And they weren't any easier last night, either. At 11:22pm, my dear cat Shady passed away in the arms of my beloved husband, Fred. Unfortunately, I was still waiting for the bus to pick me up from work so I could make it home, so I wasn't able to touch her prior to her passing.
Death is never easy, and even less so when the one leaving has been with you a long time. I'd had Shady since I was 12 years old, and she was barely 4 months old. That means she was 21 when she passed away, a long and decidedly full life lived.
The only times we weren't together was my early college years, when I wasn't allowed to have pets in the dorm. She stayed with my mother then, but she still knew me as her mama, and cuddled with me (after she'd gotten over the sulks at being left behind) whenever I visited.
She dealt with my long-term and, ultimately, disasterous relationship with my ex, whom she did NOT like at all, and my short-term relationship with my (now) friend Vlad whom she DID like. She watched me drag myself out of bed at dawn and put myself into bed well after dusk while I was going to school and working, and she snuggled under the covers with me when it got cold and she wanted to be near me.
She moved with me into Fred's apartment, all the while threatening to ignore him and speedboy, only to move to grudging admiration and then finally to adoration of Fred and tolerance of Speedboy.
She went through being the low kitten on the totem pole to being a single cat household, ruling the roost. Throughout it all she was quirky and a little off at times, but endlessly loyal to me, her bestest bud and mama.
I miss her desperately. We buried her today in a nice spot behind the apartment complex. We can see it from our window, and can visit easily whenever we want. I've decided to get a marble or granite memorial stone for her, so that we have something to remember her by, besides just the loving memories of how much she touched our hearts.
I can only say that I did the best by her that I could, and that ultimately, that included letting her go when she needed to.
~M
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3 comments:
My eyes won't quit leaking every time I think of Shady, and you, today. I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. I'm thinking of you, dear lady, and you'd better let me chip in on her memorial! *damp hugs*
This is terribly sad news, and my heart goes out to you. *zen hugs*
I tried posting on Fred's LJ, but it wouldn't let me. She was loved and cared for, and it's never easy letting them go, even if you know their time is near. *hugs all around*
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