Admitting defeat...

I finally broke down yesterday and got signed up for counselling. I have been fighting with the post-partum for a while now, and I just can't seem to get through it on my own. I know now that I cannot do this without help and, while I *HATE* asking for help, I must do so in order to be healthy for everyone.

The scariest part was admitting to Fred that I was needing it, and why. I would never, ever hurt Elizabeth - not even on my worst days. If things get out of control and frustrating, I simply put her safely into her crib and give myself a 10-minute time out, then try again. Hurting myself, on the other hand, is getting to be a more and more acceptable idea - and that's not good for anyone.

So, I have a phone counselling session today, and I am making appointments for regular visits with a counsellor starting as soon as possible... We shall see. I hope, for everyone's sake, that this works. I don't want to be thrown into the looney bin, or lose Elizabeth. However, I know that I can't do this on my own anymore - and while Fred is great, I need to talk with someone outside the picture this time...

Wish me luck...

~M