During the course of my 9 years (yes, NINE!) on the phones being a customer service / tech support rep, I have been presented with a myriad of inane, nay even ridiculous, questions and requests. They have ranged from the typical (I broke my coffee cup holder, and I need help) to the amusing (How do I delete the porn off my wife's work laptop?) to the downright silly (so, when are you off tonight?).
Few, nay I dare say even NONE, came through all during one 8-10 hour shift. Until now. Working at a well-known hospital (and a teaching hospital, at that) can get some rather interesting phone calls in a day - mostly to do with symptoms and the like... And then, there are these little gems. Since I got to endure the pain, now you must endure it as well... My tortured brain-meats, let me show you them...
Hi! Do you have an ER? No, no we don't have an ER. Due to recent budget cuts, we remodelled it into an internet cafe and bookstore. Why? Did you need something? We can get you a good deal on 30 minutes of internet use and an audio book...
Uh, yeah... Do you have, like, doctors? Nope - not as such - but they do play them on TV.
Hi. I'm needing to find a patient. Do you have patients there? Not for the likes of you... OH! You mean people who are sick and are recovering, not patience. Yes, we are a hospital - that's our main bread and butter you're talking about there, bub.
I was wondering if the ambulances go up there? No - they quit after we complained about the noise. Now we have them drop off at the bottom of the hill and the injured people have to hike the last 2 miles on foot.
Is the ER open?(asked at 11pm) No - again, we closed it in order to make room for our new comfy internet cafe and bookstore. Our ER is only open during certain times of the day, and only on days ending in 'R'.
I'm sure that the many people who call in are not this stupid - but it's those who DO call in and DO ask these questions that make me wonder where the gene pool police were. Then there are the OTHER callers - the ones who can't help but ask questions directly of me, and demand that either I answer them, or I get a doctor on the phone immediately (without placing them on hold) to answer said question. Take these tidbits that have come in over the last few months...
(panicked voice on the phone) I need to speak with a doctor right away - I think my child may have taken a methadone tablet and I need to know what to do! First of all, do you honestly believe that taking the extra 5-10 minutes to call someone (besides 911) is going to help the situation any? Secondly, now that we've figured out that you're child is a patient at another clinic, not ours, and you are demanding that a doctor get on the line, you should either be on your way to the ER, or be calling that clinic - our clinic doctors don't give out advice to people outside their clinic. Why? Because they don't have medical history available to diagnose properly. THIRD - I am over 3 miles away from the doctor at the hospital, so there is absolutely NO way I can simply hand the phone over to a doctor without placing you on hold. No, I'm not kidding. No, I would have to place you on hold. No, there's no one in my office that's medically trained that would be able to assist you. NO there - oh. You hung up.
Yes, my child is in a wheelchair due to a disease, and the doctors had to do a surgery to put one of my child's legs back together. The cast they put on broke, and is now pulling the leg off, stitches and all. I need to know whether I should take my child to the ER. Hmmm... You know, even without medical training, I can say pretty honestly that this is a strong candidate for emergency medical attention. There's absolutely NOTHING that a doctor is going to be able to do over the phone, other than tell you to go to the ER. **Ironically, this person hung up on me while I was explaining that I would need to page the doctor on call for the child's doctor, then called back an HOUR later asking the same questions!!**
The following exchanges are also pretty famous... Most people, not just me, get these on a regular basis:
Caller: I need to speak with the doctor on call.
Me: OK - who's the doctor you normally see?
C: I don't know.
M: OK - do you know the clinic name you go to?
C: (insert name of hospital here)
M: OK - that's the name of the hospital, but we have about 40 different clinics within that hospital. I need to know the name of the clinic, in order to get you the doctor on call.
C: Well, I don't know - I go there every week - don't you have medical records?
M: No, sir/ma'am. This is the main switchboard for the hospital. We aren't allowed to access patient records. That's why I need your help.
C: Well, I know the doctor's name began with a "T".
M: OK - was that their first name or last name?
C: I don't know.
M: (internal sigh here) OK - well, is there any paperwork or medication that you can look at that would have the doctor's name on it?
C: Well, let me ask my child - it's their doctor. They go to see the doctor for (insert potentially life-threatening disease here).
M: Ah - that would be the (insert name of clinic here) clinic.
C: Yeah, that's it.
M: (mentally rolling eyes at this point) OK - let me get a few pieces of information here, and I'll be glad to page.
See, there's the issue I have with the previous discussion you just read. Your child has a potentially life-threatening disease. The child is obviously NOT old enough to take themselves to the doctor (or is not capable of doing so). Don't you think that knowing the doctor's name (not to mention the clinic) would be a GOOD THING?
People truly amaze me sometimes. And not in a good way.
~M
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Hey protesters! Try protesting the actual ISSUE!
Recently, Fred and I were informed that a good friend of ours was injured and slowly recovering. Since this friend has been unable to event this year, and *loves* to watch Fire and Steel perform, Fred decided to dedicate one of his moves directly to him. He video-taped the whole performance, and in the midst of it, addressed our friend directly and did the one move that our friend constantly requests: the "Dragon Cascade" - pretty much, it's a fire-breathing move where a continuous stream is let forth while moving the head in a rainbow-type arch, causing it to look rather like a dragon has just flown in and said hello.
It was a nifty idea, and when he got home, Fred put it up on YouTube, LiveLeak, and Break.com, as well as sent a copy to our friend's wife, and over to our friend. And then... the comments came through - two of them QUITE negative.
Why were there *any* negative comments at all? Well, because apparently the peace-loving, crystal-gripping hippies of the U.S. can't seem to differentiate between the WAR, and those serving there.
You see - our friend, known here as Aiden, is currently serving his 2nd tour of duty in the Middle East. His vehicle was hit a month or so ago while en route to another location. He was one of the few lucky ones. Three of his crew didn't make it at all. Three more had amputation-level injuries. Aiden is currently laid up in a hospital, recovering and feeling better than he could have been. And he's doubly-lucky - he lived to be able to see his two small children and his wife again. Something that others weren't able to do.
See - I don't agree with the war. I don't agree with the reasons for it, I don't agree with the reasons why we're staying there. But that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with my feelings for those serving over there. The men and women who have joined the Armed Forces did so for their own reasons - and I have no say over that at all. It's their issue, their thing, and I respect them for choosing it. Why? Because unlike those of us living in civilian comfort, able to protest whatever the fardling hell we want, they have signed away their rights to do so. It's very true - part of the soldier's oath is that they are now property of the US Military and government, and will be sent off and expected to do what they are told to do, where they are told to do it. They do not have the same rights that we do. They cannot - it is a different world within the military, and one that most civilians simply do not, or cannot, understand.
One of the comments went off on Fred for being a war-supporter because he was doing this for a friend who was deeply missed in this part of the world by both friends and family. The commentor went on to say that his tax dollars were being spent on a war he didn't agree with while millions of illegal aliens were allowed into the country, using up all of "HIS" health care. Yeah - and that had absolutely WHAT to do with this video HOW? Further, are you suggesting that if we HADN'T had the war, we wouldn't HAVE millions of illegal aliens in the U.S.?
*THINK* just a minute about your arguments, you crystal-gripping, wire-rimmed-wearing, tree-hugging, lettuce-eating nincompoop! One has absolutely NOTHING to do with the other. And how DARE you, or anyone else, suggest that the men and women serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, or any other high-risk military area in the world today are all gung-ho for the war and our president. Let me tell you something - they have brains, eyes and ears, all of them. While they may not have a choice about serving where they're sent, they have their own opinions on what's going on - you can be sure of that.
Don't like the war? GREAT! Bully for you! But don't drag extraeneous baggage that has nothing to do with the war into your argument. Furthermore, if you don't want your taxes to pay for it - MOVE! I hear Canada is GREAT this time of century. Stay there, and don't come back. You won't be welcome. You should be greatful that you HAVE the opportunity to say what you want, when you want it. Oh, and just as a point of information - the reason you HAVE that right? Yeah, it's because of the men and women who have signed away THEIR rights to help protect ours - including yours, you jackass.
~M
It was a nifty idea, and when he got home, Fred put it up on YouTube, LiveLeak, and Break.com, as well as sent a copy to our friend's wife, and over to our friend. And then... the comments came through - two of them QUITE negative.
Why were there *any* negative comments at all? Well, because apparently the peace-loving, crystal-gripping hippies of the U.S. can't seem to differentiate between the WAR, and those serving there.
You see - our friend, known here as Aiden, is currently serving his 2nd tour of duty in the Middle East. His vehicle was hit a month or so ago while en route to another location. He was one of the few lucky ones. Three of his crew didn't make it at all. Three more had amputation-level injuries. Aiden is currently laid up in a hospital, recovering and feeling better than he could have been. And he's doubly-lucky - he lived to be able to see his two small children and his wife again. Something that others weren't able to do.
See - I don't agree with the war. I don't agree with the reasons for it, I don't agree with the reasons why we're staying there. But that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with my feelings for those serving over there. The men and women who have joined the Armed Forces did so for their own reasons - and I have no say over that at all. It's their issue, their thing, and I respect them for choosing it. Why? Because unlike those of us living in civilian comfort, able to protest whatever the fardling hell we want, they have signed away their rights to do so. It's very true - part of the soldier's oath is that they are now property of the US Military and government, and will be sent off and expected to do what they are told to do, where they are told to do it. They do not have the same rights that we do. They cannot - it is a different world within the military, and one that most civilians simply do not, or cannot, understand.
One of the comments went off on Fred for being a war-supporter because he was doing this for a friend who was deeply missed in this part of the world by both friends and family. The commentor went on to say that his tax dollars were being spent on a war he didn't agree with while millions of illegal aliens were allowed into the country, using up all of "HIS" health care. Yeah - and that had absolutely WHAT to do with this video HOW? Further, are you suggesting that if we HADN'T had the war, we wouldn't HAVE millions of illegal aliens in the U.S.?
*THINK* just a minute about your arguments, you crystal-gripping, wire-rimmed-wearing, tree-hugging, lettuce-eating nincompoop! One has absolutely NOTHING to do with the other. And how DARE you, or anyone else, suggest that the men and women serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, or any other high-risk military area in the world today are all gung-ho for the war and our president. Let me tell you something - they have brains, eyes and ears, all of them. While they may not have a choice about serving where they're sent, they have their own opinions on what's going on - you can be sure of that.
Don't like the war? GREAT! Bully for you! But don't drag extraeneous baggage that has nothing to do with the war into your argument. Furthermore, if you don't want your taxes to pay for it - MOVE! I hear Canada is GREAT this time of century. Stay there, and don't come back. You won't be welcome. You should be greatful that you HAVE the opportunity to say what you want, when you want it. Oh, and just as a point of information - the reason you HAVE that right? Yeah, it's because of the men and women who have signed away THEIR rights to help protect ours - including yours, you jackass.
~M
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Floor? What floor... There is no floor here, only mess.
So, as I have mentioned before, Speedboy decided to spend the school year down with his mom, and do summer stuff with us from this point forward... We decided to take advantage of this, and made plans to clean up (and clear out) his room and use it as a sewing / baby room. Little did we know...
A little over a year ago, I'm sure there was a post that I did that mentioned the horrors of cleaning a teen boy's room. I'd also mentioned that we were going to proverbially string him up should his room end up like what it had been...
Last week, Tuesday, in fact, I started the process of sorting through everything - both in an attempt to get the rest of his clothing down to him within a reasonable amount of time, and to start getting things stored away and un-cluttered from the other parts of the house. 3 bags of garbage later, I finally had 1/3rd of his room clean, had cleared out his closet, and had moved the dresser to another wall after clearing it out. I also set up the crib, boxed up the clothing that was decent, and some of his books, and had stopped - it took about 6-8 hours total, with a few breaks to breath and get away from the messes in there.
Today was Fred's turn, and somehow, I knew he would get the brunt of the mess... I was right:
There was also the issue (I'm also sure I'd mentioned) of him having a habit of hiding his homework, then saying that it was "lost" - and again, he didn't fail us:
So, I've forwarded his secret hidey-hole information to his mum, in an attempt to avoid future issues such as this... Mind you, this is *NOTHING* in comparison to the first time around, and at least we didn't find drug paraphenalia or (in a co-worker of mine's case) finding him *growing* drugs... But it's still annoying.
We're having Salvation Army come by Friday to pick up the mattress and boxspring, as well as the bags of clothes that are simply too small for him to wear (which would be most of what was shoved under the mattress/boxspring).
A positive find through all of this - the tennis shoes I'd purchased him for gym class for Christmas, are still brand-spanking new! And we found them under the bed, too. So, I'll be shipping THEM down, along with other things on this next box shipment. If they don't fit, his brother may be able to wear them, as he's a bit younger, but apparently has bigger feet.
*rolls eyes* I'm so hoping for a girl.
~M
A little over a year ago, I'm sure there was a post that I did that mentioned the horrors of cleaning a teen boy's room. I'd also mentioned that we were going to proverbially string him up should his room end up like what it had been...
Last week, Tuesday, in fact, I started the process of sorting through everything - both in an attempt to get the rest of his clothing down to him within a reasonable amount of time, and to start getting things stored away and un-cluttered from the other parts of the house. 3 bags of garbage later, I finally had 1/3rd of his room clean, had cleared out his closet, and had moved the dresser to another wall after clearing it out. I also set up the crib, boxed up the clothing that was decent, and some of his books, and had stopped - it took about 6-8 hours total, with a few breaks to breath and get away from the messes in there.
Today was Fred's turn, and somehow, I knew he would get the brunt of the mess... I was right:
There was also the issue (I'm also sure I'd mentioned) of him having a habit of hiding his homework, then saying that it was "lost" - and again, he didn't fail us:
So, I've forwarded his secret hidey-hole information to his mum, in an attempt to avoid future issues such as this... Mind you, this is *NOTHING* in comparison to the first time around, and at least we didn't find drug paraphenalia or (in a co-worker of mine's case) finding him *growing* drugs... But it's still annoying.
We're having Salvation Army come by Friday to pick up the mattress and boxspring, as well as the bags of clothes that are simply too small for him to wear (which would be most of what was shoved under the mattress/boxspring).
A positive find through all of this - the tennis shoes I'd purchased him for gym class for Christmas, are still brand-spanking new! And we found them under the bed, too. So, I'll be shipping THEM down, along with other things on this next box shipment. If they don't fit, his brother may be able to wear them, as he's a bit younger, but apparently has bigger feet.
*rolls eyes* I'm so hoping for a girl.
~M
Friday, August 24, 2007
Curiosity gives me hemorages...
I got curious about how much I'm making vs how much I'm paying out in bills, so I wrote down everything and figured it out... As Fred would put it, I'm hemoraging money out the ass...
Between rent, Sallie Mae, the cell phones, and the cable internet, I pay upwards of $1100 per month... My income only gives me about $300 for cushion after everything is paid. Yikes. I can only hope that my income gets better before I go completely nuts.
~M
Between rent, Sallie Mae, the cell phones, and the cable internet, I pay upwards of $1100 per month... My income only gives me about $300 for cushion after everything is paid. Yikes. I can only hope that my income gets better before I go completely nuts.
~M
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...
And there have been a few in the past few days...
Firstly, Fred and I finally got to meet DarkWingedFae and her hubby - a very awesome couple whom we had been chatting with online for a while. I met them at coffee, only to find that her hubby and I had a work history together *chuckle*, and an SCA history together *guffaw*... We've now decided that, between the two of us, we can play "Six Degrees to [insert either of our names here]" anytime we want, but we'll never end up stumping one another. *bwa ha ha ha ha*
The two found out I was going grocery shopping and, when it was also found out that I was going to be taking a cab home (something that I typically do every two weeks), they insisted on taking me grocery shopping and driving me home. They also invited Fred and I to go see "Stardust" (WOWSERS! what a movie!) later with them, which we happily agreed to.
To backtrack just a bit, Monday night Fred and I went out for sushi at our favorite restaurant, and to simply kick back for a bit. In the midst of the kicking back, Fred had mentioned how, since Speedboy had been so much more mature of late down visiting his mom, and since he'd made so many new friends, we might think about letting him stay down there for school, possibly next year...
The idea was first posed to Ana, and then to her family, then to Speedboy. Speedboy apparently thought it was a *grand* idea, but felt that it would be better to start out this year instead, since he'd already made a few friends, and didn't want to miss out on anything.
So, after much discussion, hemming and hawing, and generally considering what would be best for everyone, the decision was made to let Speedboy stay down for the school year. As Fred said, it's time for a clean slate, and it allows him to be himself for once, instead of being what everyone expects him to be like (which was one of the issues he was having up here).
Personally, I look at it like this: If such a suggestion had been put to Speedboy last year, he wouldn't have known what to do - he was still so fearful that he would be sent away, or lose his family (his father in particular), he would have had fits. This year, though, he was able to consider it seriously, look at the different sides of the argument, and make a rational, logical decision based on what he saw as good for him. It shows both a maturity that he's been working on for some time, and that Fred and I haven't been doing half bad in our parenting. Speedboy is comfortable enough to know that, living with his mom isn't going to make Fred go away forever, and it doesn't mean that he's going to lose him. Yay everyone!
The only odd thing now is that we've been so used to having him here with us, we're not quite sure what to do. *chuckle* It's odd to go into his room and see everything completely untouched and tidy... So un-Speedboy-like.
In any case, today I shipped down the pertinent information to get him registered down there, and this weekend we will go through to collect the rest of his clothing, and items he's written down on a list that he'd like for us to ship down. We should be able to do that in a week or so.
And now, my kitchen is calling me, crying out for salvation from dirty dishes...
~M
Firstly, Fred and I finally got to meet DarkWingedFae and her hubby - a very awesome couple whom we had been chatting with online for a while. I met them at coffee, only to find that her hubby and I had a work history together *chuckle*, and an SCA history together *guffaw*... We've now decided that, between the two of us, we can play "Six Degrees to [insert either of our names here]" anytime we want, but we'll never end up stumping one another. *bwa ha ha ha ha*
The two found out I was going grocery shopping and, when it was also found out that I was going to be taking a cab home (something that I typically do every two weeks), they insisted on taking me grocery shopping and driving me home. They also invited Fred and I to go see "Stardust" (WOWSERS! what a movie!) later with them, which we happily agreed to.
To backtrack just a bit, Monday night Fred and I went out for sushi at our favorite restaurant, and to simply kick back for a bit. In the midst of the kicking back, Fred had mentioned how, since Speedboy had been so much more mature of late down visiting his mom, and since he'd made so many new friends, we might think about letting him stay down there for school, possibly next year...
The idea was first posed to Ana, and then to her family, then to Speedboy. Speedboy apparently thought it was a *grand* idea, but felt that it would be better to start out this year instead, since he'd already made a few friends, and didn't want to miss out on anything.
So, after much discussion, hemming and hawing, and generally considering what would be best for everyone, the decision was made to let Speedboy stay down for the school year. As Fred said, it's time for a clean slate, and it allows him to be himself for once, instead of being what everyone expects him to be like (which was one of the issues he was having up here).
Personally, I look at it like this: If such a suggestion had been put to Speedboy last year, he wouldn't have known what to do - he was still so fearful that he would be sent away, or lose his family (his father in particular), he would have had fits. This year, though, he was able to consider it seriously, look at the different sides of the argument, and make a rational, logical decision based on what he saw as good for him. It shows both a maturity that he's been working on for some time, and that Fred and I haven't been doing half bad in our parenting. Speedboy is comfortable enough to know that, living with his mom isn't going to make Fred go away forever, and it doesn't mean that he's going to lose him. Yay everyone!
The only odd thing now is that we've been so used to having him here with us, we're not quite sure what to do. *chuckle* It's odd to go into his room and see everything completely untouched and tidy... So un-Speedboy-like.
In any case, today I shipped down the pertinent information to get him registered down there, and this weekend we will go through to collect the rest of his clothing, and items he's written down on a list that he'd like for us to ship down. We should be able to do that in a week or so.
And now, my kitchen is calling me, crying out for salvation from dirty dishes...
~M
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Glad I brought a book...
Yesterday was my first OB appointment. I met up with some of the nurses and dr's I normally only talk over the phone with, which was cool. So, here's the blow-by-blow...
Got there at 1:20, checked in, and the nurse immediately tried to grab me before I'd even paid my co-pay (apparently they weren't busy at the moment. LOL).
I'd filled out all the questions in my little questionaire, but they didn't even look at it, just asked all the questions verbally... Which made me wonder why the questionaire.
Peed in a cup, got my BP taken (normal), my temp taken (normal) and my weight taken (ACK! I've gained weight! and apparently it's all above the waist!). Sat while they tested for sugar and protien leakage in my pee (nope, everything's fine). Sat to wait for the Resident to come in.
My resident was Dr Galic, who is a very nice, plump, short, East Indian woman. She asks me questions, does a breast exam, and a pelvic exam, including a pap smear. In the midst of setting up for the pap she asks if there's anything she can do to make me more comfortable. My reply "Well, you don't have to do the Pap...". Hey - she asked. Was handed a cup of glucose to drink for the 1 hr glucose test.
Afterwards, we tried to hear the baby's heartbeat with a dopplar, which wasn't cooperating. So, we pulled in a portable ultrasound and looked. I got to see the baby for the first time, as it wiggled and squirmed from being pressed by the ultrasound wand. I giggled, and it squirmed more, so apparently it startles when I laugh. We did get a picture of it, though Dr Galic admitted it is probably the worst pic she's ever taken. You can barely tell anything is there - but since I was there when it was taken, I was able to point out the highlights to Fred (here's the round head, the arm, etc) over dinner.
Got cleaned up from being gooped, and re-dressed, was sent out into the lobby to wait another 30 minutes for the 1 hour glucose test to finish. Was called back into the room and they took 8 vials of blood (they're serious when they're testing for stuff).
Did the check-out interview with Dr Galic, where she let me know to make an ultrasound appointment asap to determine actual size and how far along I am, and then my next appointment with a faculty doc, since I have BCBS, 4 weeks from the 13th.
Went out, got an ultrasound appointment at 8am next Monday, and I'm waiting to hear back on a faculty appointment, since they didn't have any openings at all until after 4 weeks (which is too long).
All said and done, I ended up out of there around 3:30 or so. I'm so glad I brought a book...
~M
Got there at 1:20, checked in, and the nurse immediately tried to grab me before I'd even paid my co-pay (apparently they weren't busy at the moment. LOL).
I'd filled out all the questions in my little questionaire, but they didn't even look at it, just asked all the questions verbally... Which made me wonder why the questionaire.
Peed in a cup, got my BP taken (normal), my temp taken (normal) and my weight taken (ACK! I've gained weight! and apparently it's all above the waist!). Sat while they tested for sugar and protien leakage in my pee (nope, everything's fine). Sat to wait for the Resident to come in.
My resident was Dr Galic, who is a very nice, plump, short, East Indian woman. She asks me questions, does a breast exam, and a pelvic exam, including a pap smear. In the midst of setting up for the pap she asks if there's anything she can do to make me more comfortable. My reply "Well, you don't have to do the Pap...". Hey - she asked. Was handed a cup of glucose to drink for the 1 hr glucose test.
Afterwards, we tried to hear the baby's heartbeat with a dopplar, which wasn't cooperating. So, we pulled in a portable ultrasound and looked. I got to see the baby for the first time, as it wiggled and squirmed from being pressed by the ultrasound wand. I giggled, and it squirmed more, so apparently it startles when I laugh. We did get a picture of it, though Dr Galic admitted it is probably the worst pic she's ever taken. You can barely tell anything is there - but since I was there when it was taken, I was able to point out the highlights to Fred (here's the round head, the arm, etc) over dinner.
Got cleaned up from being gooped, and re-dressed, was sent out into the lobby to wait another 30 minutes for the 1 hour glucose test to finish. Was called back into the room and they took 8 vials of blood (they're serious when they're testing for stuff).
Did the check-out interview with Dr Galic, where she let me know to make an ultrasound appointment asap to determine actual size and how far along I am, and then my next appointment with a faculty doc, since I have BCBS, 4 weeks from the 13th.
Went out, got an ultrasound appointment at 8am next Monday, and I'm waiting to hear back on a faculty appointment, since they didn't have any openings at all until after 4 weeks (which is too long).
All said and done, I ended up out of there around 3:30 or so. I'm so glad I brought a book...
~M
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Fears...
Got an email the other day from an old friend from college days. She's moved across the world and is literally on opposite ends of the earth from where I am currently. We haven't seen one another in over 10 years, yet we have kept up a passing friendship, via email, which is cool.
I told her about my marriage, and our news of the impending new arrival. She said she was glad that I wasn't claiming to be "ready", but that I was instead stating that I was going to do whatever it took to be the best mother I could be. It's something I've always strived for; to be the best [insert whatever here] I could be, whether it was lover, friend, sister, wife, you name it. And yet, I fear...
I have such fears in my life, and they are growing in leaps and bounds the further along I get. I know they come from my own insecurities, and I know that some of them are simply silly - yet they are there. I cannot seem to quell them, to cure them, or even control them at times. They set off the "what-if" button and keep me awake at night. They throw me into mild panic attacks when I'm not busy enough to keep my brain from dwelling soley on them...
I don't know even where to begin with them. I start thinking about making a list, and all of a sudden, the entire lot of them is there, tumbling over my head like an avalanche. It's like taking the bottom can out of a pyramid, and watching the entire group topple over. I fear to even speak of them, because of the possible damage that could occur if I should disturb that one bottom can... If I start talking about them, what happens when I get to the end? Will I have figured out what it is I need to do to fix it? If I haven't, where do I go from there?
Am I honestly ready for any of this? Am I really responsible enough to take care of another person? What if I screw up? What if I can't get over my eating issues? What if something goes wrong with the pregnancy? What happens if I lose my job? Where are we going to get enough room for everyone? Are we going to be able to afford this? Am I going to teach my child my bad habits? Am I going to have temper issues with my child? What if I'm not patient enough, or kind enough, or understanding enough, or firm enough? What if I can't make the time needed to take care of my child properly? What if I'm too patient, too kind, too understanding, not firm enough? Where is the line between being a friend and being a parent? What if I can't breastfeed? What if I can't ask for help? Where are we going to get help when we need it? What if there isn't any help available? What if my mental issues get worse once the baby is born? What if the baby has issues?
There's a thousand more questions running through my head at the moment. It makes me dizzy with the constant circling - like being in the midst of a hurricane. I feel like being pregnant is sort of like being in the eye of the storm; once the contractions start, you step into the swirling mass that *is* the hurricane, and you're battered and blown from one side to the other... If you survive the storm, the aftermath is having an empty nest, knowing that you sent your child out into the world... It terrifies me.
~M
I told her about my marriage, and our news of the impending new arrival. She said she was glad that I wasn't claiming to be "ready", but that I was instead stating that I was going to do whatever it took to be the best mother I could be. It's something I've always strived for; to be the best [insert whatever here] I could be, whether it was lover, friend, sister, wife, you name it. And yet, I fear...
I have such fears in my life, and they are growing in leaps and bounds the further along I get. I know they come from my own insecurities, and I know that some of them are simply silly - yet they are there. I cannot seem to quell them, to cure them, or even control them at times. They set off the "what-if" button and keep me awake at night. They throw me into mild panic attacks when I'm not busy enough to keep my brain from dwelling soley on them...
I don't know even where to begin with them. I start thinking about making a list, and all of a sudden, the entire lot of them is there, tumbling over my head like an avalanche. It's like taking the bottom can out of a pyramid, and watching the entire group topple over. I fear to even speak of them, because of the possible damage that could occur if I should disturb that one bottom can... If I start talking about them, what happens when I get to the end? Will I have figured out what it is I need to do to fix it? If I haven't, where do I go from there?
Am I honestly ready for any of this? Am I really responsible enough to take care of another person? What if I screw up? What if I can't get over my eating issues? What if something goes wrong with the pregnancy? What happens if I lose my job? Where are we going to get enough room for everyone? Are we going to be able to afford this? Am I going to teach my child my bad habits? Am I going to have temper issues with my child? What if I'm not patient enough, or kind enough, or understanding enough, or firm enough? What if I can't make the time needed to take care of my child properly? What if I'm too patient, too kind, too understanding, not firm enough? Where is the line between being a friend and being a parent? What if I can't breastfeed? What if I can't ask for help? Where are we going to get help when we need it? What if there isn't any help available? What if my mental issues get worse once the baby is born? What if the baby has issues?
There's a thousand more questions running through my head at the moment. It makes me dizzy with the constant circling - like being in the midst of a hurricane. I feel like being pregnant is sort of like being in the eye of the storm; once the contractions start, you step into the swirling mass that *is* the hurricane, and you're battered and blown from one side to the other... If you survive the storm, the aftermath is having an empty nest, knowing that you sent your child out into the world... It terrifies me.
~M
Saturday, August 11, 2007
General Flotsom...
Well, EBay decided to take down the "Assault Rock" from their bidding. I am sad - it was funny, but I'm sure that the execs didn't like the fact that the guy was deliberately poking fun at their newest changes in TOC.
In other news, Fred's off again this weekend, this time to The Blackthorn Revel. We talked prior to him leaving and, after considering all the different angles, we ok'd a weekend of play for him. He does an adult fire show in the late evenings, and the sexual tensions afterwards is enough to drive St. Jude nuts, so... I'd rather that he do something safe, sane and consentual (with my consent as well) than wake up the next morning feeling guilty, and having done something that would make for a long explaination. Besides, I totally understand the whole sexual tensions running rampant and causing excess hormones to go wild. I've gotten that just watching some of the show on video. I can't *imagine* what it's like in person.
We're starting to plan for the upcoming camping season already. We sort of have to, since we'll have a baby and there will be a lot of extra stuff that will need to be gotten. We're figuring on 1-2 items each month to be purchased so we have everything ready. A friend of ours has offered up an octogon shade, which I will be attaching sides to, and getting poles for said sides so there will be LOTS of shade for everyone. We also need a MUCH bigger tent, and will need a table... I'll also need new clothing to accomodate breastfeeding (I have plans and ideas... I'll let you know whether they pan out or not)... That said, there's a reason why there's camping gear on one of the baby registries. LOL.
My right nipple had gotten some sort of an infection last week - seems to have cleared up with a liberal dowsing of hydrogen peroxide and antibiotic ointment. It's looking much better and is back to its normal tenderness. I will be asking my OB about that on Monday when I go in to see her. I have a list of things to talk to her about, actually. I've found myself with a body image issue that I don't like, as well as an obsession over my eating habits - also something that disturbs me. I know that a lot of it stems from my eating habits before the weight loss surgery, but I also know that the other part is a fear of turning out like my sister and gaining 90 lb's during the pregnancy. I have the alternate fear, though, as well, which is that I'm losing weight - and every single book I've read so far has stated that there's NO WAY it's a good idea to lose weight while pregnant. So, yeah - body image, eating habits, nutrition, and the like - those will (hopefully) all be discussed when I go in. I know most of the gals up at the clinic, since I talk with them all on an almost daily basis, so I'm not intimidated by them. Which is a Good Thing, since I'm talking a lot about stuff that's normally verbotten in "good" society.
I also will be meeting with my Doula, Tia, on Friday. We scheduled a time so that both Fred and I would be able to talk with her about the dr's appointment, how it went, what was suggested, and what's going on. Also, so that if Fred has questions, he can ask them. I've also scheduled a water birthing class for a Tuesday night in December. I don't want to do it anytime soon, since I'd most likely forget a lot of what the class went over - but December seems to be a good time, I think. It's not too far away from the EDD, but it's far enough away that I shouldn't be going into labor at that point, either. Next is to save up for the Childbirth A-Z class, which will cause me to have to take 1/2 days off from work on the weekend - but that's fine. The trick is to get the $95, and then pick a date that is going to work for both Fred and I. I'm also going to take a tour of the birthing area up at OHSU, so I can *hopefully* meet some of the gals I talk with up there, and see what it's like up there.
On a completely different note, Shady is doing much better. She's quite talkative, and snuggles with me whenever she can. She's gotten to a point now where if I'm lying on my sort-of side, she lays across my belly, a very protective look on her face. It's adorable. She's really curious as to why I'm getting bigger, but only there. Also, why I smell different. She's eating better, and seems to be going to the bathroom better, too. Which reminds me, I need to give her her medicine now.
So, am off to do that and go in search of food. Mmmmm, food...
~M
In other news, Fred's off again this weekend, this time to The Blackthorn Revel. We talked prior to him leaving and, after considering all the different angles, we ok'd a weekend of play for him. He does an adult fire show in the late evenings, and the sexual tensions afterwards is enough to drive St. Jude nuts, so... I'd rather that he do something safe, sane and consentual (with my consent as well) than wake up the next morning feeling guilty, and having done something that would make for a long explaination. Besides, I totally understand the whole sexual tensions running rampant and causing excess hormones to go wild. I've gotten that just watching some of the show on video. I can't *imagine* what it's like in person.
We're starting to plan for the upcoming camping season already. We sort of have to, since we'll have a baby and there will be a lot of extra stuff that will need to be gotten. We're figuring on 1-2 items each month to be purchased so we have everything ready. A friend of ours has offered up an octogon shade, which I will be attaching sides to, and getting poles for said sides so there will be LOTS of shade for everyone. We also need a MUCH bigger tent, and will need a table... I'll also need new clothing to accomodate breastfeeding (I have plans and ideas... I'll let you know whether they pan out or not)... That said, there's a reason why there's camping gear on one of the baby registries. LOL.
My right nipple had gotten some sort of an infection last week - seems to have cleared up with a liberal dowsing of hydrogen peroxide and antibiotic ointment. It's looking much better and is back to its normal tenderness. I will be asking my OB about that on Monday when I go in to see her. I have a list of things to talk to her about, actually. I've found myself with a body image issue that I don't like, as well as an obsession over my eating habits - also something that disturbs me. I know that a lot of it stems from my eating habits before the weight loss surgery, but I also know that the other part is a fear of turning out like my sister and gaining 90 lb's during the pregnancy. I have the alternate fear, though, as well, which is that I'm losing weight - and every single book I've read so far has stated that there's NO WAY it's a good idea to lose weight while pregnant. So, yeah - body image, eating habits, nutrition, and the like - those will (hopefully) all be discussed when I go in. I know most of the gals up at the clinic, since I talk with them all on an almost daily basis, so I'm not intimidated by them. Which is a Good Thing, since I'm talking a lot about stuff that's normally verbotten in "good" society.
I also will be meeting with my Doula, Tia, on Friday. We scheduled a time so that both Fred and I would be able to talk with her about the dr's appointment, how it went, what was suggested, and what's going on. Also, so that if Fred has questions, he can ask them. I've also scheduled a water birthing class for a Tuesday night in December. I don't want to do it anytime soon, since I'd most likely forget a lot of what the class went over - but December seems to be a good time, I think. It's not too far away from the EDD, but it's far enough away that I shouldn't be going into labor at that point, either. Next is to save up for the Childbirth A-Z class, which will cause me to have to take 1/2 days off from work on the weekend - but that's fine. The trick is to get the $95, and then pick a date that is going to work for both Fred and I. I'm also going to take a tour of the birthing area up at OHSU, so I can *hopefully* meet some of the gals I talk with up there, and see what it's like up there.
On a completely different note, Shady is doing much better. She's quite talkative, and snuggles with me whenever she can. She's gotten to a point now where if I'm lying on my sort-of side, she lays across my belly, a very protective look on her face. It's adorable. She's really curious as to why I'm getting bigger, but only there. Also, why I smell different. She's eating better, and seems to be going to the bathroom better, too. Which reminds me, I need to give her her medicine now.
So, am off to do that and go in search of food. Mmmmm, food...
~M
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
This is almost as good as the wedding dress...
Apparently EBay has been cracking down on the sale of weapons... Specifically guns, apparently. Now, while I can (sort of) understand the crack-down (let's face it, the internet is still a fairly anonymous place out there, and plenty of people have access to plenty of OTHER people's ID's to say it's really them), there's still an issue of having the right to buy and sell weapons...
Along comes THIS little wonder. You will marvel, you will be astounded - frankly, you will be giggling your way through this particular ad. Apparently, it's completely legit (or else EBay would be down on this seller like a color on a food), but it's still amusing. I'm specifically amused by some of the comments that the seller has seen fit to add at the bottom.
So, please - if you need a laugh, go ahead - click that link!
~M
Along comes THIS little wonder. You will marvel, you will be astounded - frankly, you will be giggling your way through this particular ad. Apparently, it's completely legit (or else EBay would be down on this seller like a color on a food), but it's still amusing. I'm specifically amused by some of the comments that the seller has seen fit to add at the bottom.
So, please - if you need a laugh, go ahead - click that link!
~M
Monday, August 06, 2007
Reprieve...
So, the vet says that if we give Shady the Lactulose (a major stool softener), as well as continue on with her normal food regimine, Shady should be fine. It apparently isn't a prolapse, or if it is, the vet doesn't feel that it's overly concerning at this point because it's so small... And the Lactulose should help with everything, as long as we keep her on a daily routine of giving it to her twice a day.
She hates it, but she quickly forgives me for giving her the nasty, sticky crap. I tried talking to her last night, and telling her if she really *did* need to leave, then we understood and it was ok... Don't ever tell me that pets can't understand waht you're saying. She got up, glared at me, and went to a corner to sulk, back turned toward me for a good two hours. Every so often she'd look over her shoulder as if to say "See? This is what I think of THAT suggestion!". She forgave me an hour after she came out of the corner, and has been quietly talking to me ("mrrrp - murple-murp") ever since.
I do know that it's only a matter of time, and I am (mostly) ok with letting her go. However, if the vet feels that she's going to do fine with something as unintrusive as Lactulose and the occasional sub-q, then I will do that - obviously, SHE feels fairly strongly currently about NOT leaving quite yet.
~M
She hates it, but she quickly forgives me for giving her the nasty, sticky crap. I tried talking to her last night, and telling her if she really *did* need to leave, then we understood and it was ok... Don't ever tell me that pets can't understand waht you're saying. She got up, glared at me, and went to a corner to sulk, back turned toward me for a good two hours. Every so often she'd look over her shoulder as if to say "See? This is what I think of THAT suggestion!". She forgave me an hour after she came out of the corner, and has been quietly talking to me ("mrrrp - murple-murp") ever since.
I do know that it's only a matter of time, and I am (mostly) ok with letting her go. However, if the vet feels that she's going to do fine with something as unintrusive as Lactulose and the occasional sub-q, then I will do that - obviously, SHE feels fairly strongly currently about NOT leaving quite yet.
~M
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Sadness...
It seemed for a while that Shady was getting better... Unfortunately, it seems as though the impacted and distended bowel she had been diagnosed with and suffering from for some time now has caught up with her. She now has the beginnings of a prolapsed colon, and there is no way to fix it without major surgery - which she is too old to endure.
Monday morning we will be calling the local vet to get a prognosis and possibly to send her to sleep. She is in such pain and is so uncomfortable - neither Fred nor I can stand seeing her like this any further. Her quality of life has gone to a point of almost nonexistance.
I feel so blessed to have had her in my life for 21 years, and Fred fell in love with her when he first met her 2 years ago; he has continued his adoration throughout her trials and troubles. Yet, at the same time, I feel an immense emptiness in my heart at thinking of her not being there when I get home at night, of not having my head stepped on in the morning during her demand for food...
I know that it will be for the best, as she does not deserve to live in pain, but instead have dignity and love, remembering both Fred and myself as loving creatures who cared for her to the very end. It does not, however, lessen the grief we both feel at having to say goodbye. We were both hoping to have her for a few months longer, at least until the baby arrived.
I will be holding her to me for as long as I can, cuddling her to me and making sure she knows I love her. And we shall see...
Images
Silken fur
Green-gold eyes
Pretty poses all for mama
Head bumps
purrs of love
Paws patting on face
Scolding when late
Inspecting paintjobs
Climbing ladders for high perches
Jack-rabbit long legs
big, big ears
long tail wrapped around you
Toilet-paddler
midnight butter-eater
finicky kibble-muncher
Brat-Catt
Rumple-furr
Pantaloon-butt
My kitten
My sweet-face
My dearest sweet babu
21 years young
Venerable ancient one
Shades of Bell - my loving sorrow
~M
Monday morning we will be calling the local vet to get a prognosis and possibly to send her to sleep. She is in such pain and is so uncomfortable - neither Fred nor I can stand seeing her like this any further. Her quality of life has gone to a point of almost nonexistance.
I feel so blessed to have had her in my life for 21 years, and Fred fell in love with her when he first met her 2 years ago; he has continued his adoration throughout her trials and troubles. Yet, at the same time, I feel an immense emptiness in my heart at thinking of her not being there when I get home at night, of not having my head stepped on in the morning during her demand for food...
I know that it will be for the best, as she does not deserve to live in pain, but instead have dignity and love, remembering both Fred and myself as loving creatures who cared for her to the very end. It does not, however, lessen the grief we both feel at having to say goodbye. We were both hoping to have her for a few months longer, at least until the baby arrived.
I will be holding her to me for as long as I can, cuddling her to me and making sure she knows I love her. And we shall see...
Images
Silken fur
Green-gold eyes
Pretty poses all for mama
Head bumps
purrs of love
Paws patting on face
Scolding when late
Inspecting paintjobs
Climbing ladders for high perches
Jack-rabbit long legs
big, big ears
long tail wrapped around you
Toilet-paddler
midnight butter-eater
finicky kibble-muncher
Brat-Catt
Rumple-furr
Pantaloon-butt
My kitten
My sweet-face
My dearest sweet babu
21 years young
Venerable ancient one
Shades of Bell - my loving sorrow
~M
Friday, August 03, 2007
Baby Shower Info
So, here's the current scoop on the baby stuff:
We are registered at:
JCPenny
Babies "R" Us Registry #: 50176231
Target
Fabric Depot (email address merripanbaval@comcast.net)
Each of them has different things (I hope), so there should be no duplicates in gifting or anything. If there's something that you want to get that you don't see on the list, feel free. I've attempted to get everything I *think* I'll need - but then again, this is a first-time thing for me, so I could have missed something. *chuckle*
We are also looking at the different options for baby memory (1-5 years) books. So far, the options that I've seen that I like the most are the following (in no particular order):
Sweet Pea Baby Record Book
Welcome To This World
Zoophabet Baby Memory Book
I like them all, and all for different reasons. Fred and I need to sit down and do a pow-wow over which one we should ask for/get.
We've designed the Baby Shower invites. I'm really happy with them, as is Fred. They're a simple, 1/2 page design, with hearts and rattles drawn and painted on it. Nothing fancy, but it's special, none-the-less. WE NOW HAVE A SITE!!! Raistlin, a good friend of ours, has set up a room at the Shilo Inn Beaverton, with catering. So - we're ready to go. We're planning (as I mentioned earlier) for the shower to be on Nov 3rd, which means that we have to have a place set up and done by early September. That way, we can mail everything out by September 15th. RSVP's will need to be back by October 20th.
Something that's sort-of and sort-of not related to the baby stuff - Fred and I need a new bed frame. Ours is dying quickly, and we cannot afford to get another one without help. If you would like to donate to our cause for better sleep with no squeeks or breaking, please drop a line. Our friends Loki and Celeste have promised a custom-built home-made bed frame for $250, which is a little out of our reach at the moment with other bills coming up, but is about the same as a fairly sturdy "cookie-cutter" model we'd find elsewhere. Thankfully, our mattress is still pretty good, so we're ok there.
This will be updated on a *fairly* regular basis, so if you can't find the info, just check over to the left, and the link for Baby Stuff will be there. :-)
~M
We are registered at:
JCPenny
Babies "R" Us Registry #: 50176231
Target
Fabric Depot (email address merripanbaval@comcast.net)
Each of them has different things (I hope), so there should be no duplicates in gifting or anything. If there's something that you want to get that you don't see on the list, feel free. I've attempted to get everything I *think* I'll need - but then again, this is a first-time thing for me, so I could have missed something. *chuckle*
We are also looking at the different options for baby memory (1-5 years) books. So far, the options that I've seen that I like the most are the following (in no particular order):
Sweet Pea Baby Record Book
Welcome To This World
Zoophabet Baby Memory Book
I like them all, and all for different reasons. Fred and I need to sit down and do a pow-wow over which one we should ask for/get.
We've designed the Baby Shower invites. I'm really happy with them, as is Fred. They're a simple, 1/2 page design, with hearts and rattles drawn and painted on it. Nothing fancy, but it's special, none-the-less. WE NOW HAVE A SITE!!! Raistlin, a good friend of ours, has set up a room at the Shilo Inn Beaverton, with catering. So - we're ready to go. We're planning (as I mentioned earlier) for the shower to be on Nov 3rd, which means that we have to have a place set up and done by early September. That way, we can mail everything out by September 15th. RSVP's will need to be back by October 20th.
Something that's sort-of and sort-of not related to the baby stuff - Fred and I need a new bed frame. Ours is dying quickly, and we cannot afford to get another one without help. If you would like to donate to our cause for better sleep with no squeeks or breaking, please drop a line. Our friends Loki and Celeste have promised a custom-built home-made bed frame for $250, which is a little out of our reach at the moment with other bills coming up, but is about the same as a fairly sturdy "cookie-cutter" model we'd find elsewhere. Thankfully, our mattress is still pretty good, so we're ok there.
This will be updated on a *fairly* regular basis, so if you can't find the info, just check over to the left, and the link for Baby Stuff will be there. :-)
~M
Baby goodness...
So, Fred and I have decided on a date for the baby shower. We didn't want to have it so far in the future to join forces with the actual birth, but didn't want it so near that it was going to be impossible to achieve.
That being said, we chose November 3rd for the date. It's on a Saturday, and in the mid-afternoon, so most people will be able to make it with very little problem (I say *most* because I personally will have to take time off in order to make sure I can be there myself. LOL). It's going to be a gender-neutral, co-ed party, the place being yet to be decided...
Speaking of which, if you'd like to put a vote in for someplace that will hold around 20-30 people for a few hours, that's indoors (It'll be November, folks), is easy to get to, and is either *uber-cheap* or free to rent, please drop a line. I'm needing ideas - my brain died.
We've been registering at all the top spots for baby stuff. I'll put together a list and post it here as I get to it. I'm now at 15 weeks (give or take), so we have plenty of time for people to look around and see what is available in their price range, should you decide to get us stuff.
~M
That being said, we chose November 3rd for the date. It's on a Saturday, and in the mid-afternoon, so most people will be able to make it with very little problem (I say *most* because I personally will have to take time off in order to make sure I can be there myself. LOL). It's going to be a gender-neutral, co-ed party, the place being yet to be decided...
Speaking of which, if you'd like to put a vote in for someplace that will hold around 20-30 people for a few hours, that's indoors (It'll be November, folks), is easy to get to, and is either *uber-cheap* or free to rent, please drop a line. I'm needing ideas - my brain died.
We've been registering at all the top spots for baby stuff. I'll put together a list and post it here as I get to it. I'm now at 15 weeks (give or take), so we have plenty of time for people to look around and see what is available in their price range, should you decide to get us stuff.
~M
Twenty Questions?
Fred and I went wandering through Walgreens together today. He was looking for a new ink cartridge, and I was browsing. In the toy section, because I love anything with buttons, I found THIS little item, and proceeded to attempt to stump it.
I couldn't help but win - you see, I have a dirty mind. The answer was a collar... The machine got up to 25 questions before it gave up. It came up with a slinky at one point - close, but not close enough.
I have to say, if someone has made an "adult" version of this, please send the link my way. I have a strange need to try it at parties, if only to get laughs.
~M
I couldn't help but win - you see, I have a dirty mind. The answer was a collar... The machine got up to 25 questions before it gave up. It came up with a slinky at one point - close, but not close enough.
I have to say, if someone has made an "adult" version of this, please send the link my way. I have a strange need to try it at parties, if only to get laughs.
~M
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Introspection...
Sort of... You see, there's been a lot of changes in my life (our lives, really) in the last few months. I've been wanting to get them all down and figure out what is in my head. I already know (pretty much) what's in Fred's head. While I don't claim to always understand it, I know what is in there. LOL.
So, firstly, there was the news that I'm pregnant. I'm getting to a point now where I'm used to the idea, and excited about being a mommy. I'm not kidding myself into thinking I'm "ready" by any means, but I'm more than willing to do my best - which is all any parent can do. Fred's excited as well. As I wrote in a previous post, he told *everyone* he could at The Gathering that we were expecting. I've gotten nothing but the best of support from him, and I am so, so proud and thankful to have him in my life. I could not have asked for a better partner.
Speaking of The Gathering, and the rest of the SCA events, we are heading to 1 SCA event together, and that's it, this year. *sigh* Unfortunately, due to work (specifically a new job I just started), I am unable to take all the time off I'd want in order to go to said events. Even so, I know that Fred's had a fairly good time - although he's not slept very well, and neither have I.
One of the things that we did end up doing was deciding on an event-by-event basis as to whether he had a bed-warmer. I'm not normally a horribly jealous person, but I did have some issues with this arrangement as it got closer to each event. I am ashamed to say it, but I actually broke down in tears at one point about it. I'm blaming it on hormones due to the baby, but I also know that in the past, with other relationships, there have been issues introducing a bed-warmer to the mix - no matter how casual. Fred has decided that Sea Dogs would be the last event that he did that, much to both my relief and chagrin.
On the upshot, the gal that he ended up with for the events is very nice, not looking for a relationship, and seems to be genuinely interested in making friends. So, I'm not as intimidated with the whole situation as I had been. I think it was the unknown, as well as the possible hurt/loss that was going on in my head.
One of the things that I've always known about having either a monogomous relationship, an open relationship or a poly relationship (in my eyes, there's a distinct difference between open or poly), is that there has to be trust, love, and the 3 c's: Communication, communication, communication. LOL. It's not simple, it's not easy, and it's not without it's misunderstandings. However, I have seen poly relationships work, and I have to say that I am in awe of those who are both willing and capable of doing what they can to maintain said relationships. It can be extremely rewarding to everyone concerned. I'm not sure it's for me, but it's definitely something that is workable, if all parties are willing.
In any case, long story short, I'm glad that he did find someone that seems to be so cool, and we're inviting her over for dinner so that we can get to know her better.
Work is going ok - I have been sick the past two days with a sinus infection that has beaten me down to a pulp. I was to have covered a shift Monday and Tuesday, and instead was home, sick and miserable. I have to say, I dislike the excessive rules and exceptions that have been put in place regarding calling out some of the on/call people and their groups. It's incredible, the number of things that is required to remember - and if you fail to remember one thing, you will get coached on it. I've only been there 4 months as of tomorrow, but it's been a mind-boggling trip so far - especially when my memory seems to be so sadly lacking of late (they say that will change in about 19 years, once the baby is out of the house. LOL).
I've quit the Mothering.com site. After the last posting about marijuana usage while pregnant, I just couldn't stay there any further. I knew it wasn't a good place for me. I'm sorry, but I just can't agree with it. The ONE study they were quoting constantly was done in Jamaica, with the support of the March of Dimes, and featured a total of 43 subjects. It wasn't even a 10th of the population. I agree with the fact that so far, nothing "difinitive" has been found, but at the same time, I have seen the effects of long-term marijuana usage, and I won't be supportive of its use without strict guidelines from both a Dr and midwife. I also know that the FDA has refused to legalize it at this time NOT because of any moral judgement, but because each plant has its own level of toxicity - until they can have the same toxicity every time, they cannot do studies to prove it's safety, or lack thereof. A gal at work, who is studying to become a midwife, said the following: Until you can guarantee that everything about the plant is exactly the same each time, and unless you have both a midwife and Dr working with you constantly, you have no business using it.
I had other issues with that site, though. They absolutely refused to discuss any type of vaccinations (voluntary was ok, but no mandatory vaccs), circumcisions (which I don't believe in, but let's not just completely NOT talk about it, ok folks?), abortion, or anything that would "negatively impact the full mothering experience"... It was just a very odd place to be in, especially when I didn't feel that ANY of those subjects should be "banned" from a site because "no one" there believes in them. From my perspective, all of them have valid points to discuss, and none of them should negatively impact anything, if they are discussed with a modicum of respect and thought. Of course, I've never been one to hold my tongue if I feel strongly about something. I may tactfully suggest something, but I won't hold my tongue. Apparently, however, that's just not allowed. So, adios, pepe.
I get my health insurance today, so I will be calling to make an appointment asap to check out what's going on with my little bean. I still haven't gotten the insurance CARDS yet, but I have my membership number, so it should work... right? Hopefully.
And off I go to get something to eat, and then make some phone calls...
~M
So, firstly, there was the news that I'm pregnant. I'm getting to a point now where I'm used to the idea, and excited about being a mommy. I'm not kidding myself into thinking I'm "ready" by any means, but I'm more than willing to do my best - which is all any parent can do. Fred's excited as well. As I wrote in a previous post, he told *everyone* he could at The Gathering that we were expecting. I've gotten nothing but the best of support from him, and I am so, so proud and thankful to have him in my life. I could not have asked for a better partner.
Speaking of The Gathering, and the rest of the SCA events, we are heading to 1 SCA event together, and that's it, this year. *sigh* Unfortunately, due to work (specifically a new job I just started), I am unable to take all the time off I'd want in order to go to said events. Even so, I know that Fred's had a fairly good time - although he's not slept very well, and neither have I.
One of the things that we did end up doing was deciding on an event-by-event basis as to whether he had a bed-warmer. I'm not normally a horribly jealous person, but I did have some issues with this arrangement as it got closer to each event. I am ashamed to say it, but I actually broke down in tears at one point about it. I'm blaming it on hormones due to the baby, but I also know that in the past, with other relationships, there have been issues introducing a bed-warmer to the mix - no matter how casual. Fred has decided that Sea Dogs would be the last event that he did that, much to both my relief and chagrin.
On the upshot, the gal that he ended up with for the events is very nice, not looking for a relationship, and seems to be genuinely interested in making friends. So, I'm not as intimidated with the whole situation as I had been. I think it was the unknown, as well as the possible hurt/loss that was going on in my head.
One of the things that I've always known about having either a monogomous relationship, an open relationship or a poly relationship (in my eyes, there's a distinct difference between open or poly), is that there has to be trust, love, and the 3 c's: Communication, communication, communication. LOL. It's not simple, it's not easy, and it's not without it's misunderstandings. However, I have seen poly relationships work, and I have to say that I am in awe of those who are both willing and capable of doing what they can to maintain said relationships. It can be extremely rewarding to everyone concerned. I'm not sure it's for me, but it's definitely something that is workable, if all parties are willing.
In any case, long story short, I'm glad that he did find someone that seems to be so cool, and we're inviting her over for dinner so that we can get to know her better.
Work is going ok - I have been sick the past two days with a sinus infection that has beaten me down to a pulp. I was to have covered a shift Monday and Tuesday, and instead was home, sick and miserable. I have to say, I dislike the excessive rules and exceptions that have been put in place regarding calling out some of the on/call people and their groups. It's incredible, the number of things that is required to remember - and if you fail to remember one thing, you will get coached on it. I've only been there 4 months as of tomorrow, but it's been a mind-boggling trip so far - especially when my memory seems to be so sadly lacking of late (they say that will change in about 19 years, once the baby is out of the house. LOL).
I've quit the Mothering.com site. After the last posting about marijuana usage while pregnant, I just couldn't stay there any further. I knew it wasn't a good place for me. I'm sorry, but I just can't agree with it. The ONE study they were quoting constantly was done in Jamaica, with the support of the March of Dimes, and featured a total of 43 subjects. It wasn't even a 10th of the population. I agree with the fact that so far, nothing "difinitive" has been found, but at the same time, I have seen the effects of long-term marijuana usage, and I won't be supportive of its use without strict guidelines from both a Dr and midwife. I also know that the FDA has refused to legalize it at this time NOT because of any moral judgement, but because each plant has its own level of toxicity - until they can have the same toxicity every time, they cannot do studies to prove it's safety, or lack thereof. A gal at work, who is studying to become a midwife, said the following: Until you can guarantee that everything about the plant is exactly the same each time, and unless you have both a midwife and Dr working with you constantly, you have no business using it.
I had other issues with that site, though. They absolutely refused to discuss any type of vaccinations (voluntary was ok, but no mandatory vaccs), circumcisions (which I don't believe in, but let's not just completely NOT talk about it, ok folks?), abortion, or anything that would "negatively impact the full mothering experience"... It was just a very odd place to be in, especially when I didn't feel that ANY of those subjects should be "banned" from a site because "no one" there believes in them. From my perspective, all of them have valid points to discuss, and none of them should negatively impact anything, if they are discussed with a modicum of respect and thought. Of course, I've never been one to hold my tongue if I feel strongly about something. I may tactfully suggest something, but I won't hold my tongue. Apparently, however, that's just not allowed. So, adios, pepe.
I get my health insurance today, so I will be calling to make an appointment asap to check out what's going on with my little bean. I still haven't gotten the insurance CARDS yet, but I have my membership number, so it should work... right? Hopefully.
And off I go to get something to eat, and then make some phone calls...
~M
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
