants, since obviously he doesn't care about the seriousness of the situation and how much M needs help.

K calls them up the next morning and wishes them a Merry Christmas, and that has been the last that he's really heard from them at all. He basically feels as though the family has pretty much disowned him because of M and her petty bullshit.

People wonder why I have an abandonment issue... This would be why. M has pretty well cornered Mum to a point wherein her entire life is surrounded by M. Mum, feeling guilty about all the things that went on in M's life - that were NOT Mum's fault, nor anything Mum could have ever controlled - allows the guilt to control her and ends up cutting her off from the rest of her children because she's so focused on what M "wants" and what M "needs"...

While talking with K, I found out what happened to my car - the one that M asked to have so that she and the kids could have a fairly decent "tootle-around-town" car that was fairly inexpensive. I handed it over to her, not knowing what else was going on there, since K and I hadn't talked about anything.

Turns out, my car is rusting next to two vehicles that K gave her - a Toyota 4-runner she'd jacked up, and a Cabriolet that ran fairly well, though it was older. M, I'm sure I mentioned this in an earlier rant, after all 3 of those cars were handed to her *free of charge* talked Mum into purchasing a brand new 2006 Kia Sedona minivan, and is "paying her off, when she can". Then, since Mum was using the minivan so often (her own vehicle having had some issues), and the dualie she's been pretty well permanently borrowing from Mum apparently wasn't good enough anymore, she talked her father into purchasing a brand new Nissan Pathfinder for her as well - because, of course, she needs the 4-wheel drive to get her on and off worksites...

Of course, if I should ask for help paying off the student loans, Mum will undoubtedly say she doesn't have the ability to do so. Why? Because she has so much tied up right now already in helping out M and all of the things that have been demanded.

I got off the phone with K and just sat there for a few moments, too stunned to really think straight for a few minutes. Then I couldn't help it - I ranted at Fred for a good hour or so, and burst out crying because I realize now that I really, honestly HATE my sister. I don't just despise her actions anymore - I hate her, and I hate what she's turning Mum into as well, with her constant brainwashing and conditioning of what is and is not the truth...

I feel as though I've lost my mother pretty well completely at this point, as I can't talk with her anymore without M being a party to the conversation - unless I email her. I haven't seen Mum since she came down in September - not for lack of anything but money and time (new jobs tend to take a lot of both at first) - and the visit was quite stilted now that I think back on it.

It's not that I think she doesn't love me anymore, or that she loves me less than she did - I think she's just gotten to a point where she's forgotten that she has anyone else in the family at all...

I hate my sister.

~M