On to the ricockulous...

Because it's beyond ridiculous...

Got a text message from my mother yesterday informing me that she hoped the baby would be late, as she wouldn't be able to get away and come down until at least the 8th of Feb, and would only be able to stay until the 15th...

I'm inclined to tell her not to even bother.

Honestly, I'm not sure she understands that I'm even *in* the family at this point... She's so wrapped up with taking care of my sister and her kids - that's why she can't get away. Mel can't seem to keep her 15-year-old under a modicum of control and personally responsible for herself and her actions, and "can't" find a daycare program that she likes for the 3-year-old. Thus, my mother chooses to drive back and forth between Pt Townsend and Seattle each week and takes care of the kids while Mel goes either to work (dump truck driver, union, makes $28-$32/hr) or to physical therapy for her foot - which she's been nursing for a year or more.

Whenever I point out that Mel is a grown woman, and should be capable of taking care of her kids herself, Mom plays the guilt card, stating that Mel is a single parent, can't do everything by herself, blah blah blah... She's done this for the past 10 years, and probably will not stop until she dies of an overdose from travel.

Since Mel had such a "terrible" childhood (parents divorced when she was 9, was beaten regularly by father, chose to live on streets by 13 to avoid her "horrible" step-father [my dad] and her horrible father), and mum couldn't fix it, she feels it necessary to do everything she possibly can to "fix" things now... And Mel, since she had such a terrible childhood, and mum didn't fix it, feels she is entitled to everything she possibly can get from the world - and is training her children to be the same way.

Never mind that Mel had a choice when she decided to live on the streets - she could have lived with either our grandmother, or live with my father and our mother. However, she would have had to live with rules she didn't want to live by... like going to school, getting decent grades, getting a job if she wanted extra money, etc... All those horrible things that a responsible young adult does as they grow up and learn to live on their own in the world...

Rather than do that, Mel chose to live on the streets by her own rules, and ended up on drugs and alcohol by the time she was 16, and didn't get clean until she was 26. Our mother blames herself for Mel's past choices and Mel's father being a child- and wife-beater, so as I mentioned before, she is attoning for her past "sins".

Since I had 2 parents my whole life, neither of whom beat or abused me, apparently I don't need to have the support that my sister does... And while my mother feels guilty about it, she consoles herself with the fact that my upbringing was so much better than Mel's, and I didn't have the issues that Mel had growing up.

I got so angry (and am STILL so angry about it), I felt like screaming. Last night, however, had an odd dream with Dad in it. He showed up and we spoke for about two hours about it - the upshot was that he told me even if Mom wasn't there, he would be. Before you think this is a "normal" thing, Dad passed away in '94... So, it was rather bizarre.

There's something not quite right with a family where you can rely more on your dead relatives than you can on your live ones...

~M